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Old 28-01-2018, 23:41   #2116
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Thanks! Gorgeous picture. I love it with the kid and his canoe. He's so lost in thought....

What's interesting though is that your bimini looks a lot like my arch design. We even designed it with a pull up bar (a girl's gotta get exercise somehow) along with other places to mount the extra antenna including the SSB whip. The radar pole will be off to one side.

Apologies to all about the thread drift. I dig talking about boats more than relationships and the momentum on this post was slowing.

As to the siblings questions, I have two - one older by 9 years and one younger by 2. My mother used to say she'd take 2 more boys over another one like me any day. She used to call me the little home wrecker because I climbed on everything. The boys would be playing calmly while I was outside in the trees or catching blue crabs to annoy the dog. I am curious as to what that might say about me and relationships.
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Old 29-01-2018, 08:04   #2117
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Night and day
Thanks Melissa, can you describe the differences?
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Old 30-01-2018, 11:04   #2118
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Thanks! Gorgeous picture. I love it with the kid and his canoe. He's so lost in thought....

What's interesting though is that your bimini looks a lot like my arch design. We even designed it with a pull up bar (a girl's gotta get exercise somehow) along with other places to mount the extra antenna including the SSB whip. The radar pole will be off to one side.

Apologies to all about the thread drift. I dig talking about boats more than relationships and the momentum on this post was slowing.

As to the siblings questions, I have two - one older by 9 years and one younger by 2. My mother used to say she'd take 2 more boys over another one like me any day. She used to call me the little home wrecker because I climbed on everything. The boys would be playing calmly while I was outside in the trees or catching blue crabs to annoy the dog. I am curious as to what that might say about me and relationships.
I am so sorry that your mom treated you that way.
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Old 30-01-2018, 14:20   #2119
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Thanks Melissa, can you describe the differences?
The ones who grew up with sisters seem to have figured out womens secret language, so they understand them better and they don't expect them to 'act like a man and walk it out'.
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Old 31-01-2018, 01:45   #2120
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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I am so sorry that your mom treated you that way.
Naw, my mother is a complicated person, but she wasn't being mean about this, just factual. Her first language was French so she thought her "little home wrecker" was a cute saying and a term of affection. I did pull the sewing machine down on my head with still the scar to prove it and had my knee go through our aquarium tank while I was jumping on the couch. Luckily that one didn't scar me. Oh, and pushing my brother up on the roof from the antenna so we could practice like they do in the circus, and the friend's skunk I brought home, and the toy soldiers I'd light on fire to watch melt, and on and on... it's a surprise the poor woman didn't call me something worse.
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Old 31-01-2018, 01:46   #2121
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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The ones who grew up with sisters seem to have figured out womens secret language, so they understand them better and they don't expect them to 'act like a man and walk it out'.
So true, I have one sister, but she is 12 years younger, so was only a child when I left home.....Taught me nothing about women.
For guys like me, it took me many years to learn that you don't need to "fix" everything.... You just need to be a good listener.
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Old 31-01-2018, 08:39   #2122
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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For guys like me, it took me many years to learn that you don't need to "fix" everything.... You just need to be a good listener.
Quite apt Pelagic. It takes some of us guys longer than others to learn such basics, and then there are those who never seem to learn. (1:20m)

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Old 31-01-2018, 09:17   #2123
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So true, I have one sister, but she is 12 years younger, so was only a child when I left home.....Taught me nothing about women.
For guys like me, it took me many years to learn that you don't need to "fix" everything.... You just need to be a good listener.
Similar here when kid sis and bro came along.. she was one when I went off to boarding school and by the time she was 5 I was 5000miles away in the UK joining the Royal Navy.
My learning curve came 2yrs into my marriage when I used to babysit my son and a divorced friend off my wife and I's daughter for the weekly 'Ladies Nite Out'..
We would go to Rona's (the friend) house to gather.. 9 to 12 females usually and they'd head off from there.. I stayed with the kids.
They'd get back in the early hours and sit around and waffle about the night and who'd pulled.. who'd got the ******** etc.. pretty soon I was 'one of the gals'.. learnt that women are as bad as guys.. just different.
"My God Rona..!!! what did you make a date with that guy for.. he was a dog..!!
"Maybe Bev.. but did you see his car..?? Wowzaaaaa.!!!!"
I get their humour and.. I like many things they don't.. cooking and ironing for a start.. throwing a dinner party.?? Invite Phil and blag him into doing roast poussin with blackberry for 14.. we'll help with the prep..
So I do get on okay with the opposite sex.. its guys I have difficulty with..
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Old 31-01-2018, 23:11   #2124
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Quite apt Pelagic. It takes some of us guys longer than others to learn such basics, and then there are those who never seem to learn. (1:20m)

Our friend Exile nailed it.

