Crew Available: available until end June, caribbean, on couple's boat or all-female

[wolfgal]

i'm currently on anchor in St Martin on a boat (gorgeous thing: a Hylas 49!) that was supposed to leave a while ago. due to delays in works, it basically hasn't moved since jan 30th. the yard here was sh*t (truly) and caused much frustration, and now it looks like the captain may just want out: pack up and sell the boat. he's had enough and is also finding the "dream" to be rather shallow. and geez yes, my infatuation with cruising has taken a hit too. i get it.

so... unless i decide to hop back on a plane and return to my base, i am available to crew as "inexperienced crew"... inexperienced even though i surprise everyone with my boat systems knowledge and anything sailboat-related. the deal is that i lack self-confidence with the spaghetti and the tech and the helm (but hey, i can dive on the anchor and climb the mast!) and tend to try too hard. i am also a lousy cook, which makes washing up my thing and no, i'm not at all a disaster on wheels, and even can think straight quite well when the SHTF; it is more about feeling too nervous while trying to avoid getting yelled at...

i am seeking to crew for either a female (or females) or a very, very sturdy couple or become a part of a larger team. i'm stating this so to make it clear that i am not interested in being alone with a solo sailor who might be looking for a mate. and yes, it is complicated: i've got a great body and a nice smile and love the water and sailing and am quite enthusiastic when the sailing gets hairy, but unfortunately, i am also relearning those male/female ropes i learned back in my younger, dating days. (so guys, please don't take this wrong. i'm not a male-hater or anything like that. i just need to be very, very careful.)

sending a big thank you to CF!


wolfgal

[PaulCrawhorn]

sturdy?

You mean physically strong?

Or a relationship able to withstand your physical attractiveness?

[JPA Cate]

At a guess, Paul, emotionally sturdy, so that both husband and wife are comfortable with female crew.

Ann

[LittleWing77]

How 'bout Flying Monkey, Wolfie?

Crew Wanted: Florida - Azores - Europe -
May 22
https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...-a-263623.html

LW77

[Tetepare]

I think she means sturdy, as in a couple who can stand without groaning. We were working on refitting the boat all day, and can barely move, so we’re out.

Wolfie, good luck hope you can stay in the Caribbean. Not for nothing, I know a bunch of sailor males who’d have a short term female crew and be well behaved. I’m not sure where all the nutty men are.

[StoneCrab]

I'd have to admit that I am a bit offended. The male stereotype is not deserved by all men.

Personally I like capable females. It certainly doesn't mean that I must have a romantic or sexual relationship with them. Sometimes it is better to have a working relationship than a friendship, or a friendship over a relationship.

Similarly, wouldn't it be grand to be able to have female crew that didn't expect to be pampered, who weren't emotional at the drop of the hat, felt like they know better on all topics and expecting of men to be fawning all over them?

Does that fit or are you offended???.....

Chill and peace out.

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by StoneCrab

I'd have to admit that I am a bit offended. The male stereotype is not deserved by all men.

Personally I like capable females. It certainly doesn't mean that I must have a romantic or sexual relationship with them. Sometimes it is better to have a working relationship than a friendship, or a friendship over a relationship.

Similarly, wouldn't it be grand to be able to have female crew that didn't expect to be pampered, who weren't emotional at the drop of the hat, felt like they know better on all topics and expecting of men to be fawning all over them?

Does that fit or are you offended???.....

Chill and peace out.

Of course the stereotype doesn't apply to all men and I'm certain wolfgal does not think so nor intend to imply so.

However there are enough men to whom this does apply that a woman traveling alone, in a vulnerable situation or isolated like on a boat has to be very careful. I regret to say that I know a lot of women that have had to deal with unpleasant and occasionally dangerous situations, often even with men they were acquainted with and felt safe with.

I am sorry for the situation. Would have really liked to have a woman on my Atlantic trip. So far the crew is all men and we need someone on board to cook and clean.

[goboatingnow]

Originally Posted by skipmac

Of course the stereotype doesn't apply to all men and I'm certain wolfgal does not think so nor intend to imply so.



However there are enough men to whom this does apply that a woman traveling alone, in a vulnerable situation or isolated like on a boat has to be very careful. I regret to say that I know a lot of women that have had to deal with unpleasant and occasionally dangerous situations, often even with men they were acquainted with and felt safe with.



I am sorry for the situation. Would have really liked to have a woman on my Atlantic trip. So far the crew is all men and we need someone on board to cook and clean.

So women = cook and clean , that’s enlightened

[LittleWing77]

Originally Posted by skipmac

I am sorry for the situation. Would have really liked to have a woman on my Atlantic trip. So far the crew is all men and we need someone on board to cook and clean.

Hahaha! Good one, SkipMac! (Looks like you managed to go right over the head of one Member already - but of course, a sense of humour is not a prerequisite for sailing... )

Sounds like the crew you've gathered is a good group.

Hope you have a fantastic Transat - and avoid that volcano in the Azores...

Fair, fair, winds, my friend!
LittleWing77

P.S. Wolfie's going to be okay. Just an unexpected gybe instead of a tack. She's sorting out some other possibilities... like maybe Antigua Race Week - which starts on the 30th.

[Tetepare]

Originally Posted by LittleWing77

... like maybe Antigua Race Week - which starts on the 30th.

Somewhat off topic (but not), some years ago in PR I "saved" a young Danish gal from a lecherous hanger-oner male. She hung with me for a few days, then headed off to meet strangers on a sailboat at ARW...and that was it. She fell in love, stayed in the Carib, and worked in sailing for years.

