Cruisers Forum
 


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 15-10-2017, 10:13   #616
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 121
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BandB View Post
No, society has not changed from that.
That could and did apply to me back in the late 60s to mid 70s.
The company store actually owned almost everything i 'owned'.

This is what i have always felt about myself


Back on OP subject, i have mixed feelings about female company.
Never did find one that wanted to go exploring on motorcycles, at least where i wanted to.... Can say it is pretty much appears to be the same with sailboats, sure seems like it from reading here.
Nicor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2017, 11:38   #617
Registered User
 
Saleen411's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Discovery Bay, CA
Posts: 1,144
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

It looks like it's been a couple of years since the OP last posted.

Interesting subject none the less. Personally, I prefer to be in a solid relationship first, THEN go cruising.... long term single handing is definitely NOT my thing, but to each their own. I would not be yachting without my lady.

As to living aboard as a single dude? Why not? Can have your cake and eat it too, so to speak. My younger "live aboard" friends did quite well in the ladies department back in the day. For a single guy, I don't see any disadvantage to living on a yacht as opposed to any land based home.

To me age seems to be the crux of the matter. With age comes all the related issues and challenges already discussed. Even more reason to find a love interest first before casting off IMHO.
__________________
"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore"- Andre' Gide
Saleen411 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2017, 11:57   #618
cruiser

Join Date: Jan 2017
Boat: Retired from CF
Posts: 13,304
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

But your land-based mate may end up not wanting to go once the time comes.

Then you've got a hard choice. . .
john61ct is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2017, 20:35   #619
Registered User
 
daletournier's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Australia
Boat: Catalina 470
Posts: 4,773
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by john61ct View Post
But your land-based mate may end up not wanting to go once the time comes.

Then you've got a hard choice. . .
Live your life or live her life... thats the question. As hard as it sounds it's an easy question for me to answer.
daletournier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2017, 22:25   #620
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Oregon to Alaska
Boat: Wheeler Shipyard 83' ex USCG
Posts: 2,996
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carat View Post
I can't understand why more women don't want to take off and sail the world. Life is short and it's not all about making money and hoarding nice things that just take up space in life.
Nobody understands women. Few are interested in adventure. Most women want something different than the harder life on a boat. Especially a small boat. I'm long time out of the dating market with no intention of reentering the dating game. But I meet several women a year of all ages that give strong hints or outright offers. Some that hope to trade up. I think it's because I have a comfortable power boat with laundry, and all the house size appliances along with a bar. If you want to acquire trouble one more time get a power boat women will see as an easy life. Also valuable enough they can sell after they've worked you into an early grave.
Lepke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2017, 22:32   #621
Marine Service Provider
 
SV THIRD DAY's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: La Paz, Mexico
Boat: 1978 Hudson Force 50 Ketch
Posts: 3,843
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

now wait a second....
are we not being lectured to almost daily that there isn't a difference between men and women?
In fact gender is a social construct of the patriarchy and you can now pick your gender and change it like underwater.
The only safe decision is to go cruising, because even if you are wrong you still win!
__________________
Rich Boren owner of:
Cruise RO Water High Output Water Makers
Technautic CoolBlue Refrigeration
La Paz Cruisers Supply and Yacht Management and Brokerage
SV THIRD DAY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-10-2017, 23:04   #622
Registered User
 
daletournier's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Australia
Boat: Catalina 470
Posts: 4,773
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SV THIRD DAY View Post
now wait a second....
are we not being lectured to almost daily that there isn't a difference between men and women?
In fact gender is a social construct of the patriarchy and you can now pick your gender and change it like underwater.
The only safe decision is to go cruising, because even if you are wrong you still win!
One of the sadest things I see happening (IMHO) is a blurring of the lines, back home I see women becoming more masculine and men becoming more feminine! Shemen and menshe's. I like feminine women, I like the differences, we aren't the same, but never have been never will be, and there are things women can't do as well as men and vise versa and that's OK. The inequality issue gets tiresome, it works both ways.
daletournier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2017, 00:20   #623
Jd1
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Victoria, BC
Boat: Catalina 36 MKII
Posts: 1,104
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by daletournier View Post
menshe's.
ROFL ... priceless !!!
Jd1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2017, 01:55   #624
Registered User
 
Exile's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Land of Disenchantment
Boat: Bristol 47.7
Posts: 5,175
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by daletournier View Post
One of the sadest things I see happening (IMHO) is a blurring of the lines, back home I see women becoming more masculine and men becoming more feminine! Shemen and menshe's. I like feminine women, I like the differences, we aren't the same, but never have been never will be, and there are things women can't do as well as men and vise versa and that's OK. The inequality issue gets tiresome, it works both ways.
Apparently you'll be OK provided you don't ask her to make you a sandwich.