Some of the best advice I ever received started as a joke, but became a rule when the joke was deemed effective as hell:

When your lovely woman comes home and immediately starts to describe the mean boss and the mean co-workers and the mean Starbucks dude... the best thing to do is to:
1. QUIETLY listen to her full wave of angst with eye contact.
2. When there is a pause, SOFTLY speak the following sentence:
"How does that make you feel?"
3. Repeat, starting at #1.

Pro tip: She does NOT want your fix-it advice, you dolt. She wants you to listen and empathize and if you are (of course) lost, just PRETEND to empathize until you can summon real empathy or (worst-case) until she releases all of the angst.
-OR-
Just float around in a monohull that smells like dudes. The choice is yours.
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Old 31-01-2018, 23:38   #2125
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by cyan View Post
Our friend Exile nailed it.

Some of the best advice I ever received started as a joke, but became a rule when the joke was deemed effective as hell:

When your lovely woman comes home and immediately starts to describe the mean boss and the mean co-workers and the mean Starbucks dude... the best thing to do is to:
1. QUIETLY listen to her full wave of angst with eye contact.
2. When there is a pause, SOFTLY speak the following sentence:
"How does that make you feel?"
3. Repeat, starting at #1.

Pro tip: She does NOT want your fix-it advice, you dolt. She wants you to listen and empathize and if you are (of course) lost, just PRETEND to empathize until you can summon real empathy or (worst-case) until she releases all of the angst.
-OR-
Just float around in a monohull that smells like dudes. The choice is yours.
HA! Words of wisdom, although one of my sisters & her husband seem to have the roles reversed. By her own admission, she's more often than not the one trying to empathize (or at least pretending) when her husband comes home with the nail in his forehead.

But as a more typical male dolt(!), if my female partner is upset about something, then my (and many males I think) natural reaction is to:

1. Determine what she is upset about;
2. Once determined, figure out the best way to try & help resolve the issue that is causing such upset; and,
3. Promptly retreat back to my monohull, accompanied by the dog of course.

Good advice Cyan but some of us boys can't handle seeing our partners upset & wanna make it all OK for them. And some of us also suck at pretending. I know, I know . . . dolts!
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Old 01-02-2018, 01:31   #2126
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by cyan View Post
Our friend Exile nailed it.

Pro tip: She does NOT want your fix-it advice, you dolt. She wants you to listen and empathize and if you are (of course) lost, just PRETEND to empathize until you can summon real empathy or (worst-case) until she releases all of the angst.
-OR-
Just float around in a monohull that smells like dudes. The choice is yours.
No thank you! Monohull it is.
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Old 01-02-2018, 04:30   #2127
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

If all else Fails!
Rub her Feet!
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Old 01-02-2018, 10:09   #2128
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Yup, "chicks dig it when you pretend to care."
- Michael J Fox as Alex Keaton.
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Old 01-02-2018, 14:39   #2129
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Naw, my mother is a complicated person, but she wasn't being mean about this, just factual. Her first language was French so she thought her "little home wrecker" was a cute saying and a term of affection. I did pull the sewing machine down on my head with still the scar to prove it and had my knee go through our aquarium tank while I was jumping on the couch. Luckily that one didn't scar me. Oh, and pushing my brother up on the roof from the antenna so we could practice like they do in the circus, and the friend's skunk I brought home, and the toy soldiers I'd light on fire to watch melt, and on and on... it's a surprise the poor woman didn't call me something worse.
Having fun, exploring and experimenting with the elements is being a good child. Accidents are bound to happen when you are a child, but blind obedience is the real problem child.
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Old 01-02-2018, 17:49   #2130
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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So true, I have one sister, but she is 12 years younger, so was only a child when I left home.....Taught me nothing about women.
For guys like me, it took me many years to learn that you don't need to "fix" everything.... You just need to be a good listener.
And don't forget the hugs.
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