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

So women = cook and clean , that’s enlightened

Do you really think that poorly of me?

Please do take note of the amusing little emoticons that are generally acknowledged to indicate humor.

[wolfgal]

hey everyone,

late reply, only found internet today (and for just a bit)

first off, i truly want to thank all the CF folks who have responded! i have received SO MANY Pm's, all of which are testimony to not only the sailor's spirit in helping his/her fellow sailor, but also to how WONDERFUL people can be, male or female!

ok, i think i found a solution and will be setting off as early as the day after tomorrow. fingers crossed it will be good. am truly proud of myself for taking up the challenge and not throwing in the towel (flying back to my inner-city-no-boats-in-sight of a place...).

and hey, i've been courageous folks, which feels so good. reminds me of me so long ago when i traveled solo across europe and the middle east and sailed a feluca up the nile and did the dig and dived in the red sea... wah i was a scared chicken for a bit there, but now i feel so much better. i am aware of how much i do love life and am so grateful that i finally can enjoy it!


i would like to say something to those of you who understood that i believe men are monsters: please know that this was not only my intent but not the case. i happen to get along with men extremely well (best friends an all - am a bonafide tomboy).

and to my point, what i wrote above doesn't point even a pinky at men. do please read my post again and see how i state that i'm relearning the ropes, am not a pro at interpersonal relationships etc. (going totally hermit for two years will do this folks, not to mention a near-three-decade marriage to a big-man-on-campass, believe me).

and if you really want to know the core of it, it is my need to get to know myself again, TRUSt my GUT feeling about people and get better at drawing boundaries (am really and truly out of practice!). know thyself first, trust thyself second. it is work guys, that's all. and yes, even though it only takes one bad apple to spoil a batch, i still see men as beautiful unspoilt apples. really

so please let's not turn my thread into a male/female bashing thing. it is not what anyone needs. it is not what the world needs now.

again, thanks again to all! thanks SO MUCH!

wolfie

[Sunfish2.0]

Originally Posted by wolfgal

i'm currently on anchor in St Martin on a boat (gorgeous thing: a Hylas 49!) that was supposed to leave a while ago. due to delays in works, it basically hasn't moved since jan 30th. the yard here was sh*t (truly) and caused much frustration, and now it looks like the captain may just want out: pack up and sell the boat. he's had enough and is also finding the "dream" to be rather shallow. and geez yes, my infatuation with cruising has taken a hit too. i get it.

so... unless i decide to hop back on a plane and return to my base, i am available to crew as "inexperienced crew"... inexperienced even though i surprise everyone with my boat systems knowledge and anything sailboat-related. the deal is that i lack self-confidence with the spaghetti and the tech and the helm (but hey, i can dive on the anchor and climb the mast!) and tend to try too hard. i am also a lousy cook, which makes washing up my thing and no, i'm not at all a disaster on wheels, and even can think straight quite well when the SHTF; it is more about feeling too nervous while trying to avoid getting yelled at...

i am seeking to crew for either a female (or females) or a very, very sturdy couple or become a part of a larger team. i'm stating this so to make it clear that i am not interested in being alone with a solo sailor who might be looking for a mate. and yes, it is complicated: i've got a great body and a nice smile and love the water and sailing and am quite enthusiastic when the sailing gets hairy, but unfortunately, i am also relearning those male/female ropes i learned back in my younger, dating days. (so guys, please don't take this wrong. i'm not a male-hater or anything like that. i just need to be very, very careful.)

sending a big thank you to CF!


wolfgal

Hey wolf gal- I appreciated your post and am in your same shoes to a degree.
Idea~ If you find a boat needing additional crew/ room for another female I am available on two weeks notice to join up.
Short or long passage. I’m retired and flexible.

Also NOT wanting ANY relationship. I may be your elder but I have the energy of my 30 year old nieces, and wisdom they wish they had from exploring 24 countries and life in the states.
For idea sharing on crewing send me a private message with your number if something materializes. There’s need for crew leaving FL for Baltic end of May.

[Tetepare]

Damned I’m jealous. More Carib time. Totally unfair.

Men ARE pigs. Problem is some have a sailing genome that overrides reproduction. Perfect wind, salt spray = disfunctional genetic programming.

Waiting for report.

[Chotu]

For anyone: people have the right to have a preference in the company they choose to keep. It can based on gender, culture, physical fitness or any number of characteristics. Let’s not make more of this than what it is. It’s just Wolfgal letting her preference be known.

And there is a lot of truth to what she is saying. For some reason or another a lot of people think going sailing with someone of the opposite gender means you’re dating them.

I had it happen the other way around. I’m more comfortable with female crew (my preference) and was married. I took on the crew for a delivery. Well, she didn’t behave as crew at all! She grudgingly took the helm a couple times a day, slept to the crack of 10am, didn’t know any cooking (so I did all of that too) and it was harder to manage the boat with her on board than to single hand!

I got to a marina in Florida where I was letting her go and getting ready to fly her back home when, at the last second, she found one of those “pirate” type dressing guys on one of the other boats to crew for (or date in her eyes), so it worked out well in the end. This is what she was looking for. Binge drinking, sleeping until noon and hanging around marinas living some imagined pirate life - and dating the person she was crewing for.

She was genuinely confused as to why I treated her professionally and not as someone I was dating.

So Wolfgal is not far off in her preferences. Deep down, I think we all know that.