Why people may not help you!

[Capt Phil]

Originally Posted by chris mac

Steve bean, ��
When I was a teenager I worked in a small town convenience store. A long haul trucker would stop in periodically and just bs with me for a while.
He would randomly pick out people in the store and point them out to me. When they came up to pay, I would tell them it was free, store promotion or whatever. He would pay their bill but never wanted anyone to know.
He told me his story, grew up poor but turned it around and was doing well because of random help from strangers. Now he gets pleasure from paying it forward.
That always stuck with me.
I've done it a couple times now, it's a really great feeling. especially when it's obvious that they could use a hand.
For whatever weird reason, I also enjoy pulling people out of the ditch in winter. Sitting in -20 for a few hours waiting for a tow truck is a very special level of hell!

I worked as a truck driver one winter hauling pipe to United Keno Hill mines a couple of hundred miles from Elsa, Yukon Territories.
I stopped in the Silver Dollar saloon in Dawson Creek to over night and heard this tale that evidently had occurred about a year before.
Another trucker had broken down about 50 miles outside of town and a trucker drove right past him without stopping.
The driver of the truck which had broken down flagged down the next truck that took him into town to the Silver Dollar where the truck that had driven by was spotted. ( an unwritten rule when driving in winter in the north country is you never drive past a broke down vehicle without stopping)
Both truckers went into the saloon and one asked who was driving the truck that bypassed the broken down truck. The driver said, "me... what's it to ya?"
With that the bypassed driver pulled out his pistol from his bag and shot the other driver in the head, killing him.
He served 1 year in jail for justifiable homocide! The judge, Gord Walmsley, now deceased,the circuit judge told me that story and I believe him.
I love the Law of the North! Phil

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Mike,

In real life especially in the boating community, that study is complete BS. Nearly all the people we've met and know are self-made and very aware of their roots. We don't know anyone who wouldn't lend a hand to to someone just because they're not as well off financially. We've also seen the same compassion from the many people we meet from much further up the financial ladder looking at us.

That sounds like one of those studies that came up with it's conclusion first, then cherry picked data to support their views.

The research is there if you want to read it Ken. It seems to be a real phenomena. But like you, I have not seen this play out in the boating world. I’ve been in countless anchorages where I’ve made quick friends with people clearly of less economic means, and those with far more. As long as you’re out there it doesn’t seem to matter, which is partly why I love the life.

I don’t believe in any universal Karma. People don’t always get what they deserve, which is a good thing considering how often bad things happen to good people. But I really do believe you get back what you give out.

Be kind. Be generous when you’re able. Be giving when you can. Try not to hurt too many people as you move through this life.

None of us our getting out of here alive, so we might as well be nice to each other.

[DeepFrz]

Good luck to you. There are many wonderful people out there, but also many users or people who don't have a concept of what your time is worth.

Absolutely. Although many people are grateful for your help there are many who will use anybody they can. Its sometimes hard to tell who you should and who you shouldn't help.

That sounds like one of those studies that came up with it's conclusion first, then cherry picked data to support their views.

No Ken. I think it is you who has come to a conclusion first and then is only letting in information you want to see/hear.

Although only one study was quoted in the above post there are many research studies to back it up.

Google this "what income levels are the most compassionate people"

Discover why low-income people are quicker to show compassion. Find out why affluent people are more likely to break rules.

[buzzstar]

Not quite a boating story, but a true tale with a remote naval connection to offset some of the slings and arrows. My wife had a flat tire on a local freeway while driving her elderly mother to a appointment with a doctor. As usual she had forgotten her cell phone. A car immediately pulls up, outsteps a US Marine in beautiful dress blues (his rank is a mystery to her). He changes the tire, refuses any compensation, including a dinner (I am told our daughter was a quickly thought of, but unmentioned, additional guest), drives on, as did my wife, and they made the doctor's appointment. Somehow, my guess was that the marine was headed to a funeral for a former marine who has passed on. She has had a more favorable attitude toward the USMC ever since.

[roberthowell]

have 3 little dogs on the boat that can not always go away with us so need dog sitter. they said if i help them with there head we could trade. my idea is that i show him what is wrong and let him learn by doing. last i checked head still broke. not even tried to fix the clogged line part.