Sydney mom called 1950s housewife for making husband lunch | Daily Mail Online
Exile is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2017, 05:25   #625
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Paradise
Boat: Various
Posts: 2,430
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Wifey B: It's no wonder so many of you men are single with your attitudes toward women. I hope for the sake of the woman, you stay that way. Now, real men aren't so easily intimidated and understand fully what equality is and that women can do anything men can while at the same time they can remain feminine. Glad I'm married to a man who gets it and who, as much as he does love boating, loves me more.
BandB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2017, 05:39   #626
Registered User
 
double u's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: forest city
Boat: no boat any more
Posts: 1,830
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BandB View Post
Wifey B: It's no wonder so many of you men are single with your attitudes toward women. I hope for the sake of the woman, you stay that way. Now, real men aren't so easily intimidated and understand fully what equality is and that women can do anything men can while at the same time they can remain feminine. Glad I'm married to a man who gets it and who, as much as he does love boating, loves me more.
BRAVO!!!
(seems like some of the male contributors here missed important societal developments of the last 50 years...)
__________________
...not all who wander are lost!
double u is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2017, 06:09   #627
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 158
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by daletournier View Post
One of the sadest things I see happening (IMHO) is a blurring of the lines, back home I see women becoming more masculine and men becoming more feminine! Shemen and menshe's. I like feminine women, I like the differences, we aren't the same, but never have been never will be, and there are things women can't do as well as men and vise versa and that's OK. The inequality issue gets tiresome, it works both ways.
This is true, have you seen any NFL or even college football games lately? Men with ear rings, flowing hair blowing in the breeze, they are even using hair extensions to appear to have long braids half way down their back. I'm afraid they'll be wearing lipstick next time I turn a game on.
Iaangus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2017, 06:38   #628
Registered User
 
wolfgal's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2015
Boat: still sailing an armchair...
Posts: 650
Images: 1
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Ok guys, i hope i don't get in trouble for this... (i created an account just now using my sister's b-day so to keep undercover -- forgive me admins but, if you read on, you'll understand why i need to protect my identity. no harm intended)

i've been on CF for a few years. i come regularly and learn all i can and really appreciate all that is contributed. i really enjoy your voices guys, your jokes, your rants, even the chauvinistic ones (most of the time); and this because, i grew up in a very, very white-male dominated place where women were expected to smile and act like their jokes were funny.

Already back then i was in the 1% category: i knew that the world didn't stop there and, yes, left. yet before i left, i learned how to understand from where the men in my area were coming. Understanding another person has a whole lot to do with one's ability to adopt his/her perspective. I've lived abroad most of my life, in foreign countries, so i guess you could say that i've been practicing for a while now. I understand lots of people now, gays, lesbians, artists, religious, non-religious, conservative, liberal... I have no 'category' of friends (well, except boat friends, and that's my favorite group).

why am i writing to you?

i'm writing because i do not want you guys to give up hope. more than this, i do not want you guys to get set and then stuck in ideas about women. I want you guys to know that there are those gals out there (and right here, reading your words) who crave adventure, who want to travel the oceans, camping-style, through the wet and the waves and with the problems that arise and the things that break along the way. There are those gals who have smiles on their faces in the morning after a rough-rocky night and who desire sex, more than anything else, and this, every single day, who are team-players and who are on the ball when things get rough. there are gals who are happy, very happy to take the helm, to winch the winch, to swim and scrub the hull, change the impeller, clean the bilge, switch out the anchors, go up the mast, who enjoy reading and laughing and listening to music and living the 'community-style' life the cruising way.

guys, there are gals who are trustworthy and stable and who are tucking parts of their paychecks away for this, who are really busy creating passive incomes and who are striving in every way possible to enable their cruising dreams. we are not many perhaps; and we are perhaps but one percent as Boatie said early on in this thread, but, guys, we are out here. In my case, I wanna wash my clothes in a bucket: that's how badly I want this guys!

