Traded Wife and House for Boat . . . Now what ?

[sleptic]

Hi,

I woke up a few days after Christmas last year and found a note from my wife informing me that she had moved in with one of my friends. Not just any friend, but my best friend. Oops, I didn't see that one coming. Oh well, such is life. Anyway, after a year of being bitter and angry, I decided to shake things up a bit and pursue a life-long (34 years) dream. I sold my house and I am in the process of buying a 50 foot Beneteau. My plan is to take a year, or two, or three, and sail around the world. I was a rescue worker at the Pentagon on 9/11 and I have had a lot of issues with PTSD and depression since then, so I figure I will use this time to recharge my batteries and hopefully get right in the head. I will have enough money from my home to outfit the boat safely, and I intend on taking enough classes, crew trips etc. to become proficient. I have some sailing experience, but clearly I have a ton to learn before I set off. So here are some questions:

1. What are people's thoughts on a Beneteau 50 for a circumnavigation? I looked at 423 and 473's, but I found a sweet 50 for a great price. I figure it's as big as I can singlehand when necessary, and it's at the upper end of my budget so I wouldn't want to go bigger. And since this is going to be my and my dogs' home for a while, I really don't want to go smaller. Advice before I hand over my deposit?

2. I know it's a bit premature, but what are people's thoughts on East vs. West (route). I would like to leave from the the Eastern US and head west through the canal, then across the pacific etc. But I have heard differing opinions.

3. Best way to become proficient in a relatively short period of time. ASA classes? I want to be responsible and prepared, but I also want to get going as soon as practical.

4. Anyone wanna come with?

5. Is this whole thing a bad idea? Should I just be boring and buy a condo somewhere?

Thanks,

Eric

[Stillraining]

Hey Eric:

I say go for it...but I can tell your smart enough to know being lonely on a sail boat in the middle of the Ocean somewhere might not be a great idea in regards to your depression and PTSD.

If I were in your shoes I would sign up for a passage with the likes of the Neals or someone of there experiance... Mahina Expedition - Offshore Cruising Instruction I think that would be the fastest way to learn...and see how you like it.

Nice boat go for it...Friends of mine did a 2 year trip in a 49 Jeanue..
2006 December » Ruby Slippers » Rard Family Ocean Adventure

[leslie]

Great Idea.

I think 50ft is rather big as a single hander but sure has greater potential to impress the oposite sex in far away places (since your wife is not invited). I would rather get a smaller perhaps 35ft well kitted boat that a 50ft one. In the long run maintenace is a killer on large boats and a full time job for one person. I think a smaller boat is cheaper on the long run as well aas easier on handling in tight spots. Marina costs are lower and draught is not a big constraint. Good luck with your endeavours.

[Hampus]

Good luck and great idea! I agree on the boat being a little too big. I'd go for 35-40 feet. You can always change on the way if you hook up with someone

/Hampus

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by sleptic

Hi,

1. What are people's thoughts on a Beneteau 50 for a circumnavigation? I Eric

Go for it!!

Life is too short for PTSD!

Beneteau 50 is the perfect boat


Mark

[Eleven]

If you buy well and sell well it won't cost that much. Maintenance will and size matters.
Apart from that, GO for it. Join the club of your choice, give your location her and you'll get lots of advice, and make it clear that you'll crew on day/weekenders in exchange for a beer. You've a lot to learn with a boat that big. Certificates will reduce your insurance rates a bit, but so will upping the excess rates since you are only worried about leaving the boat, you'll only need total loss insurance? Or dis-masting whatever. The big things.
Find some-one to do one to one navigation in the classroom. Most of it's obvious stuff but there is a lot to tide tables, currents and FOG that will come in useful and cover the ship to ship stuff with them too.
And spend your spare time trawling through this site, learning to make decisions based on what you know. The hardest part of 'owning' is that you can't afford to make mistakes.
Good Luck, Fella. My brother had the same deal many years ago. She left him for his fellow cruiser who had a bigger boat. He solo'd for six weeks, donated their wedding china to the Indian Ocean. Arrived in Durban and stayed three years. Went back later and married the waitress who helped him get a new perspective on life. Their daughter is 16 now, they had a good life.

[Event_Horizon]

...I'll feel pretty irresponsible if this isn't said so:

PTSD and depression for eight years coupled with the wife just leaving is a bad mental cocktail for solitude and self reliance in potentially life threatening situations. Sailors know that it's not all sunsets and light breeze and you MUST have your wits about you.

