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20-01-2014, 12:30
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#121
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New Mexico, USA
Boat: International Etchells USA 125 Black Magic, Santana 20 475 Ghost, Hobie 33 3100 Bruja, dinghies,
Posts: 1,118
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailorchic34
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You've learned to take your cod liver oil/hairball remedy regularly, then? Cat hair is a state of life.
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20-01-2014, 12:30
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#122
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: SF Bay Area
Boat: Islander 34
Posts: 5,480
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by robert sailor
Must be a demographic thingy, all these non social types cruising right now. In all the years we have been cruising I never met one of you. I honestly can not recall an offshore cruiser that wasn't at least somewhat social.
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Myself, I tend to avoid busy anchorages. Busy anchorages for me is more then two other boats. Plus as I don't drink, I'll not be found in bars.
Sort of defeats the whole shy loner type, if we were easy to find.....
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20-01-2014, 12:32
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#123
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: SF Bay Area
Boat: Islander 34
Posts: 5,480
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rgscpat
You've learned to take your cod liver oil/hairball remedy regularly, then? Cat hair is a state of life.
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With a gato, cat hair is a given....everywhere. I don't even have cod liver oil on the boat. And I'm ok with that too.....
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20-01-2014, 12:37
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#124
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: gettin naughty on the beach in cornwall
Boat: 63 custom alloy sloop,macwester26,prout snowgoose 37 elite catamaran!
Posts: 10,594
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Svdestiny
Atoll I apologize. I never should have. resorted to name calling.
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no worries,i think wires were crossed,as i had not meant to be offensive
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20-01-2014, 13:26
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#125
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Somewhere in the Pacific
Boat: Kristen 52
Posts: 304
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
One of the many benefits of having of a boat is I can have both, privacy and solitude when I want it or go the social route, all it takes is a turn of the wheel in the direction I want to go at the time.
Cheers,
Chuck
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20-01-2014, 13:34
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#126
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 5,985
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
OK and I was referring to offshore sailors where there is lots of effort to cross an ocean and company on the other side is very welcome.
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20-01-2014, 13:35
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#127
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 31,065
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
[QUOTE=iSaint;1445417]
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61
This is where an assumption goes wrong. I don't drink, and am fairly introverted. Big events do DO take effort and energy and require re energizing.
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This is where a sense of humour comes in handy..
And the hangovers YOUR FAULT... I had to drink your drinks...
__________________
You can't oppress a people for over 75 years and have them say.. "I Love You.. ".
"It is better to die standing proud, than to live a lifetime on ones knees.."
Self Defence is no excuse for Genocide...
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20-01-2014, 13:40
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#128
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 31,065
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zeehag
BIG events have me puking by midnite. never fails.
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1/ Don't mix any other alcohol with Tequila...
2/ Drink less...
Works every time...
__________________
You can't oppress a people for over 75 years and have them say.. "I Love You.. ".
"It is better to die standing proud, than to live a lifetime on ones knees.."
Self Defence is no excuse for Genocide...
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20-01-2014, 13:57
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#129
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Annapolis MD
Boat: Building a Max Cruise 44 hybrid electric cat
Posts: 3,272
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
I don't know if it's our age or what (maybe my ugly mug), but we have only had people stop by in their dingy a few times in the past year and a half of cruising. This was on the East coast of the USA and western Caribbean... including the crazy social Bahamas.
Watching others in most anchorages, they seem to only chat with people they already know from somewhere and not new people. Surprisingly, the French boats seem to be the friendliest and most outgoing of any other flag we have seen.
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20-01-2014, 13:59
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#130
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cat herder, extreme blacksheep
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: furycame alley , tropics, mexico for now
Boat: 1976 FORMOSA yankee clipper 41
Posts: 18,967
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
boaty..it takes no alcohol at all .. just too many people
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20-01-2014, 15:47
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#131
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Moderator
Join Date: May 2008
Location: cruising SW Pacific
Boat: Jon Sayer 1-off 46 ft fract rig sloop strip plank in W Red Cedar
Posts: 21,457
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by funjohnson
I don't know if it's our age or what (maybe my ugly mug), but we have only had people stop by in their dingy a few times in the past year and a half of cruising. This was on the East coast of the USA and western Caribbean... including the crazy social Bahamas.
