Dating while sailing

[PamKurtz]

Hello,
I’m a single female sailboat owner/live aboard that actually sails her boat. Suggestions on dating apps?
Pam

[skipmac]

Hi Pam and welcome to the forum.

I believe there is still a singles section here. You might check that out.

Otherwise it might depend on where you're located. Assume the US but this forum is international so you might be anywhere.

And considering the number of posts on Cruiser's Forum from single sailors over the years (mostly male but a few other single female sailors as well), just your intro here might be sufficient to generate a virtual flood of replies.

[PamKurtz]

Thank you. Yes. Northern California.
Feel free to link me to the single sailors section as well.
I’m still navigating Cruisers forum so am happy for the help.
Thank again Pam

[Adelie]

Welcome.

I would suggest updating your profile with your general location and your boat make & model or “Looking” in the "Boat" category. This info shows up under your UserName in every post in the web view. Many questions are boat and/or location dependent and having these tidbits under your UserName saves answering those questions repeatedly. If you need help setting up your profile then click on this link: https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...ml#post3308797

I would happily help more if the link above is not enough.

[Joh.Ghurt]

Originally Posted by PamKurtz

Hello,
I’m a single female sailboat owner/live aboard that actually sails her boat. Suggestions on dating apps?
Pam

Hello Pam,

unpopular as it seems, dating apps aren't really a great option to find a partner for anything beyond a quick romp between the sheets. If you want something more durable, your investment in time is better spent on meeting people face to face. If you can't make this effort or don't have time for it, you'll probably won't be ready or have time for a meaningful relationship either.

Sure, you can swipe while you're sitting on the pot, but in the end, you'll end up with mostly disappointing results.

This is the gist of the experience of a bunch of female friends, who entertain me with their online-dating experiences. And women still have it easier than men, because at least they still have the choice of options. For the vast majority of men, online-dating is a total waste of time only gives a vague hope something might appear.

Oh, and in case you're one of the people having trouble to make contact with new people, don't worry. If you can learn to sail a boat, you're also able to learn to smile, be friendly and try to take interest in a stranger. It won't work all the time, but it works often enough to make it worthwhile.

[Dogscout]

Originally Posted by Joh.Ghurt

Hello Pam,

unpopular as it seems, dating apps aren't really a great option to find a partner for anything beyond a quick romp between the sheets. If you want something more durable, your investment in time is better spent on meeting people face to face. If you can't make this effort or don't have time for it, you'll probably won't be ready or have time for a meaningful relationship either.

Sure, you can swipe while you're sitting on the pot, but in the end, you'll end up with mostly disappointing results.

This is the gist of the experience of a bunch of female friends, who entertain me with their online-dating experiences. And women still have it easier than men, because at least they still have the choice of options. For the vast majority of men, online-dating is a total waste of time only gives a vague hope something might appear.

Oh, and in case you're one of the people having trouble to make contact with new people, don't worry. If you can learn to sail a boat, you're also able to learn to smile, be friendly and try to take interest in a stranger. It won't work all the time, but it works often enough to make it worthwhile.

That may be the worst post that I have ever read on a sailing forum.

Telling a woman who asked specifically about dating apps, that they dont work for other than a 1 night stand, then telling her that she needs to learn to smile and be friendly. Every point you have made is nothing but aping a stereo type. Women still have it easier then men, Online dating is a waste of time. etc.

[Tetepare]

Depends on what you want. Tinder for quick hookups. Eharmony for longer relationships. Christian websites may provide a higher caliber of people.

I met my wife on match.com. I was perusing the search function while thinking about my boat, and accidentally punched in the zip code of the small resort town where the marina is instead of my home zip code.

So her profile came up, and she was on a sailboat. No bikini pics, no drunk pics. And a photo of her kayaks! The real clincher was a photo of her on a large rock with only water behind her, no characteristics to reveal the location. Being a dumb and naiave male, I sent a truly innocuous message (duh I’m on a dating website) telling her I know where that rock is and how much my daughter and i love to hike that spot. And it went from there.

Thing is, I’ve spent my entire life in that small town. Her family had a boat, and cottage there. Undoubtedly we’d crossed paths but never met. So the dating website, and my inattention while thinking of my boat led to us finally meeting when years of fate had failed!