Single handing is a bad idea in general. During passages it can be highly taxing emotionally because of sleep deprivation (waking up in very short intervals). People have developed different ways to deal with it but nothing you'd call a full nights rest without adding five days or so to the pacific crossing. Which is more solitude...which is no fun for you or your dog.

That being said, go for it. I'm all for this sort of adventure. Just do thing right, and don't be eager to set out before you're ready, mentally, physically, emotionally....sexually? Things will also be a lot easier and a lot more fun if you have someone along with you, preferably with two legs and less body hair.

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by Event_Horizon

...I'll feel pretty irresponsible if this isn't said so:

PTSD and depression for eight years coupled with the wife just leaving is a bad mental cocktail for solitude and self reliance in potentially life threatening situations. Sailors know that it's not all sunsets and light breeze and you MUST have your wits about you.

Yeah, but (and I don't know nothing about psychology) perhaps cruising being so task orientated it could be of help for someone who has a services/rescue/police type background?

I certainly only have enough time to live in the moment, not dwell back on stuff.
You are right that advice from those that know could help

[Pelagic]

Welcome to CF

Go for it…. by becoming a paying crew on a well found cruising boat of that size or even bigger, so that while you get your sh8t together at sea, you will then know what is right for you and will have made some real sailing friends who can then best advise on the practical side of your present idea.

[Ex-Calif]

I'd go the 42 footer but if you got a sweet deal Nike. (Just Do It)

Life is too short for regrets. Experiencing the terror of 9/11first hand (I had a very good friend in one of the towers who got out.), having your wife leave you for a best friend and suffering from depression are all not good things.

However, life throws lemons make lemonade. Arlo Guthrie did a skit about being the worst off guy ever. The lines were basically, "If you ever think your life is bad, take a look at someone else's life. There is always someone worse off. Except the last guy. Can you imagine being the last guy? Nobody has it worse than the last guy. He doesn't even have any friends. And if he had a friend he doesn't even have a dime to call his friend. And if he had a dime, he wouldn't be the last guy any more."

Take the dog, the dog is loyal and provides unconditional love. You won't be able to shore him (legally) in many places but you will have an adventure.

For the east to west advice - MarkJ is the perfect guy to get to know.

Did I mention I'd go the 42 footer?

(Did anyone expect different poll results on a cruising forum - LOL)

[sailingaway221]

Saw this yesterday and it seemed relevant.

YouTube - LOOK AT YOURSELF AFTER WATCHING THIS.mp4

AS for the wife..... all Im going to say is buy the boat ..... point that boat at Brazil.... I hear the beautiful climate there will help you to a speedy and unforgettable recovery....


As for the boat..unless you have 3 or 4 people going with you no one will insure you in a 50 foot beneteau...Personally after a year and a half living on my boat....smaller is better...cheaper.....easier to handle....not to mention much easier to maintaina and keep cleanish....single handing a fifty footer in bad weather or if things are going bad is not easy for anyone.

[Dockhead]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Yeah, but (and I don't know nothing about psychology) perhaps cruising being so task orientated it could be of help for someone who has a services/rescue/police type background?

I certainly only have enough time to live in the moment, not dwell back on stuff.
You are right that advice from those that know could help

I totally agree with this. I can't think of anything better to straighten your mind out than to be busy and challenged, particularly in an immediatel physical kind of way. I say go for it.

I also agree about the boat. Good choice and not too big at all.

[Eleven]

If there was a poll on boat size, well you can see what folks are saying. Anything from around 28ft upwards is a do-able. Add a few feet for every one you hope will join you on a leg or so. My 31ft Cat is extravagant for one, nice for two, a bit crowded for four but copes with six. And look at other marine related stuff. Sub-aqua for example, in the right waters is a great hobby, in the right marina is a good earner / friend maker.
I've had several set backs, it takes me two years before I'm ready for a new person. Don't expect miracles, just keep walking around corners with your eyes shut.

[Talbot]

I am sorry for the loss of your friend!

seriously, still having the house and thus the funds to do the "Sell up and Sail" bit, should be considered as very lucky

I did the overnight diet where I got rid of 120 ibs of useless fat 3 years ago, and have still not got the finances agreed, but one thing is certain, I will not be ending up with the house!

[MarkJ]

If I had the dollars the smallest I would go is the Beneteau 473, 2 cabin version.
That boat rocks! The lazarette is huge, its a full size walk in from behind the galley with a small door, right aft inder the seats on the S side to the aft bit down the back blunt end of the sterny thingo.

Great boats!

And I'd learn on one. Its probably like anything with size attached its what you get used to. certainly a 47 would be nicer at sea than anything in the 30's


Mark