Assessing Your Partner

[a64pilot]

I don’t understand.
My knees are shot, it has no real effect on me handling the boat, it does however have a very real effect on me being able to walk significant distances.
Didn’t he just get out of the Military? If so then he can’t be in all that bad a shape.

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by Shrew

I see this with docking and anchoring all the time. Why send a 104lb deck hand out to handle lines while docking, when a much physically stronger individual is sitting turning a wheel and pushing a lever?

Because she doesn’t want the responsibility of helming the Boat, too nervous about wacking it.
I try, cause as you say it doesn’t make sense, though neither of us has weighed 100 lbs in a long time.

[jimisbell]

My wife and are 81 and 82. Till recently we had a 44 foot ketch. But she is no longer able to do foredeck duties.....maybe no duties......We just bought a trawler that I can easily single hand. I could single hand the ketch too, but not in a storm/emergency situation. After 60 years of marriage, I could not see myself going to sea without her so the trawler was the only way to go.

[jimisbell]

Originally Posted by scarlet

I'm curious... Did they tell you when to plan for a knee replacement?

I was told 10 years ago that both my knees were bone onbone and needed replacement. I asked"When?" and he said,"when it hurts bad enough to change your lifestyle." I said, "it doesnt hurt now and as long as I take Glucosomine Sulphate, it doesnt hurt." So he advised me to continue with the Glucosomine (said he didnt believe that was helping but go on) and whenI couldnt walk anymore he would fix it. Its 10 years now and it still doesnt hurt. Last month I asked him if it could get so bad he couldnt fix it if I kept going with no pain. His answer encouraged to go on since it still doesn hurt. He said, "I can fix ANYTHING".

[a64pilot]

My Dr said pretty much the same thing after my third knee surgery, that I would need replacements. I asked how long, he said he didn’t know, I would tell him.
I asked what he meant by that and his answer was one day I would show up telling him to just cut my legs off, the knees hurt so bad.
I’m not there yet, either.

[JPA Cate]

When I went to see the doc for my spinal decompression surgery, there was a man in the office who was chatting with me who said in his opinion, everyone puts off back surgery too long. It kind of stayed with me, as a concept, but the thing is, scarlet's husband's "plateau" has all that metal in it, and for him, in order to do a TKR, that will have to be removed, making the whole operation a lot riskier, probably more difficult (longer surgery, more hours), and also riskier for a good outcome. In his shoes, I'd want to be sure there were no longer any viable alternatives. Our bodies have to see us out, and I'd just as soon mine was in good nick.

Ann

[scarlet]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I don’t understand.
My knees are shot, it has no real effect on me handling the boat, it does however have a very real effect on me being able to walk significant distances.
Didn’t he just get out of the Military? If so then he can’t be in all that bad a shape.

His job was sedentary with the military, so, it wasn't like he was forward ops that require tip top physical condition. And He was on "profile" because of his knee injury. So, he was restricted from running, etc. He was still highly capable of doing the job he was trained for. Had he been Forward ops, he would have had a medical discharge...

[skenn_ie]

Originally Posted by Cheechako

-roller furling headsail if you can.
-He must wear a life jacket or float aid of some sort.
-hand holds everywhere you can put them.

Personal EPIRB for both of you too, AND practice MOB recovery.
Both of you should be able to get down around the engine AND back out again, though on a 22, that is probabl an O/b

[Leighpilot]

I think you have very valid concerns. 500 miles out to sea is no time to have an injured crewman. Here’s my suggestion. Get a young college couple to come crew with you on the long passages. Reefing at night in a storm is best handled with “ George , Sally go put two reefs in the main please. Try not to stomp on the deck and keep me awake “. They’ll handle the work , you get to enjoy the sailing. When you get to the cruising ground , send them home or keep them if they’re good company.

[Nepidae]

I will respond within your comments;

Originally Posted by scarlet

We are about 18 months out from moving aboard and cruising for our retirement and I'm concerned about my husband's physical ability....
What type of boat do you have or are considering? IF it is a sailboat, I might consider getting a different boat as most sailboats require movement in restricted areas (bow to handle a line) whether wet or not with a lot of knee and arm bending.

About 5 years ago my husband had an accident and shattered his tibial plateau (that's the cradle shaped bone that holds the ball of your knee). He shattered it into 9 pieces. We were very lucky in that we found a surgeon who patented a metal device for these kinds of injuries, and was able to put him back together. Because of him, my husband isn't lame.

However, he was given some physical restrictions. No worries, we could work around that. But that was 5 years ago.

