Yelling and Screaming!

[fuentes]

I am a Catholic School survivor! I remember the Nuns telling us to say "oh my goodness gracious" instead of cussing. I am sorry sister. Bur trying to say that when I just hit my finger with a hammer just does not cut it! That was about 65 years ago. I still remember what they said. It still does not work!

[barnakiel]

It would be a noble aim, to let go all frustration and stop cursing / yelling. But this is perhaps an exercise only for the few. And the goal is achieved by only very few of those few ...

I think, in practical terms, it is more like:

- if you see someone yelling at their partner / family / strangers: report and control, avoid casualties due to your inaction,

- if you yell, do something about it, (consult an anger management therapist, if you cannot handle it on your own),

Osmosis can be treated. So can anger. Results depend on how bad the case is and how serious our attempt at the repair is.

Yes, we can. Naysayers are likely just justifying their own problem. All AA members claim they have no drinking problem, and then they join the club.

b.

[Badsanta]

Yes, you must want to change. But Most don't understand that they need too. Keep leading through intemidation. This is supposed to be fun, an adventure. Enjoy. Do things really happen that fast, are you that upset because I didn't do it your way? I dont sail with racers. I really don't care that I lost 2 knots on that last tack. This is supposed to be enjoyable for all on board. How many ever come back aboard? Ok not everybody has experiance, either crew or captain. A club I belonged to all the crew had a black list of captain's not to sail with. When I moved up to skipper they had a black list of crew to avoid. Goes both ways. I do understand. I'm sure I was on both lists. Lol

[builder dan]

Hi Ted my wife cant and doesnt want to learn to sail suits me as I have been single handing for 30 odd years and have my own way of doing things,If I fell over the side I dont know what would happen better if I dont eh lol

[JanetGroene]

Early on, agree on hand signals. This isn't just about screaming at your crew. it's about making a braying ass of yourself in front of any onlookers.

[hellosailor]

Janet, on behalf of the Screenwriters' Guild of America, I can assure you that it takes many hours of skilled thought, discourse, and trials to get the precise scripting for those "braying asses" ready for prime time. If you start encouraging quiet rational educated behavior like hand signals, we're going to have a very hard time finding enough sign language interpreters to ensure the hand signals carry the same impact that the braying does. And, that will add another step and more costs to the Closed Captioning process to ensure the ASL-impaired dockwatchers can still get the full benefit of the dialog.


So please, when you suggest that people consider rational behavior, remember the tremendous negative impacts and huge costs this will incur on the dockside entertainment industry! Everyone, even the bartenders, will suffer as the dockwatchers are burdened by these changes and slow down their drinking.


(WEG)

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by JanetGroene

This isn't just about screaming at your crew. it's about making a braying ass of yourself in front of any onlookers.

I scream a LOT.

My problem is I single hand so onlookers...

[Capt Phil]

The best comeback at a screaming skipper I ever heard was back in the early 60's in Snug Cove on Bowen Island outside of Vancouver, BC. I had anchored in that peaceful part of the world enjoying a sundowner when a power boat entered the small anchorage. There were about 4-5 sailboats anchored there so we were all interested how this guy in his big sports fisher was going to get his hook down. The boat had one of the early very high tuna towers about 3 levels above deck level from where the skipper was driving. Fully equipped with a PA system you could hear 20 miles away he proceeded to give his wife/girlfriend/partner quiet instruction on when and where to drop his anchor. We all watch with rapt attention as he headed towards shore and slowed to a stop. Over his PA system came the voice, "ready?" The wife on the bow waved and he said, "Drop Anchor."
She complied and out the chain rattled. He then said,"Snub Chain." Which she did. The backward motion of his vessel didn't even pause. He instructed his companion,"Raise Anchor." And up she came. This was repeated 4(!) times to the great amusement of the whole anchorage. Even some ashore were watching and listening to the performance.
After each unsuccessful attempt with the patient woman dutifully obeying each command to the letter, the skipper by this time was screaming his orders at the top of his lungs through his PA system. Finally, after the fourth or fifth attempt he hollered,"Get that G.D. Anchor Up!" She turned around with her hands on her hips, flipped him the bird and said in a very loud voice,"F*ck you, get it yourself!" And stormed into the cabin to the standing applause from everyone in the anchorage and on shore. He climbed down from his perch, retrieved his anchor and left the little harbor never to be seen again.
I will remember that scene until my dying day! Phil

