Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

[rgscpat]

Originally Posted by sailorchic34

....Mind you, that cat hair on the tongue thing, takes some getting use too....

You've learned to take your cod liver oil/hairball remedy regularly, then? Cat hair is a state of life.

[sailorchic34]

Originally Posted by robert sailor

Must be a demographic thingy, all these non social types cruising right now. In all the years we have been cruising I never met one of you. I honestly can not recall an offshore cruiser that wasn't at least somewhat social.

Myself, I tend to avoid busy anchorages. Busy anchorages for me is more then two other boats. Plus as I don't drink, I'll not be found in bars.

Sort of defeats the whole shy loner type, if we were easy to find.....

[sailorchic34]

Originally Posted by rgscpat

You've learned to take your cod liver oil/hairball remedy regularly, then? Cat hair is a state of life.

With a gato, cat hair is a given....everywhere. I don't even have cod liver oil on the boat. And I'm ok with that too.....

[atoll]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

Atoll I apologize. I never should have. resorted to name calling.
[

no worries,i think wires were crossed,as i had not meant to be offensive

[Freedom45]

One of the many benefits of having of a boat is I can have both, privacy and solitude when I want it or go the social route, all it takes is a turn of the wheel in the direction I want to go at the time.

Cheers,
Chuck

[robert sailor]

OK and I was referring to offshore sailors where there is lots of effort to cross an ocean and company on the other side is very welcome.

[boatman61]

[QUOTE=iSaint;1445417]

Originally Posted by boatman61

This is where an assumption goes wrong. I don't drink, and am fairly introverted. Big events do DO take effort and energy and require re energizing.

This is where a sense of humour comes in handy..

And the hangovers YOUR FAULT... I had to drink your drinks...

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by zeehag

BIG events have me puking by midnite. never fails.

1/ Don't mix any other alcohol with Tequila...
2/ Drink less...
Works every time...

[Matt Johnson]

I don't know if it's our age or what (maybe my ugly mug), but we have only had people stop by in their dingy a few times in the past year and a half of cruising. This was on the East coast of the USA and western Caribbean... including the crazy social Bahamas.

Watching others in most anchorages, they seem to only chat with people they already know from somewhere and not new people. Surprisingly, the French boats seem to be the friendliest and most outgoing of any other flag we have seen.

[zeehag]

boaty..it takes no alcohol at all .. just too many people

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by funjohnson

I don't know if it's our age or what (maybe my ugly mug), but we have only had people stop by in their dingy a few times in the past year and a half of cruising. This was on the East coast of the USA and western Caribbean... including the crazy social Bahamas.

Watching others in most anchorages, they seem to only chat with people they already know from somewhere and not new people. Surprisingly, the French boats seem to be the friendliest and most outgoing of any other flag we have seen.

This is an interesting observation (only interacting with previous acquaintances), and I suspect it partly comes from so many new cruisers starting out in some organized rally type event. With that group of force-fed associates, it is easier to socialize with them than to go to the trouble of meeting new folks. To me this seems sad, but whatever works for them...

Once away from the home areas (and these include Mexico and the Caribe for us Yanks) things thin out a bit. We've long made it a practice to dinghy by and introduce ourselves to any arriving yacht in a remote anchorage. If we find the newcomers to be interesting or friendly, we will invite them over for a cuppa and a chat. If they choose to come, that's fine, and so is the choice to not come.

To Ann and I, this is a big part of cruising... the chance to meet and know folks from all around the world. Sometimes it is a lot of work, as in when there is little common language ground. But we've had some memorable times with folks where we did a lot of pointing and shrugging and smiling, and damn little "real" intercourse. Note that alcohol is not a necessary ingredient in such affairs. Good will and a common interest in things nautical are also a good social lubricant.

Finally, do note that none of the above involve large groups. We don't particularly like large gatherings either, but sometimes endure crowds for some specific reason. Like this past weekend when we attended the launching of a gorgeous re-constructed 8-meter yacht here in Port Cygnet. The chance to inspect this museum-quality vessel made the noise and crowd a small price to pay!

I think that there is a different mind set between folks who are long-termers and those who are vacation or sabbatical cruisers. We're not trying to unwind from our daily lives, a situation where isolation may be a highly desired feature. We have isolation by the bucketfull, and often desire some human interaction. So really, if you just hoist your shy gay pirate flag we will leave you alone and not invite you to the potluck!

Cheers,

Jim

[JPA Cate]

I guess one alternative to the shy, gay pirate flag is just to say "no". I personally haven't organized a beach gathering since the summer solstice in 1994. I invited every boat in the anchorage, as we knew no one, and asked them to bring some food to share and a musical instrument, if they had one. As I remember, it was a pleasant, long evening. The point here is, as we were strangers, we thought it was up to us to introduce ourselves. The gathering ashore is one that people all know in advance they can leave when they feel like it.

Without the *buzz off*, "I vant to be alone" flag, most long term cruisers will as a matter of principle invite all the boats, even the megayacht that somehow got mixed in with us little guys. Many of them over the years have expressed gratitude at being included: not perceiving themselves to be overwhelming to us, they did not understand why they had often been excluded. There's a huge variation!

Actually, if you feel off-put by being invited to a larger yacht, consider that they might just think it was practical to have the guests on the bigger platform for entertainment. That is, no insult or oneupmanship implied. They should have the sense to come to the smaller boats for a cuppa, though, or socially, it feels out of balance.

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

I guess one alternative to the shy, gay pirate flag is just to say "no".

Don't say that. I've nearly finished my initial flag design.

[Lake-Effect]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

the shy, gay pirate flag

I think there's about 4 oxymorons in there.

Question to all you tropical cruisers: other than someone inviting you, is there actually an accepted flag or symbol in an anchorage/mooring field/marina that indicates that socializing is going on? Like the pirate flag? or the cocktail flag? Stuffed parrot?

(or does one simply follow the noise?)

We're getting another polar vortex thingy this week, so this thread is keeping me warm.

[markpierce]

It helps to have a compatible extrovert aboard when you're shy.