Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

[Tbrad]

THis thread makes me REALLY REALLY appreciate the PNW!!

[Bash]

Originally Posted by atoll

sorry if you have taken my comments personally ,they were not meant that way,more a generalization on the state of cruising these days!,and its decline and commercialization by those who see the lifestyle as a retirement plan or sabatical,on well funded budgets.

I'm afraid I'm one of the checkbook cruisers Atoll is complaining about.

Cruising is not my #1 adventure. Rather, it's how I take a break from that adventure. For now it's mostly limited to sabbaticals--a word I would never misspell--and research trips. I tend to be well-funded when I go abroad because the scholarship in which I engage contributes to new understandings of the local environment, thus benefiting local populations.

I tend to avoid shopping whenever possible, whether at home or abroad, and rarely haggle over goods because I consider myself to have more important ways to invest my time. I read, I write, I sketch the birds that land on the davits. When that gets old I pull out the guitar and play quietly.

I look forward to cruising when I retire five years from now, although I'd point out that I will only retire from teaching, not from writing. My cruising kitty will be enormous, by Atoll's standards, because of the decades Wonderblond and I have spent at our respective grindstones. When the boat gets hauled, we'll gladly pay someone else to do the sanding, a privilege we've earned by spending so many years toiling away on blackboards.

I was born at the very peak of the post-WWII baby boom. When I retire, hoards shall be retiring with me, not only with full pensions, but with actual checkbooks as well. We will be out there with in-mast furling, electric winches, and fully integrated navigation packages.

Resistance is futile.

[sailorboy1]

I have always read how social boaters were, but my experience over the past 6 years says otherwise. While most are friendly, I haven't found boaters any more likely than the general pubic to volunteer to made a social event with others they don't know. But I'm looking forward to and hoping my experience to be wrong.

[sailorchic34]

Originally Posted by valhalla360

No doubt being rude works (and saying you would rather give your cat a bath is going to be taken as a nasty response by most).

You likely will never be asked again, just don't be upset when a nasty attitude breeds a nasty attitude back.

Ah, my evil plan works!

Sorry, just because someone asks to come to a potluck or social, does not mean I'm under any obligation to accept. Saying no thank you is not rude. Some oddly enough find social situations quite uncomfortable.

Luckily in ten years being out and about on a boat, I've never been asked to a social. Partly because I avoid busy anchorages like the plague. I'm actually really OK with that too. I'm not at all a party girl. Never have been. A good book and a spot of tea and I'm a happy camper. For me a boat is not a means to being social, its a means to get away.

Being in a quiet anchorage with the sky reflected on the water, with just nature about. That's my idea of a good time....

But to each their own. Some folks, maybe even most are social. Alas, I've never been. I don't have a boat to be social, I have a boat to get away from society. I'm not being rude, just horribly uncomfortable in social situations.

Even my BFF only invites my to very very small parties (less then 5 people) anymore. More then that and to me its sort of like having a root canal. Just how it feels to a massive introvert and so not any fun for me.

Sorry if that feels rude to you. But that's how it is.

[robert sailor]

You must be cruising in the Med,,LOL

[wellin]

Originally Posted by Tbrad

THis thread makes me REALLY REALLY appreciate the PNW!!

Me too!!! But that is because i sail here. Lots of places to anchor out. For me its crowds not people. I dreamed of owning a boat for a long time. Then when i bought a boat that needed to be kept at a marina i felt totally out of place. I don't have a big budget for sailing (sometimes none at all). I find myself not going to the marina on the nicest days just out of fear. I also don't go shopping when its crowded. Too many people. The first time i left the marina, i motored past the public dock and beach i looked over at hundreds of people....and they were all looking at me!!! It was kinda a zen moment when i realized they probably were thinking the same thing i always thought "look at that lucky guy, he has a sailboat!! How awsome would that be." Made me realize how lucky i am, and to deny myself my own boat because of what people might think is foolish. I still don't like going to the marina but i force myself because the solitude that is just outside marina is worth it. Just me and the boat and sometimes the wind. I don't mind the occasional sea otter coming over to say hi.

Andy

Sent from my SCH-I415 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[atoll]

Originally Posted by Bash

I'm afraid I'm one of the checkbook cruisers Atoll is complaining about.

Cruising is not my #1 adventure. Rather, it's how I take a break from that adventure. For now it's mostly limited to sabbaticals--a word I would never misspell--and research trips. I tend to be well-funded when I go abroad because the scholarship in which I engage contributes to new understandings of the local environment, thus benefiting local populations.

I tend to avoid shopping whenever possible, whether at home or abroad, and rarely haggle over goods because I consider myself to have more important ways to invest my time. I read, I write, I sketch the birds that land on the davits. When that gets old I pull out the guitar and play quietly.

I look forward to cruising when I retire five years from now, although I'd point out that I will only retire from teaching, not from writing. My cruising kitty will be enormous, by Atoll's standards, because of the decades Wonderblond and I have spent at our respective grindstones. When the boat gets hauled, we'll gladly pay someone else to do the sanding, a privilege we've earned by spending so many years toiling away on blackboards.

I was born at the very peak of the post-WWII baby boom. When I retire, hoards shall be retiring with me, not only with full pensions, but with actual checkbooks as well. We will be out there with in-mast furling, electric winches, and fully integrated navigation packages.

