The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[jeanathon]

Originally Posted by SailRN

Just a FYI:


There was another posting, since removed, between Montanan's Eagles joke at 1107 EST and the ill-defined response at 1401 EST by sirzones.


The removed posting was something about the first snowfall in a valley in Montana...


Sirzones was not clear in the posting as to what made "no sense", and I have no idea what was meant.

Ah.... Never heard a joke about snowfall in Montana. Sounds coldhearted.

[Montanan]

Originally Posted by SailRN

Just a FYI:


There was another posting, since removed, between Montanan's Eagles joke at 1107 EST and the ill-defined response at 1401 EST by sirzones.


The removed posting was something about the first snowfall in a valley in Montana...


Sirzones was not clear in the posting as to what made "no sense", and I have no idea what was meant.

Indeed as posted it was non-sensical. So reposting as to the late season snow giving me reason to think of warmed seats in my Suburban, my connection to the CF failed as the meme was being uploaded. So second time around.

Stay frosty.

[Montanan]

Originally Posted by jeanathon

Ah.... Never heard a joke about snowfall in Montana. Sounds coldhearted.

So you haven't heard a joke about snowfall in Montana, well how about I show you some instead.

[SailRN]

Originally Posted by Montanan

Indeed as posted it was non-sensical. So reposting as to the late season snow giving me reason to think of warmed seats in my Suburban, my connection to the CF failed as the meme was being uploaded. So second time around.

Stay frosty.

We call them "Bun Warmers"...

[Montanan]

Let it snow. . .

[Montanan]

One more for the road.

Before moving to Montana 32 years ago, I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Never have used snow chains in our 406 Country.

[SailRN]

Montanan is correct about the snow in the south. Here in South Carolina if there's even a hint of snow then schools are canceled, government offices are closed, and many private companies either close or have late openings.


However, while I was working in North Dakota in January once I called home and found there had been a snow overnight there in South Carolina. And all the Yankees in the state were making fun of the Southerners staying home and off the roads. However, the news turned out that most of the cars pulled out of ditches had northern tags on them... There is no salt for the roads, or snowplows. The asphalt is warm and the snow first melts on contact, then freezes as ice, and no salt is applied to melt the ice, so Southerners know to stay off of Southern roads after a snow.


But a little patience helps, the snow and ice doesn't last long, so when it's safe to go on the roads we wave at all the "visitors" in the ditches as we pass by. Bless their hearts.

[Midnight Son]

Originally Posted by Montanan

So you haven't heard a joke about snowfall in Montana, well how about I show you some instead.

#3 of 4 was me last winter digging out of the 8 foot total snow fall. This year we are already at 1 1/2', a little every other day. Sigh.

[jeanathon]

Here in the mountains of N.C. we get a lot of midwesterners who cannot deal with a hairpin turn on dry pavement, but when we get a little snow these same people make fun that the school buses won't run on the 8% grade road with 2 in of snow on it.
You can always tell these drivers by the straight grooves they leave in the snow before going over the bank. You got to let off the brake, cut the wheel hard, and hit the gas if you want your truck to go around the curve downhill in the snow.
Since we are on the gross subject of the white stuff.
Monday: 5:00PM. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful. So relaxing and peaceful.
Tuesday: We woke up to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it! I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.
Wednesday: It snowed an additional 5 inched last night and the temperature dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees snapped due to weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. I wonder about that guy. Why's he always smiling?
Thursday: Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which turned to ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 for the emergency room visit but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.
Friday: Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4X4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of white **** last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today, smiling bastard.
Saturday: 2 degrees outside. More ****ing snow. Not a tree or shrub on the property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night and some pipes burst in the basement. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put out the flames but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost my eyebrows. Brand new 4X4 slid on the ice on way to the emergency room and was totaled.
Sunday: Goddamn mother-****in' **** keeps coming down. Have to put on all clothes we own just to get to the ****in' mailbox. I think the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100MPH, grinning from ear to ear, and buries our driveway again. ****in' *******! If I ever catch him I'll shove a cane pole up his ass and mount him in the front yard as a warning to the next snowplow driver! Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.
Monday: Six goddamn more ****in' inches of ****in' snow and ****in' ice and god knows what other kink of white ****in' **** fell last night. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. I wounded the ****in' snowplow ******* with an ice ax but he got away. More ****in' snow predicted. Wind chill minus 35 ****in' degrees. I'm going back to North Carolina!

[Sirzones]

Originally Posted by Sirzones

That made no sense👎

Eagles joke was awesome👍
I was looking at another joke on first page about a rabbit walking into a bar

[Jamme]

[Jamme]

[Jamme]

[CaptTom]

Originally Posted by jeanathon

...I think the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street...

This was me, in my 20's.

I was convinced the plow driver waited down the road until I finished shoveling, and took WAY too much pleasure in plowing my driveway back in again. One morning I fooled him and left early. Sure enough, he was just around the bend, parked idling on a side street, presumably waiting for me to finish.

Another time I waited at the end of my driveway, shovel in hand, when he made his run. He knocked me flat on my butt with the snow, barely missing me with the plow. Damn he was good. Probably flipping him the bird didn't help my case.

I'm older and wiser now. Plow drivers get a smile and a friendly wave. With all five fingers. You really don't want to piss them off!

[SailRN]

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