[Joh.Ghurt]

Originally Posted by Dogscout

That may be the worst post that I have ever read on a sailing forum.

Telling a woman who asked specifically about dating apps, that they dont work for other than a 1 night stand, then telling her that she needs to learn to smile and be friendly. Every point you have made is nothing but aping a stereo type. Women still have it easier then men, Online dating is a waste of time. etc.

Nice to hear that dating apps work great for you. My experience and that of most other people - men and women - around me is rather less thrilling.

Perhaps you could add some sage advice which dating app is the best path to happiness?

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by Joh.Ghurt

Nice to hear that dating apps work great for you. My experience and that of most other people - men and women - around me is rather less thrilling.

Perhaps you could add some sage advice which dating app is the best path to happiness?

Member of my immediate family met the spouse on a dating app. Also have a number of friends that have established long term relationships online. Yes there are plenty of apps that are for hook ups but there are also plenty of apps and websites that focus on long term relationships. Just have to choose your poison.

Being married for 42 years don't use them so can't say from personal experience which is which but not that hard to figure out.

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by PamKurtz

Thank you. Yes. Northern California.
Feel free to link me to the single sailors section as well.
I’m still navigating Cruisers forum so am happy for the help.
Thank again Pam

Hi Pam,

Could not quickly locate the discussion on cruising singles but found a number of discussions on dating, single sailors, etc.

If you look at the menu bar at the top of the screen just under the Cruiser's Forum logo, towards the right is a "Search" option. Several ways to search but if you use the key word "dating" a dozen or more threads pop up.

Alternatively, if you hang out around marinas, mooring fields and anywhere other boats congregate you will certainly encounter a plethora of single men. In the small marina where I'm currently docked I've met three single sailors and have only met a small fraction of the owners.

[redhead]

Welcome Pam -

After reading your post the first thing that came to mind is that you're overthinking this, and let me tell you why.

Having lived aboard for 7+ years now I can almost promise you that if you have a hello, a smile and are able to talk about sailing and boats you will never be alone, except by choice. I absolutely hate categorizing people, but the majority of women on boats are pleasing their husbands either whole heartedly or passive aggressively. When boaters meet a woman who loves it, doesn't care who knows it - they kinda line up, if you know what I mean.

Now I'm married, approaching my "sell-by" date and been told quite a lot that my men friends envy my mate and would give just about anything to meet a woman that loves all things ocean and boat-y, someone to have a conversation about navigation or bilge pumps with.

So, I say, sail in, find a gathering place near the water and smile, I'm almost positive they'll find you. Hope to see you out there!

[Sam Woodbridge]

I think the singles section on these forums is actually really quiet. I’m a member but haven’t noticed many new posts.

Hmm good luck Pam. I know how it feels to want to get involved with someone else. I’ve tried dating sites and I’m neutral with them.

But I would recommend getting onto this sites single group and read through the last year or two of the posts. Your going to have get accepted or get permission from a moderator. Let dig around and find this person name for you.

Send Zeehag a private message and that person will help you get into the singles section of the forums.

[MicHughV]

It's all a throw of the dice....dating apps...websites...bars....grocery stores....your neighbor...pure chance...who knows when or where or why mr. or mrs. right comes along.
It's probably fair to say that most every man or woman on this planet has had a number of dud dates, relationships, marriages, etc..before meeting "The" one..

Much like fishing....you can spend a lot of money on a boat, gear, gadgets, but you end up throwing your bait in the water, often at great expense, but not knowing what is down there nor knowing which fish will take your offering. Some fish are thrown back, some too big...some too small...others not the right type...sometimes no fish will take your bait despite your best efforts, but on occasion some are caught and eaten...

[Dogscout]

Originally Posted by Joh.Ghurt

Nice to hear that dating apps work great for you. My experience and that of most other people - men and women - around me is rather less thrilling.

Perhaps you could add some sage advice which dating app is the best path to happiness?

Met my wife on Match.com Great 2 years of dating and 12 years of marriage. We went our separate ways due to issues related to my need to travel and her need to stay close to family.

I dont regret any of it.

[Adelie]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...tml#post710536