[zeehag]

when someone is long lining a boat for whatever reason, please oh gods please donot try to show off how little you know by standing on the lines being used for this purpose while asking if you can help- you WILL be turned down.
guy was actually fortunate no one pushed him into the water while the task was in progress......

[knockabout]

their moms bring them up like that

[a64pilot]

I had the darnedest experience when I was in Key West, we were only there a couple of days, but twice I pulled smallish sailboats off of groundings right by Garrison bight mooring field with my dinghy, it gets real shallow just outside of the field. Both times took probably an hour each.
Both times, the occupant of the boat was surprised I was willing to help and was grateful, both times I had many powered dinghy's drive right by without so much as a wave much less an offer to assist.
The day we were leaving I had an incident right beside the mooring field in the channel that led to my dinghy motor coming off, and tossing me in the water. Must have been ten boats see that, and for the 45 min or so it took me to wrestle the motor back into the dinghy and row back to my boat, not a single boat that passed offered to help.
Now if I see a person rowing a dinghy with the motor up and cover off, I'm going to ask if they need a tow, which was something I could have really used.

Never in my life have I ever seen such disregard, heck in the Panhandle if you stop and are obviously not fishing, people will stop fishing, start their boat up and come over to see if you need help.

[newhaul]

Originally Posted by buzzstar

Not quite a boating story, but a true tale with a remote naval connection to offset some of the slings and arrows. My wife had a flat tire on a local freeway while driving her elderly mother to a appointment with a doctor. As usual she had forgotten her cell phone. A car immediately pulls up, outsteps a US Marine in beautiful dress blues (his rank is a mystery to her). He changes the tire, refuses any compensation, including a dinner (I am told our daughter was a quickly thought of, but unmentioned, additional guest), drives on, as did my wife, and they made the doctor's appointment. Somehow, my guess was that the marine was headed to a funeral for a former marine who has passed on. She has had a more favorable attitude toward the USMC ever since.

I have found that any us military enlisted personel are usually quick to help others . ( most are also in the lower income brackets)

[chris mac]

I find that people are generally more helpful in smaller communities than cities, even to strangers.

[Dave22q]

Class differentials especially avoiding contact with those seen as beneath you I believe is basically an urban thing. It may well be associated with the incidence of violent street crime. It certainly is not my experience in marinas or on the water where class/wealth does not seem to matter most of the time.

[Stu Jackson]

There is another way we all help, every day:

This Forum!!!

Don't know how many times I've posted my

Electrical Systems 101 Electrical Systems 101

And so many others help those who start off by sayin': " I don't know nothin' 'bout 'lektricity..."

None of us was born an electrician, but we're all willing to HELP.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Its called progress..
There was a time as a biker when if I pulled up under a bridge on a cold wet winters day to thaw out my hands, warm n dry my gloves a bit on the engine and have a smoke.. a bike would roar past then turn round and come back to ask if I was okay.. passing bikes would give a cheery wave or nod..
Then biking became trendy with designer leathers and Yuppie buyers/riders.. today they just roar past and/or ignore your greeting.
Over the years the same thing has happened in the boating world.. common courtesies fade as the amount and type of 'Users' grows..
The natural result through an influx of the "Me Me..!!!" Society...
Myself.. its like lending someone money.. once bitten twice shy.. with that particular person.

I need to agree on bikes and boats. It is a shame but I guess it is what it is an entitled society.

[Rivatar]

Before I started cruising I had no real notion of karma, now I firmly believe that one day, when needed, all good deeds get paid off in spades. Karma.

[skipper53]

The generosity of spirit that is the norm in the sailing/boating community is,one,of the best parts of it. When we receive help from others we have an opportunity to learn and when we give help we have the opportunity to teach. No reason to need payment for either.

Twice I have given the winter jacket off my back to someone who needed it more than I did--One to a single mom who had giver hers to her son to wear to school, and another to an old veteran who had only a torn heavy shirt instead of a jacket. Hope everyday to be in a position to be able to recognize a way to be of service in whatever way possible. Maybe that's why we're here......