The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[goguygo]

Give some people 2.54 centimeters and they'll take 1.6 kilometers.

[goguygo]

My girlfriend moved to Berlin a while ago; when it comes to this long distance relationship, so far so good.

[tenchiki]

I just saw this in an ad:
"Duel (switch-able) Racor primary fuel filters with vacuum gauge(2020)"


I hope they meant DUAL, because if the filters duel, it is to the death of the engine...

[El Pinguino]

Robin - Good morning Batman

Batman - 'Morning Robin

Robin - There is something you need to know , Batman, I'm bi-sexual

Batman - You? Interested in girls? Well I never...

[Buzzman]

Thanks to SailRN I now know why people say I have a wooden appearance....they mean I'm as thick as three short planks.

But based on the ugly/intellect ratio, that sorta fits also. On that scale I must be really, really dumb.

Go on....you know you want to.... [grin]

[El Pinguino]

And a bonzer bit of alliteration to round off the day

https://www.theguardian.com/australi...et-spice-shelf

[SailRN]

THREE STAGES OF A MANS LIFE

BEFORE MARRIAGE


AFTER MARRIAGE


AFTER THE DIVORCE

[SailRN]

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children."

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children one of whom is disabled and another has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I had no idea"

And the lawyer says, "So... if I didn't give any money to them, what in the hell makes you think I'd ever give any to you?"

[GordMay]

[El Pinguino]

Originally Posted by delmarrey

Covid won’t brake into you home and rape your wife an steel all your valuables, then even kill you in the process.

Oh wait, it already has.

C riminals
O vertly
V iolate
I gnartant
D imwits

By the By
or is it bye the bye . I'm sure StuM will be along in a mo to sort that out.

Most seriously bad guns in 'Straya are in the hands of the villians - who use them to shoot each other.

The rest of us are comfortable with that.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2010-04-...and-war/401850

At the time I recall someone saying that if this was happening in Chicago the general population would have been seriously unhappy.

In Melbourne we just let them get on with it.

Normal programing may now resume ..

[JoeRobertJr]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Make mine a prehensile tail to control the tiller while my hands work the jib sheets.

[stevenhigbee]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Hmmmm....not sure Tonto would have spoken Spanish. according to the radio and TV series he was from the make-believe Potowatomi tribe.

There is nothing "make-believe" about the Potawatomi tribe. There are still 3 different bands of them.
https://www.potawatomi.org/
https://www.pbpindiantribe.com/
https://www.fcpotawatomi.com/

[SailRN]

I almost hate to post this, realizing that many of you will be envious and unable to control your envy.



And I know there are people who will post caustic remarks due to the crab bucket syndrome.



But as I've finally purchased both the boat of my dreams and a super RV too I just have to share it with you:

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1629329208

[JPA Cate]

Seven inflammatory political jokes have been removed.