Dating sites for sailors looking for companionship and love

[gamayun]

Other than the opportunity for regular sex (oxymoron that the statement is), I am conflicted as to why people need to couple. As someone who stays single for long periods of time, I date, I hang out with friends, i enjoy a diversity of activities with guy friends and girl friends, I stay busy, I leave for days/weeks at a time, I call my own shots. The longer I do this, the more I wonder why I would want someone "full time" in my space. I'm not an angry person, I don't hate men (au contraire), but the guys who are single at my age seem to have a lot of issues such as too much drinking, their health is ****, sucky demeaner. I know I'm generalizing in a pathetic way, but the "good ones" seem to all be married and are completely under-appreciated by their wives (and vice versa but it's usually the guys I hear this from). The longer a couple is together, the more they seem to diminish each other's desires -- again, in an over-simplistic generalistic way of speaking -- but people who are happily coupled do not realize what a rare thing they have.

[ErikFinn]

This is the times we live. Everything must be received immediately and nothing is never enough. :/

[lancelot9898]

I think a lot of what you perceive as happiness has to do with growing up and observing your parents. My mom and dad were together for 46 years before mom passed. You could not find two people more opposite. Dad loved to hunt and fish and was smart with only a fifth grade education while mom loved to read and did not really participate in the hunting and fishing. Yet they were happy and loved one another. They built a business together with mom handling the details of the paper work and dad enjoyed meeting people one on one. So to me the sailing is not all that important in a mate...hard to put into words since sharing experiences and life and the chemistry all need to be there and maybe that is why it's so difficult to find....but it happens.

[Blue Crab]

Yep. All this angst, and only 25. Let's hear back when yer 35. In the meanwhile, live a little. Have fun.

[honey badger]

Ye goddes. it seems that what we of the yearning heart may need is a bunch of old women. yea all know the type, ones who have seen it all and have had the romanticism of the idea of perfect love and a knight in salt encrusted armour grinded off them like so many barnacles on a newbies oft grounded keel. Before you scream misogynistic bastard I believe these women of the olden days got the match making malarkey right more times than some algorithm worked out by a kid with A
autism in the basement room of his mammas house.

[Leigh62]

Originally Posted by daletournier

It took me many years to workout that a woman expects to be number one in your life but you are number two, three or four in hers depending on the number of children she has, as Weavis said, this is only natural. Once I came to terms with this, life was easier.

I decided that my biggest commitment was to me, my partner is back on the boat after she got of a number of years back, we didn't break up, I just kept cruising and went home now and then to visit. During that time I had a number of different crew and enjoyed my time, both with company and alone.

At some stage my partner will get of again, I know this, the pull of two very young grand children will be to much. Im ok with this and she knows without a doubt I will continue to live my life the way I want to, im not compromising. I chose not to have kids and are not giving up the freedom that comes with that.

I've also made it very clear that if/when she returns home she surpports herself, im not bank rolling her choices. She will get a job.

Deciding to live ones life the way one wants sometimes draws fire from the conservative conventional bunch, I just don't care. Understanding and accepting reality while knowing yourself and being honest to yourself makes life so much easier.

Personally I would never build a long term relationship with a woman that has kids again, it creates a relationship of inequality in many ways, just not for me.

And I do wish some older man explained these truths to me earlier in life.

As a woman with grown children I just had to add my 2 cents. Not every person with children is that way. I met a man recently that committed to a 3 week cruise in the Caribbean and the very first week, his grown son did something stupid and this man went running off and left myself and another person that went to crew with him, high and dry for him to go "rescue" everyone involved. There really was nothing he could do, his son is a problem child and has a child of his own (not married to the mom) so this man that says sailing is his life ran off to "bail" his grown son out of trouble for the umpteenth time. If "I" had known about all this I never would have agreed to go to another country to help crew his boat! Wound up costing me and my friend a lot of unintended expenses. My point here is that it is not a woman issue. As a woman I expect my children to live their own lives and they know I'm going to live mine! I'm not (if they ever decide to have kids) going to be their built in baby sitter, nor am I their safety blanket. Some people live their entire lives for their kids, (but humans are the only ones) and it's not what I want. All animals raise their babies to be independent creatures and that is what I hopefully did. Cell phones and lap tops are amazing at allowing me to live my life and still keep in touch with my 2 boys. If you want a relationship with another person, THAT person should come first. Once your children are grown, your partner should come FIRST. Of course if one of my sons was hospitalized or something horrible happened I would go home. But I don't want a co-dependent relationship with anyone, including my children. (why can't the grandkids come spend some time on the boat?)

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by jenSails

Not that I'm looking for a partner right now, and I'm certainly not advertising, but I'm a single 25y/o trying to become an experienced sailor- though in 50 years I still won't consider myself experienced... anyway, finding a good man who is monogamous, same faith as I, with similar sailing dreams seems to be quite a task! Most folks drink themselves stupid, only want to have sex, and can't find a moral fiber in their body... though, I suppose that's why we have "plenty of fish in the sea"?... I won't give up but I definitely think no matter age or gender, it's difficult ANYWHERE for ANYONE to find that trusted partner...

I think you just did...if you can't find a trusted partner, it might be what you're attracting.

[Rudderless]

Originally Posted by Celestialsailor

I think you just did...if you can't find a trusted partner, it might be what you're attracting.

No, I don't think she's advertising, she's just stating where she is in life as it pertains to the topic.

As far as what she's attracting, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that males aged 15 to 85 are likely to be attracted to a 25 year old woman. How, exactly, is she controlling that? I'm sure it's not an isolated experience for her; if you asked 100 women of that age how easy it is to find a good guy, I'd bet not many would say it's easy. Finding one who also is into sailing further narrows the field, so I don't think she's necessarily wrong. Regardless, it's her right to look for what she wants.

As far as her claim that most of us drink ourselves stupid, that's just not true. A lot of guys simply start off that way

[Jdege]

There is, of course, another option:

People are marrying themselves, it's called 'sologamy'

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by Rudderless

As far as what she's attracting, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that males aged 15 to 85 are likely to be attracted to a 25 year old woman.

Pretty wide brush stating 15-85 wanting a 25 year old. People rarely attract what they want but rather who they are or an ongoing state of trying to process a part of there childhood which remains unresolved.

[jenSails]

Nope, he's right. I've gotten men from the age range of 15-85. Of course I work on a boat that charters to guests between 15-85... so perhaps it's what I'm attracting... but my whole point was that it's difficult for anyone, anywhere to find that perfectly imperfect partner. And also, I said "folks" tend to drink themselves stupid, not men...

[Rudderless]

Originally Posted by Celestialsailor

Pretty wide brush stating 15-85 wanting a 25 year old. People rarely attract what they want but rather who they are or an ongoing state of trying to process a part of there childhood which remains unresolved.

Looks like we shop at the same brush store

[Rudderless]

Originally Posted by jenSails

And also, I said "folks" tend to drink themselves stupid, not men...

I know you weren't specifically targeting men, I was just pointing out that some of us already have a head start.

[Hoosiersailor]

Originally Posted by weavis

Sad really. But we are who we are and I wish her happiness and luck in finding someone who appreciates her grandkids more than I do. I look at them as different sized anchors.

That was hilarious! I almost spit my afternoon coffee all over my computer screen. But giving this some thought, it's really a great analogy.

[1Sunseeker]

Just keep on doing what you like to do and if you are lucky the right one will come along. If he/she does not come along at least you have done the things you like to do. Sail on!!