hello Jim,
i've yet to buy my boat for a number of reasons:
-it takes a while to line up one's ducks, untangle from lubberlife and its "shoulds"
-calculating how much a boat does/will cost and how much one has for
retirement is a huge
-figuring out what type of boat to get and where to keep it/sail it takes much
research (and is a
learning process, so evolves as you research)
-the babysteps so to learn to sail/handle a boat/care for a boat are not always that easily accessed and can feel quite tiny
-so much of one's success can be propelled by being in/a part of a local community of sailors. if you cannot find this community (as in, real people who sail), you can feel quite islolated (especially when
family and friends cannot fathom why you would even want this life)
-and yes, paralysis-by-analysis can become a thing...
if you feel overwhelmed by it all, take heart. so many of us do.
from what i understand, your ex-girlfriend is willing to help you learn some boat handing skills and sailing skills. as a former
live-aboard herself, she will surely be able to give you some very good tips. this is your window of opportunity: jump! do not let this opportunity pass you by.
from what i've read, your first "use" of the boat is for
living aboard. if this is the case, try to avoid imagining your will be doing it all (becoming a circumnavigator) in your first go. the vlog of Old Seadog (fantastic, yes) is inspiring, but not everyone really likes it out there. and it does take
money: he says so himself in a recent interview (he has a shod boat but he is spending the
money he would have invested in
buying a house instead).
my suggestion is that, if you plan to live on the boat, you need to research/focus on finding a place to put the boat (a slip - sometimes rare as hen's teeth) and a boat that fits the slip and also fits you. what kind of boat(s) you put on your short-list may change for a while as you learn; then, when you look for those boats, you need to focus on the condition of the boat. over the span of ten years, a more expensive, well-cared for boat may cost much, much less than a sistership that is going for
cheap.
boat size for living aboard:
i plan to live aboard too and have viewed so many boats over the years: 26' was simply too small and claustrophobic for me (and i'm thin!). but between 28' and 35' has felt great, depending on the boat itself. (true, the nonsuch has lots of
interior space as does the
Hunter that Boatman suggested)
however, 36' and above tends to be more expensive in terms of upkeep and systems
maintenance and
repair, especially at the
dock. boat size depends on your
budget
lastly, you mentioned
europe. i strongly suggest that you stay over there and not come to
europe to begin your boat life. after thirty years, i still find that europe is complicated (rules and regs until you want to jump off of a cliff). when it comes to boats, you do have more freedom over there as well: you do not need special licences, permits, boat passports, fiscal stamps... basically, you can register in a state, pay the tax and be done with it. plus, you've got gorgeous, well-made boats over there!!!! lots of choice! over here, we have the rasmus 35, yes, and a few others, but comparatively, there are just not enough for me to create a descent short list. and the rules-n-regs here make it financially prohibitive to
import a lovely old gal made for the US market.
so re-cap:
-learn all you can from your ex-girlfriend
-find a community of sailors and help out and see
-know that taking baby steps is frustrating but necessary
-be careful not to over-analyse: it is tough to know when to take the leap, especially without support from family/friends, especially when it is your first time
buying a boat. i often remind myself of what Mandela said: May your choices reflect your dreams, not your fears.
good luck to you and welcome to CF!
wolfie