In the last couple of years his physical abilities are becoming more concerning due to his knee. Arthritis has really set in. Sometimes he limps really badly (still no problem, we can work around). What really concerns me is:

1. being on a rocking/ wet deck and falling and hurting himself. This year we went on a charter with friends, and he feel getting on and off a dock from the dinghy, and had some trouble moving about when the boat was rocking. Another injury to his knee, and he will lose use of the leg.
We tend to not go out when wind & waves could be such as to make decks wet. We have a trawler which is about a 40K# boat, 43' long and a stable platform. Her configuration is such that she is usually a step on/off the boat over her gunnels. When we use the dinghy we usually board from the swim platform, but could do so from a ladder off the side, potentially an easier step but where most dinghy docks are a step off could be a problem, BUT, I have seen dinghy's with a 'handrail' in the boat which would help stepping off/on an easier maneuver.

2. He cannot safely move fast. If we hit bad weather, and something needs to be secured.. or we lose a sail, and I need him fast up front... or any other situation where I need him somewhere, quick. He can't do it. It would take him 3-4 times as long to get where I need him that it does me. I'm afraid that him being so slow moving could cost us our life.
Stay on the dock with bad weather and get a different boat. Our boat has wide walkways and 2 stations for driving. Also have him drive while you handle outside and dock work, tying up and releasing lines on docking (my wife does this).

I am 100% confident in his abilities on those duties that he would be responsible of on a daily basis, such as helming.. electronics and anything electrical. managing the dinghy... cleaning the bottom of the boat, and any underwater work such as prop maintenance, etc. He is an excellent navigator, has had weather training, etc. So, in everyday/good weather/non-emergency situations. I have no worries. But, there is reason for me to be concerned with the things I listed above.
Are you LOOKING for ways not to cruise?

Trust me... I know we all get older, and the body starts to breakdown. (I'm already seeing evidence myself as I get older). But his situation is special.
How old are each of you?

Can anyone offer me some insight regarding sailing with a person who has some physical limitations? Maybe safety features we could add to make things easier for him, (and ease my mind). Or maybe we should limit our sailing grounds, and stay close to the caribbean rather than venturing beyond?

I think, depending on what changes you are willing to make, that cruising could be a workable experience for you both.

Based on your descriptions I would definitely consider a different boat. MY wife made it clear she wasn't getting on a boat that leaned over to go and even on good days a sailboat is NOT for someone who would have trouble moving around on while moving.

If you'd like to discuss further, contact me off-list.

Good luck.

Best regards,

Charles

Charles Williamson
m/v Nepidae
Albin 43 Sundeck
Nepidae.trawler@gmail.com
MTOA 3927
AGLCA 12114

Please keep in mind that emails show no emotion, often omit words,
and may be perceived as the opposite of what is intended.
A simple phone call is the fastest way to straighten out any
misunderstanding or questions.

[Privilege]

Scarlet, another thing that you might want to consider if you haven't already done so; there are lots of young couples or single people who are looking to travel cheaply and can be found on places like crewbay.com
If you are doing a crossing and have concerns, you have the spare room so find a young person to come with you. I bet that if you offered to feed them and let them stay on board for an extra couple of weeks once you arrive at your destination, you will find plenty of youngsters happy to help out.

[Trimaran Ken]

Originally Posted by scarlet

I'm curious... Did they tell you when to plan for a knee replacement? The doctors we talked to said "not for 10 years" because, at his age, he would need another replacement in a decade or so after that. Well.. my thoughts are, if he can get it done now, and have 10 good years NOW when he is young, and has plans for his life, it would be worth it to have a second one at a later date.. but that still leaves the issues with his hardware....

Find a different doctor. They are making longer lasting knees now than a few years ago. My wife's father was told something similar, so he suffered for many years. Then they told him he was too old and frail.

I had a shoulder problem. I asked the doctor if there were any other options other than surgery. He said yes, you can give up sailing. I had the operation and I'm really glad I did. Sometimes "quality of life" is worth the risk.

[double u]

...many a day the lady in my life questions my mental ability...(& sometimes I'm notsure there is any "questioning" any more...)

[wingssail]

1. You sound like you are more capable. You'll have to go forward. Since you are smaller, make sure you get a boat suitable to the strengths and abilities you both bring to it. If he can't go forward, then you will have to, don't get a boat so big that the foredeck duties are beyond you.

2. Get a boat early, before you plan to leave, and get some experience with it, several shorter trips. Work out the best way to accomplish things. The physical challenges can be over come.

3. If you both really want this, do it. just work things out ahead of time.

[KeithS]

Scarlet,
My last 20 years has been as an emergency physician in a destination ski town. It is technically impossible to get the joint surface as good as it was pre-injury. Early degenerative arthritis is the consequence. The hardware for TKR has immproved. You say your husband is clumsy. His knee joint and gait should be evaluated by an orthopedist that does lots of TKRs in younger active people. Then consider a physical therapist who can evaluate his balance and hip strength. Cycling and running don’t necessarily maintain the nerve pathways small muscles needed for balance on deck.
I’ll bet neither of you are physically optimized for sailing. Good news...you can get better!