Liveaboard Dating

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by zeehag

just a note to those of you who choose to CATEGORIZE anyone, especially women....IS NO WONDER YOU ALWAYS BITCH ABOUT WOMEN--YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WOMEN. i am surprised you can even THINK about dating--you have no social skills. by keeping these mindsets, you will NOT EVER find a female with whom to cruise.
get real. find a real woman. they-er-WE do exist--you just have to put out the energy and have the motivation and OPEN MINDS to find us. we do not need you--you need us. we will not seek you out--you must find us. we will not faun over your boat--we each have our own. you must make yourself indispensible. rofl. goood luck.

errrrr....the name Serena sounds a bit on the female side to me......

Just sayin'

[Lotustrbo]

I will have to say, that I never had a problem dating while I lived aboard my yacht. People usually where hesitant at first but then when they got aboard they didn't want to leave. It's important that you're happy and if you're happy you will find someone that will be happy with you.

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by zeehag

just a note to those of you who choose to CATEGORIZE anyone, especially women....IS NO WONDER YOU ALWAYS BITCH ABOUT WOMEN--YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WOMEN. i am surprised you can even THINK about dating--you have no social skills. by keeping these mindsets, you will NOT EVER find a female with whom to cruise.
get real. find a real woman. they-er-WE do exist--you just have to put out the energy and have the motivation and OPEN MINDS to find us. we do not need you--you need us. we will not seek you out--you must find us. we will not faun over your boat--we each have our own. you must make yourself indispensible. rofl. goood luck.

Hi Zee - You are one of my CF heroes but you might be a bit off-target throwing your shoe at Serena - She might know something about women - LOL...

Here's are some things that are rattling around in my head...

- Something must be wrong with most sailor men. There are a good number of single (sailor) women seeking men (apparently) and plenty of single sailor men - so in this target rich environment you'd think finding a sailor man would be easy - hence I think there is something about sailor men that turns some gals off...

(maybe its that story - Men are like parking spaces. The good ones are taken and the available ones are handicapped.)

- There must be something wrong with most sailor gals. With so many single men around you think they would have all been gobbled up...

(maybe the single ones have an axe to grind about men or smell like barnacles - I have no idea)

Interesting dichotomy, no?

Jassen - The sailing world is a tough place to find women. It is a male rich environment. It's totally possible to find Ms. Right but you just gotta understand the odds make it tougher.

For the giggity-giggity I would say get into the racing scene. In total sexist mode it is still a male rich environment but the gals that compete are usually fit and sporty and the single ones are usually "fun loving." Regatta parties can get wild, and while I am not saying I have, I have observed many Regatta "hook-ups."

For the "long term" romance I would still hang out at Regattas. I know many couples that met while sailing in races.

If you are a boater, certainly hanging out at TGIF on Friday night is not likely to yield a compatible soul...

OTOH - To attract the more "bubbly head" types get a power boat. Fair warning though - Sailor Chicks are way better than "bow decorations."

And here is my final Tanqueray Bubble for today.

- What's the deal with "apologizing" for my live-aboard boat being too small to entertain in?

If you can only afford to live in a sub-30 foot boat your apartment, house or trailer prior to living on the boat was probably crap also.

My current plan is to move from my 1400 square foot apartment onto a ~42 foot cat. I don't see much apologizing happening in my future. The cats on my list are way nicer than my current appartment - LOL...

[ArtM]

Originally Posted by Lotustrbo

I will have to say, that I never had a problem dating while I lived aboard my yacht. People usually where hesitant at first but then when they got aboard they didn't want to leave. It's important that you're happy and if you're happy you will find someone that will be happy with you.

I hope you won't take offense, Lotus, but I doubt anyone would hesitate to come aboard a 108 ft yacht, and I don't find it at all surprising that they would not want to leave. I wouldn't leave if you invited me aboard!

