Ok guys, i hope i don't get in trouble for this... (i created an account just now using my sister's b-day so to keep undercover -- forgive me admins but, if you read on, you'll understand why i need to protect my identity. no harm intended)
i've been on CF for a few years. i come regularly and learn all i can and really appreciate all that is contributed. i really enjoy your voices guys, your jokes, your rants, even the chauvinistic ones (most of the time); and this because, i grew up in a very, very white-male dominated place where women were expected to smile and act like their jokes were funny
Already back then i was in the 1% category: i knew that the world didn't stop there and, yes, left. yet before i left, i learned how to understand from where the men in my area were coming. Understanding another person has a whole lot to do with one's ability to adopt his/her perspective. I've lived abroad most of my life, in foreign countries, so i guess you could say that i've been practicing for a while now. I understand lots of people now, gays, lesbians, artists, religious, non-religious, conservative, liberal... I have no 'category' of friends (well, except boat
friends, and that's my favorite group).
why am i writing to you?
i'm writing because i do not want you guys to give up hope. more than this, i do not want you guys to get set and then stuck in ideas about women. I want you guys to know that there are those gals out there (and right here, reading your words) who crave adventure, who want to travel the oceans, camping-style, through the wet and the waves and with the problems that arise and the things that break along the way. There are those gals who have smiles on their faces in the morning after a rough-rocky night and who desire sex, more than anything else, and this, every single day, who are team-players and who are on the ball when things get rough. there are gals who are happy, very happy to take the helm
, to winch
, to swim and scrub the hull
, change the impeller, clean the bilge
, switch out the anchors, go up the mast
, who enjoy reading and laughing and listening to music
and living the 'community-style' life the cruising way.
guys, there are gals who are trustworthy and stable and who are tucking parts
of their paychecks away for this, who are really busy creating passive incomes and who are striving in every way possible to enable their cruising dreams. we are not many perhaps; and we are perhaps but one percent as Boatie said early on in this thread, but, guys, we are out here. In my case, I wanna wash my clothes in a bucket: that's how badly I want this guys!
Carat, who is obviously braver than me (who didn't revert to creating a false identity), is an example. she said something that I completely understand: she is focusing on making it happen on her own. Me too. And I am beginning to wonder if this is a trait among us one percenters...
Why? maybe we know how important it is to be able to handle everything on our own without you guys. Why not? After all, you could fall off the boat during your shift; you could go and die on us, or you could up leave us at the dock
.... and, this has been said a million times, but really and truly, we do not want to risk getting screamed at, or be treated as a lesser-than, or abused (this does happen and it is pretty awful when it does. i know first hand). And my guess is that us one-percenters tend to be babes who want to eat right, drink in moderation and enjoy a healthy lifestyle (ahem, we do not want to hook up with an alcoholic, etc).
The term Menshe caught my eye. Yes, I do see your perspective, but i'm not sure the one-percenters like me are all menshe's. I'm a slender, sexy gal of 50-something. I look fantastic in a bikini, in a dress and can dance like no one. I'm educated and eager to learn new things (that is, as long as it has to do with sailboats). But I am also a hard-working girl, was raised that way. I was raised to be frugal and nonmaterialistic. Living off the grid on the boat would be the ultimate. No guys, I'm not an extra-terrestrian, I've got my human weaknesses too. the proof: i was also taught to give more than I receive... It is a hard pattern to break (and a good reason to stay away from men... most of the time) and, effectively, the very reason I'm not living on my boat yet.
do women like us want a man? some do not (i'm thinking of Zee who is a wonderful gal, and that's her choice, guys) .... but others among us cry out in unison: OF COURSE! Carat said it; I'll say it. More than anything else, I hope I find him so that we can share in the journey (and of course, the sex!).
The thing is, I have a feeling that I'll meet him out there once I'm on the water
, on my boat. I'm not going to do on-line dating thing or try to hunt him down here; I do not think it is the way. And yes, I know that time is passing and that my chances of meeting him are slipping away with every day that i stay a landlubber trying to do it all myself... I need to get out there, am working on it.
I expect to start cruising in 2-3 years time. My kids
will be old enough then (yes, women are bound to their chicks once they hatch), and my parents are already gone. but I've already decided on how to handle the rest: once the grand-babies come, I'll tell the family
to catch a flight, come see me.
Ok guys, I hope this helps you. I hope this helps you widen your perspective on women. I hope it helps you see that, even if your chances of finding that sexy tomboy sailor are slim, they are not as slim as winning the lottery. we are even among you right here on CF.
Smile guys and please look kindly upon us babes: in the end, we are a diversified and complex yet enchanting bunch!