[socaldmax]

Some cheap VHF/UHF radios (Baofeng UV5R, for example) that come with earpieces can go a long way towards keeping crew communications quiet and civil. As for frustration, some people need to learn that a lot of times things don't go right and we need to deal with it calmly like an adult.

[Sea Frog]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Some cheap VHF/UHF radios (Baofeng UV5R, for example) that come with earpieces can go a long way towards keeping crew communications quiet and civil. As for frustration, some people need to learn that a lot of times things don't go right and we need to deal with it calmly like an adult.

Yeah, and they make you look super cool, especially if everybody on the boat wear these black suits and shades...

But seriously, these Baofeng are not too good choice - they are simplex. I would rather try one of the full duplex bluetooth headsets for bikers.

[MarkSF]

Originally Posted by fuentes

I am a Catholic School survivor! I remember the Nuns telling us to say "oh my goodness gracious" instead of cussing. I am sorry sister. Bur trying to say that when I just hit my finger with a hammer just does not cut it! That was about 65 years ago. I still remember what they said. It still does not work!

I have no problem with swearing under the right circumstances (and hitting your finger with a hammer is definitely one of them...) but so often these days swearing is used so much it loses any emphasis, often as a substitute for genuine wit and to hide a limited vocabulary.

You see it on TVs and movies... I guess they think, we've got a "mature" certificate, might as well use "f***" every other word, and we'll be all grown up and edgy.

[hellosailor]

I have no problem with swearing, after all, "Cuss like a sailor" has been around long enough to warn off the nannies.


What I find objectionable is the boring and repetitive nature of so much of the cussing. A friend of mine went to Columbia U. back when they still had weekly maid service to "keep the young gentlemens' rooms in order and change the linens" and he was impressed that their stout old-school Irish maid would come around every Monday morning, look at the weekend's disarray, and spend the next 45 minutes wile she was working, cursing furiously in Gaelic and never once repeating a single word of it. (She wouldn't curse in English, not in front of the young gentlemen!)


Curses these days...folks just have no imagination, creativity, or pride in their choice of curse words.

[Badsanta]

Ok, I'll give. Yes I have yelled though I thought I was just raising my voice, but it did happen. The times that it happened, I was unprepared and I did not prep my crew as to what I needed and expected. Lack of planning on my part does not constitute an emergency on their part. Plan, be alert, advise and follow through. Raised voices not needed.

[minaret]

Originally Posted by hellosailor

I have no problem with swearing, after all, "Cuss like a sailor" has been around long enough to warn off the nannies.


What I find objectionable is the boring and repetitive nature of so much of the cussing. A friend of mine went to Columbia U. back when they still had weekly maid service to "keep the young gentlemens' rooms in order and change the linens" and he was impressed that their stout old-school Irish maid would come around every Monday morning, look at the weekend's disarray, and spend the next 45 minutes wile she was working, cursing furiously in Gaelic and never once repeating a single word of it. (She wouldn't curse in English, not in front of the young gentlemen!)


Curses these days...folks just have no imagination, creativity, or pride in their choice of curse words.

I take exception to that! My curses can curdle milk. I don't shout, but many times I've seen people back slowly away when they realize what it is I'm mumbling under my breath!

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by minaret

I take exception to that! My curses can curdle milk. I don't shout, but many times I've seen people back slowly away when they realize what it is I'm mumbling under my breath!

Since I am fortunatel enough to be able to course in several languages, I don't have to repeat myself for the first couple of minutes