Watching others in most anchorages, they seem to only chat with people they already know from somewhere and not new people. Surprisingly, the French boats seem to be the friendliest and most outgoing of any other flag we have seen.
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This is an interesting observation (only interacting with previous acquaintances), and I suspect it partly comes from so many new cruisers starting out in some organized rally type event. With that group of force-fed associates, it is easier to socialize with them than to go to the trouble of meeting new folks. To me this seems sad, but whatever works for them...
Once away from the home areas (and these include Mexico and the Caribe for us Yanks) things thin out a bit. We've long made it a practice to dinghy by and introduce ourselves to any arriving yacht in a remote anchorage. If we find the newcomers to be interesting or friendly, we will invite them over for a cuppa and a chat. If they choose to come, that's fine, and so is the choice to not come.
To Ann and I, this is a big part of cruising... the chance to meet and know folks from all around the world. Sometimes it is a lot of work, as in when there is little common language ground. But we've had some memorable times with folks where we did a lot of pointing and shrugging and smiling, and damn little "real" intercourse. Note that alcohol is not a necessary ingredient in such affairs. Good will and a common interest in things nautical are also a good social lubricant.
Finally, do note that none of the above involve large groups. We don't particularly like large gatherings either, but sometimes endure crowds for some specific reason. Like this past weekend when we attended the launching of a gorgeous re-constructed 8-meter yacht here in Port Cygnet. The chance to inspect this museum-quality vessel made the noise and crowd a small price to pay!
I think that there is a different mind set between folks who are long-termers and those who are vacation or sabbatical cruisers. We're not trying to unwind from our daily lives, a situation where isolation may be a highly desired feature. We have isolation by the bucketfull, and often desire some human interaction. So really, if you just hoist your shy gay pirate flag we will leave you alone and not invite you to the potluck!
Cheers,
Jim
__________________
Jim and Ann s/v Insatiable II, lying Port Cygnet Tasmania once again.
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20-01-2014, 16:14
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#132
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, in Tasmania, Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 29,729
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
I guess one alternative to the shy, gay pirate flag is just to say "no". I personally haven't organized a beach gathering since the summer solstice in 1994. I invited every boat in the anchorage, as we knew no one, and asked them to bring some food to share and a musical instrument, if they had one. As I remember, it was a pleasant, long evening. The point here is, as we were strangers, we thought it was up to us to introduce ourselves. The gathering ashore is one that people all know in advance they can leave when they feel like it.
Without the *buzz off*, "I vant to be alone" flag, most long term cruisers will as a matter of principle invite all the boats, even the megayacht that somehow got mixed in with us little guys. Many of them over the years have expressed gratitude at being included: not perceiving themselves to be overwhelming to us, they did not understand why they had often been excluded. There's a huge variation!
Actually, if you feel off-put by being invited to a larger yacht, consider that they might just think it was practical to have the guests on the bigger platform for entertainment. That is, no insult or oneupmanship implied. They should have the sense to come to the smaller boats for a cuppa, though, or socially, it feels out of balance.
__________________
Who scorns the calm has forgotten the storm.
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20-01-2014, 16:20
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#133
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the boat, somewhere in Australia.
Boat: Swanson 42 & Kelly Peterson 44
Posts: 9,395
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate
I guess one alternative to the shy, gay pirate flag is just to say "no".
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Don't say that. I've nearly finished my initial flag design.
__________________
Refitting… again.
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20-01-2014, 17:02
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#134
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Lake Ont
Posts: 8,570
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate
the shy, gay pirate flag
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I think there's about 4 oxymorons in there.
Question to all you tropical cruisers: other than someone inviting you, is there actually an accepted flag or symbol in an anchorage/mooring field/marina that indicates that socializing is going on? Like the pirate flag? or the cocktail flag? Stuffed parrot?
(or does one simply follow the noise?)
We're getting another polar vortex thingy this week, so this thread is keeping me warm.
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20-01-2014, 17:07
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#135
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Central California
Boat: M/V Carquinez Coot
Posts: 3,782
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)
It helps to have a compatible extrovert aboard when you're shy.
__________________
Kar-KEEN-ez Koot
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