I'm not sure what Jassen is getting, but I myself once had a 34' sailboat which I lived aboard - but only 4 days a week. I would have enjoyed living alone on that boat, but have a hard time thinking that a woman could see herself living aboard it with me - and let's face it, a woman on a date is usually seeing herself living with you.

This is why I'm trying to find a way to commit myself to a half million dollar yacht instead of a $30k boat - a want a boat that any woman can imagine herself aboard.

[ArtM]

Originally Posted by Jassen

As for the Russian dating sites...I hate to admit, but I've actually done that before, and was far from impressed. Most of them are ripoffs, some more than others (DreamMarriage.com - worst experience with a company ever!).

My personal preferences tend to run much more Asian in nature.

Two things:
1) I've met a number of sailors who have met their wives in the Philippines or similar areas. In those areas, sailing and the sea are an integral part of their culture. Also, there are many areas with such intense poverty that even a tiny modern sailboat will be considered attractive and comfortable.
Also, there are websites dedicated to eastern women wanting to date western men. See my comments below for ideas on how to avoid the scam artists.

2) I'd be interested in your opinion of womenrussia.com. At the least, it is filled with interesting articles.
Also, if you have a continuing interest, I suggest looking for the "back-end" of the websites. I did this once years ago. The idea is to find the website that is advertising this service to the women in Russia. This will CLEARLY show you the motivation of the girls on the site. The one I found (sorry, I don't have the reference) was very much on the up-and-up, and gave excellent advice to the women on how to engage with an American man (more interesting articles). The russian sites are in russion, but can be translated automatically by most web browsers or search engines.

If I remember, I think I searched for links (in Google) to the website of interest (i.e. "womenrussia.com"), then looked for one with Cyrillic lettering. This was the website that recruited the women for the site.

3) All dating websites - even the popular American ones - use fake or inactive profiles to attract male customers. They are mixed in with the real, active profiles. You can learn to recognize them as you gain experience with the site.

[Irish rambler]

Jeez I wish I'dve met that Inquisitive gal earlier ! ! I was single for years working to get the money sorted to sail off into the sunset and tried the dating agency's, once I mentioned living on a boat I got the body swerve. I spent over £3,000 on adverts, nearly got my knees blown off, raped under a security carpark camera, tangled with a couple of other users and nutters and still I sailed away alone. Don't give up though, there are still some of those very special ladies out there, I've since met a French lady sailor by accident when cruising to Spain and we're still together and will be for the forseable future.
Good Luck and don't be disheartened, she's out there waiting for you somewhere.

[Doodles]

Originally Posted by ArtM

Two things:
1) I've met a number of sailors who have met their wives in the Philippines or similar areas. In those areas, sailing and the sea are an integral part of their culture.

No, in Thailand sailing and the sea is not part of the culture. Most Thai's can't afford it and have no interest in boating, but they are very interested in Western men. Also known as ATM machines.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Doodles

No, in Thailand sailing and the sea is not part of the culture. Most Thai's can't afford it and have no interest in boating, but they are very interested in Western men. Also known as ATM machines.

You think too mutt .

In much (all?!) of Asia living on the water is associated with poverty. But that easy to dispel if you are not so afflicted - just that few of the locals will have any dreams of floating around 24/7......but folks can get used to stuff.

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

You think too mutt .

In much (all?!) of Asia living on the water is associated with poverty. But that easy to dispel if you are not so afflicted - just that few of the locals will have any dreams of floating around 24/7......but folks can get used to stuff.

I'm with Art and DoJ on this.

It is surprising how many Asians can't even swim. Couple this with the fact that the "wealthy" ones are hung up on looking "white" - a plethora of skin whitening cremes and potions exist - creates an aversion to being in the sun.

Coastal folks and fishing villages are another matter but, yes, these tend to be the "poor" folks which in itself is somewhat relative.

And while I am at it, the stereotype of the submissive, passive asian woman is bs. They come with all the same baggage as anyone else and finally, do not forget, marry the wife you marry the life.

I have a buddy who just headed back from vacation because grandpa died. New tickets, a rental car and a 7 hour drive to the Cambodian border to cremate pops...

