The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[MicHughV]

little Johnie and little Mary were playing in the park
After a while, they started bragging about stuff...
Johnie " our house is bigger than your house"
Mary " our car is bigger than you car...."

This went on for some time, until in frustration, Johnie dropped his drawers and said " well, I got one of these and you don't !!"
Mary knew this to be true, and ran home crying.

The following day, Mary met Johnie in the streets and dropped her knickers and told Johnie ' well, my mother says I have one of these, and with one of these, I can have all of those I want !"

[Montanan]

As to these Ethnic jokes.

Just substitute a Yankee American for any and all of the countries, given the USA's fundamental immigrant population, you will have covered the entire planet with just one reference to a country, thereby retaining political correctness.



Said an ethnic mutt [i.e., of mixed ancestry] living in Montana as a non-native on the Flathead Reservation of the Confederated Salish and Kootenai Tribes.

And given this is the CruiserForum, when stating "Yankee", I was not referring to a large jib set forward of a staysail in light winds.

[IslandHopper]

When you see a roach crawling on the table.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYK1pMFqbbY&t=28s

[Joh.Ghurt]

Originally Posted by ArmyDaveNY

-Why is the Austrian flag Red, White, Red?
-So they can't fly it upside down!

Those Austrian jokes became quite popular in Switzerland in the early 80ies. One of the better ones was:

- What's the Defense plan of the Swiss Army in case Austria tries to invade Switzerland?
- Oh, we don't worry about this, the Boyscout group of Buchs (a border town with Austria) takes care of this scenario.

Back to the quoted joke above with the flag:

When a Swiss told you the above joke with the flag, Swiss got silent really quickly, when you ask them if they realise that Switzerland is the only country world-wide that has a fully symmetric flag.

[GordMay]

[double u]

Originally Posted by Joh.Ghurt

...
When a Swiss told you the above joke with the flag, Swiss got silent really quickly, when you ask them if they realise that Switzerland is the only country world-wide that has a fully symmetric flag.

...had this sweet moment more than 30 years ago when working in Switzerland & somebody came up with the "Austrian-flag-"joke""...!

[OldManMirage]

Originally Posted by IslandHopper

When you see a roach crawling on the table.

OMG. I don't even know where to start....

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by IslandHopper

When you see a roach crawling on the table.

I am also gabberflasted

[dfelsent]

Told to me somewhere on de sout coast —-

What’s Black and Blue and found floating face down in St Johns’ Harbor?

A Mainlander caught telling Newfie jokes.

[HopCar]

For all you sailors, it’s time to see the light.
This cartoon was drawn by Darrell McClure and published in Yachting magazine in the fifties, I think. He was a customer in my family’s marine store when he lived in South Florida.

[carlosproa]

[Buzzman]

The age old stand-by in UK/AUS jokes are the Irish, and to a lesser extent the Kiwis...

What's black and frizzled and hangs from Irish light sockets?

An Irish electrician.


What's his name?

Sean D'Leer.....

[chrisr]

oh kiwi jokes ! at last...

"did you know it was a kiwi who invented velcro ?"
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"yep...the sheep were starting to recognise the sound of the zip"



cheers,

[Buzzman]

Ahhh, Chris, you naughty, naughty man.... NFOMCL


Did you know that 'velcro' is a portmanteau of the words 'velour' and 'crochet' - the one side being velour, and the other bristling with microscopic hooks shaped like a crochet hook....

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

Did you know that 'velcro' is a portmanteau of the words 'velour' and 'crochet' - the one side being velour, and the other bristling with microscopic hooks shaped like a crochet hook....

Almost. It's a French portmanteau (the inventor was Swiss)
Just hook shaped, not related to a crochet hook.

velour (French) = velvet (English)
crochet (French) = hook (English)

They are actually shaped like the hooked spines on the burdock burs that gave the inventor the idea.