Carat, who is obviously braver than me (who didn't revert to creating a false identity), is an example. she said something that I completely understand: she is focusing on making it happen on her own. Me too. And I am beginning to wonder if this is a trait among us one percenters...

Why? maybe we know how important it is to be able to handle everything on our own without you guys. Why not? After all, you could fall off the boat during your shift; you could go and die on us, or you could up leave us at the dock.... and, this has been said a million times, but really and truly, we do not want to risk getting screamed at, or be treated as a lesser-than, or abused (this does happen and it is pretty awful when it does. i know first hand). And my guess is that us one-percenters tend to be babes who want to eat right, drink in moderation and enjoy a healthy lifestyle (ahem, we do not want to hook up with an alcoholic, etc).

The term Menshe caught my eye. Yes, I do see your perspective, but i'm not sure the one-percenters like me are all menshe's. I'm a slender, sexy gal of 50-something. I look fantastic in a bikini, in a dress and can dance like no one. I'm educated and eager to learn new things (that is, as long as it has to do with sailboats). But I am also a hard-working girl, was raised that way. I was raised to be frugal and nonmaterialistic. Living off the grid on the boat would be the ultimate. No guys, I'm not an extra-terrestrian, I've got my human weaknesses too. the proof: i was also taught to give more than I receive... It is a hard pattern to break (and a good reason to stay away from men... most of the time) and, effectively, the very reason I'm not living on my boat yet.

do women like us want a man? some do not (i'm thinking of Zee who is a wonderful gal, and that's her choice, guys) .... but others among us cry out in unison: OF COURSE! Carat said it; I'll say it. More than anything else, I hope I find him so that we can share in the journey (and of course, the sex!).

The thing is, I have a feeling that I'll meet him out there once I'm on the water, on my boat. I'm not going to do on-line dating thing or try to hunt him down here; I do not think it is the way. And yes, I know that time is passing and that my chances of meeting him are slipping away with every day that i stay a landlubber trying to do it all myself... I need to get out there, am working on it.

I expect to start cruising in 2-3 years time. My kids will be old enough then (yes, women are bound to their chicks once they hatch), and my parents are already gone. but I've already decided on how to handle the rest: once the grand-babies come, I'll tell the family to catch a flight, come see me.

Ok guys, I hope this helps you. I hope this helps you widen your perspective on women. I hope it helps you see that, even if your chances of finding that sexy tomboy sailor are slim, they are not as slim as winning the lottery. we are even among you right here on CF.

Smile guys and please look kindly upon us babes: in the end, we are a diversified and complex yet enchanting bunch!
wolfgal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2017, 07:02   #629
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Casco Bay, ME and the Philippines
Boat: '90 Jeanneau Voyage 12.5
Posts: 59
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

I chuckle anytime I hear the same ole "guys just want a young hottie..." physical beauty isn't everything, but I've never know anyone to say it wasn't welcome. Or have you heard, "nah I prefer older and uglier?" Of course not. People get together based on mutual attraction and shared interest. They stay together because of compatibility and compromise. Age is irrelevant.

My 1st mate is significantly younger than I and if I had a dollar for every middle aged or older girl giving her rude looks or comments, I would be rich... It's interesting (not really) that the discrimination they are against in terms of age and gender stereotypes they themselves continue to perpetuate.

Before we met I was single, newly retired, planning and planning to sail off into the sunset for however many years I have left. Then we met and I've been a land locked for 4 years... But I am warming her up to the idea of setting sail at least, then I'll work on liveaboard...
sandrunner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-10-2017, 07:37   #630
Registered User
 
scgilligan's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Upstate SC, USA
Posts: 148
Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chichi View Post
Ok guys,.. so to keep undercover --
I see why you wanted to remain "under cover"..if you had used your real name here you might have been thrown into "internet dating" without even trying to be. Lol. Many men here would consider your description of yourself to be exactly what they are looking for in a woman/1st mate/co-captain.
scgilligan is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
cruising, living aboard, men, single

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
All about the Colregs no 3 - single handed sailing and keeping a look out Rustic Charm Rules of the Road, Regulations & Red Tape 401 23-02-2021 11:49
Make a Living, Living Aboard JanetGroene Boat Ownership & Making a Living 0 19-11-2010 12:28

Advertise Here


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:29.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.