I know tons of guys with failed asian relationships. I have nursed many expat famillies through breakups, "the other woman" followed by a failed asian relationship.

It can be very bad and very messy.

OTOH I know many committed and successful asian relationships. The thing is the successful ones look just like western ones...

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

And while I am at it, the stereotype of the submissive, passive asian woman is bs. They come with all the same baggage as anyone else and finally, do not forget, marry the wife you marry the life..................I know tons of guys with failed asian relationships. I have nursed many expat famillies through breakups, "the other woman" followed by a failed asian relationship.

It can be very bad and very messy.

Good advice about marrying the wife and the life (mine was an orphan - am pretty certain that wasn't down to her. pretty certain ). If she wasn't self supporting before you met / her family relied upon her as a source of income - that probably (aka definately!) won't change after you get on the scene. Not to say that always wrong to do, but for some "F#ck off" can be the hardest thing to say .

I used to be a regular on a couple of Forums that also covered a multiple of sins in that part of the world ....as well as the real life end of things. Some folks can lead very "interesting" lives - and often enough with some fellas kinda like watching a slow motion car-wreck ("grab a chair guys, we've got a live one here!" ).

Treat 'em like people (of the female persuasion) and acquire one with the same care that you would do with a boat and the results will broadly be the same. Some boats are keepers, some are not - and some are money pits that will break your heart....and some will be dead in water within 6 months , albeit in my case after the thick end of a decade of "sea trials" .

[southace]

It is a great topic, I have been heart broken for many months over a Latino mermaid I met and spent 2 years of my life with partly living aboard together and many hours email international,but this came to a crushing end leaving me alone with just my yacht and work. I have tried hard for many months to find company again,it just is not ment to be. I need to set sails and move on,it worked once before. But the answer to your question yes dating can be hard when u live as a sea gypsy!

[hblask]

As someone who is 1. married and 2. not on the water yet, I just have to say that the complaints in this thread about the difficulty of dating on the sea are *exactly* the same as ones that people on land make. There's always an excuse on both land and sea why each case is especially difficult.

I think the same advice applies to both: first, be a human.....

By that, I mean, be a human, not "someone looking for a dating": live your life, enjoy what you do and do what you enjoy. If you do that, and romance is what you want, romance will find a way.

[virginia boy]

For those who seem to have trouble finding a date I'll offer my thoughts.

Dating is analogous to buying/selling a boat. A seller (you) places a value on the boat and attempts to find a buyer who agrees with his valuation. As is often the case, a seller may be completely unrealistic. He sees his boat as a sleek racer twenty years younger than it is, when in reality it's a wide beamed behemoth, with missing or bad teak, engine trouble and clogged fuel lines, plumbing only sometimes works, and the rigging is suspect.

Most of the time, the seller eventually realizes he has been a bit unrealistic and lowers his expectations to match the boats true value and suddenly offers are made.

Sometimes boats sit for years and years, never get sold, then the owner dies.

[virginia boy]

On the flip side: a potential buyer may see the bad teak and completely miss a high-value boat that in spite of having been around the world once or twice is still worthy of love and attention.

[Celestialsailor]

[QUOTE=Doodles;977782]

Originally Posted by ArtM

Two things:
1) I've met a number of sailors who have met their wives in the Philippines or similar areas. In those areas, sailing and the sea are an integral part of their culture. /QUOTE]

No, in Thailand sailing and the sea is not part of the culture. Most Thai's can't afford it and have no interest in boating, but they are very interested in Western men. Also known as ATM machines.

I wish I could disagree with you about the Thais. But it's so true. I had a 3 year long relationship over there with one and she was terrified of the water. Their culture teaches them that the souls of the dead live in the shores and will take them under. At least that what my Teerak said to me.
I did not know that about the Pinoys though. I may give it a shot one day.
I also think Serena is spot on with her assessment of women sailing. I would go further and say it is more true for western women also. They seem to depend too much on their men. Not all, but most.