Resistance is futile.

The Great Unwashed will seek you out,knowing you have an ice maker on board and an endless supply of spare parts..........

You will be hounded by boat boys selling over priced bannanas,once the word goes round you refuse to haggle,and pay top dollar.......

Other check book sailors,with bigger budgets,bigger boats,will anchor on top of you,so as to make their vessels look more fabulous,and bigger compared to your little 50 footer...........

Wonderblond,who i'm sure is a lovely person,after 4 weeks at sea with you and your scribblings,will actively seek out other female counterparts around the wash tub in nuka hiva to discuss girly things........resulting in a string of social invitations,that will be unavoidable,as these will be your peer group and support network for the rest of the looooong pacific crossing

Resistance is futile

[boatman61]

I could say my going or not going to a 'Do' depends on how many interesting (to me) women will be there...


but I hate being honest...

[Prairie Chicken]

Introverts tend to want to engage everyone they meet at a more comprehensive level. We want to engage in in-depth conversations, for example exploring the idea of shy cruisers . Extroverts can dance at a superficial level. They revel in small talk. For us introverts, it's just hard work.

You're spot on Mike!

[Hudson Force]

I love meeting other crusiers. For me it's mostly a survey of the stuff they have on deck,- How have you altered that anchor davit? .... What do use that stainless steel "dohicky" on your taff rail for? ...... What's your strategy for this & that? I attend some gatherings at times,- share a little food and drink, but I need to hang on the fringe and maybe meet a person or two. I'm comfortable with the big crowd, but I'm just not interested in it.

"Checkbook" cruiser? I don't know. I spend money like everyone else, but I'm very frugal and make way with at lot of DIY, bargaining and sailor's consignment stores. I don't meet many cruisers who are cruising on vacation, 'most I spend time with are cruising for everyday life.

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Kinda surprised at the heat in some folks words in this thread.
I thought the thing about being allowed to do what ever one likes, wether shy, extrovert, loner, or whatever, without someone being critical of it.

If someone is shy and prefers to remain on their boat, thats fine.... But if they sit there slagging off other people because the others like socialising and meeting new people, then its a bit rude.

Danger, danger, MarkJ...

You are perilously close to being reasonable and ruining your proper Aussie reputation.

Cheers,

Jim

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by s/v Jedi

We won't take "no" for an answer! Drag you by the hairs out of that dark cave, force you into "sail fast, live slow" T-shirts, on to the over-organized hi-di-hi, ho-di-ho designated area, put you at a table to play Mexican Train dominoes, every 5 minutes start screaming and demand that every player swaps seats with other players, then put a paper crown on your head when you win.

not.done.yet.



drag you away from the dominoes, empty a bottle of cheap rum into your throat, then a half pack of cigarettes so smoke smoke smoke, or would you prefer p0t?! Now we shout, shout and dance, dance, drink, drink, smoke more, jump into the pool and out and on and on it goes!

We'll put some decent social skills into y'all

funny. and. frightening.

Originally Posted by FSMike

I think the ideal "shy" ensign would be invisible, otherwise somebody might dinghy over to ask about it.

I get to thinking I'm invisible in my little world. And am always surprised when the evidence proves otherwise. Visitors knocked on the hull yesterday. I almost jumped out of my armchair, did spill my beer, and knocked my admiral's cap askew.

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Kinda surprised at the heat in some folks words in this thread.
I thought the thing about being allowed to do what ever one likes, wether shy, extrovert, loner, or whatever, without someone being critical of it.

If someone is shy and prefers to remain on their boat, thats fine.... But if they sit there slagging off other people because the others like socialising and meeting new people, then its a bit rude.

Guilty as charged. My pic of all the inflatables was snarky. I know they make sense in a lot of ways. I plead old age. In the early days, both inflatables and outboards were infamously unreliable. I've always gone the hard dink route. I have two at the moment; that's a problem in itself.

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

...................... Visitors knocked on the hull yesterday. I almost jumped out of my armchair, did spill my beer, and knocked my admiral's cap askew. ..................

This always startles me. It's frightening and all too comon for visitors to be unaware that many of us are living within a large drum. Anything more than a very gentle tap can be upsetting!

[atoll]

Originally Posted by CaptForce

This always startles me. It's frightening and all too comon for visitors to be unaware that many of us are living within a large drum. Anything more than a very gentle tap can be upsetting!

startling for the visitors as well when i jump up stark naked,and invite them aboard for a beer

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by s/v Jedi

We won't take "no" for an answer! Drag you by the hairs out of that dark cave, force you into "sail fast, live slow" T-shirts, on to the over-organized hi-di-hi, ho-di-ho designated area, put you at a table to play Mexican Train dominoes, every 5 minutes start screaming and demand that every player swaps seats with other players, then put a paper crown on your head when you win.

not.done.yet.



drag you away from the dominoes, empty a bottle of cheap rum into your throat, then a half pack of cigarettes so smoke smoke smoke, or would you prefer p0t?! Now we shout, shout and dance, dance, drink, drink, smoke more, jump into the pool and out and on and on it goes!

We'll put some decent social skills into y'all

In other words the standard Shelter Bay Lifestyle... and don't be surprised if you see someone staggering round out off their face and buck naked at 9am on their way across the marina... it could just be you after a quiet night out...