The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Eigenvector]

Originally Posted by SailRN

Some years ago a computer company decided to send three of its staff to a conference in Swit


Bla Bla Bla


see if it does it again."

Let's close Windows and then open back up and see if it does it again.

[SailRN]

How many software engineers are needed to change a light bulb?




None, it's a hardware problem.

[SailRN]

Note to trolls: The actual directions and/or facts are not important or relevant. This is a joke, particularly definition number 2: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/joke


A pilot took off from San Francisco headed to Seattle. As he arrived in the area of Seattle he saw a very thick low-lying fog had settled in and he couldn't determine where the airport was. He and the passenger were getting very worried as the fuel was low and they were lost.


Then ahead the pilot saw a tall building sticking up through the fog and as he circled around it in an attempt to identify his location he saw an open window and someone at the window watching him.


As he circled he called out "Where" then around again and "am" and round again "I?"


As he came around again the person at the window shouted back "You" then on the next time around "are" then next round "in" then "an" and then after the next turn "airplane!".


The pilot immediately banked the airplane and headed south. The passenger exclaimed "Where are you going? How do you know which way to go?"


The pilot replied "The answer given, though technically correct, was completely useless. Therefore I knew the building was Microsoft headquarters and directly north of the airport!"

[Montanan]

Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers, is that true?

Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

[Eigenvector]

Not me in the picture.

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Says about 35% of the USA population!

[Eigenvector]

He He He

[tenchiki]

Originally Posted by GILow

Yes, but what is the question?

The most important cosmological question: what is the value of the Hubble constant?
All of the current answers (which aren't consistent with each other!) cluster around 42 statute miles per second per megaparsec.
The non-standard units fits perfectly in the HHG universe...

[StuM]

Originally Posted by tenchiki

The most important cosmological question: what is the value of the Hubble constant?

That assumes the Hubble constant is

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[MicHughV]

Some thoughts to ponder....

Planet earth, in the grand scheme of things...ie, our "known" universe, is probably akin to single grain of sand in all of Florida's beaches....in other words....pretty insignificant....probably less than insignificant...

This single grain of sand is populated, amongst other things...mankind. Yep, that be us.

Again in the grand scheme of things, mankind is akin to microbial proportional insignificance, our single greatest achievement being that of killing others of our kind on a grand scale.

Where does the "hubble constant" fit in this picture ? The mind boggles !

It's a joke....isn't ?
.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

Some thoughts to ponder....

Planet earth, in the grand scheme of things...ie, our "known" universe, is probably akin to single grain of sand in all of Florida's beaches....in other words....pretty insignificant....probably less than insignificant...

This single grain of sand is populated, amongst other things...mankind. Yep, that be us.

Again in the grand scheme of things, mankind is akin to microbial proportional insignificance, our single greatest achievement being that of killing others of our kind on a grand scale.

Where does the "hubble constant" fit in this picture ? The mind boggles !

It's a joke....isn't ?
.

It doesn't because it is not a size like the other things you are talking about, it is a rate of change in speed with distance.

However, if you are interested in where man fits into the scale of the universe, you may enjoy https://htwins.net/scale2/

[MicHughV]

I've seen similar scale viewings of planet earth as compared to our " known" universe...
I say "known" because, obviously, we don't really know the extent...in truth, we'd be more accurate saying "our best guess"....in lieu of "known"

To which one must add the distance away from planet earth these planet, suns, universes, etc, are, measured in distances to far away for the human mind to really comprehend. Seriously, a distance of 100 million light years is simply an incomprehensible number.....truly meaningless in any context....much easier to just say " bloody far away"...and leave it at that...

The bottom line...for me...is that mankind doesn't really know squat about anything.

Hell, it wasn't that long ago, the planet earth was thought to be flat.

Nonetheless, to get back to the joke thread....interesting stuff, but it doesn't fill my beer mug as there usually seems to be a time/space dilemma between me ordering another round to when it actually appears in front of me.