I thought sailing was supposed to be fun

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Lake-Effect

Reading and posting on forums isn't sailing.

Its Tacking one's armchair through the fleet..

[patagoniadave]

Originally Posted by DMF Sailing

Dave, I believe it's just a function of our digital era that allows people, from the safety and relative comfort of their keyboard, to dash off something they may not say to your face. Therefore, my digital rule for myself is never write something I wouldn't say aloud to you in public, and never react to something the other person would never say aloud to me in public.

It can be rough here, but for me, as someone who lives in a place (Boston) where grumpy putdowns are a part of daily life, and whose career (journalism) involved being trolled far more maliciously and senselessly on Twitter, the egregious negativity and peevishness one might encounter on this forum is relatively rare, and easily avoidable.

Incidentally, the moderators, in addition to taking action to remove offensive posts and out-of-control threads, also encourage you to report privately to them posts that you find objectionable. Then it's between the member who agreed to the rules here versus the moderators who enforce them. I'd recommend that rather than confronting the offending poster directly.

However, I also find that if you respond to over-the-top posts with humility and humanity, very often that veneer of uncivil behavior can shed itself and the person behind the post reveals themself to be a person just like you. And someone with whom, if you encountered them on the dock, you would most likely chat amiably. How do I know that? In 50 years of sailing, I think I've been insulted in all seriousness to my face by another sailor twice, once because I did something stupid, and the other when a pleasure boat powerboat skipper had no idea he is the give-way vessel to a sailboat in the middle of a race. (As I said, jocular putdowns are a part of daily life in Boston.)

No one here with sailing and cruising experience is bereft of knowledge that may help you as you make your way. When I aim for that, and ignore the static, I find the forum to be a net positive worth supporting.

My $0.02 (plus $15)

[ADDENDUM: There is a point when even useful threads may descend into an off-the-rails argument between one or two aggrieved posters. That's when the "unsubscribe to this thread" button becomes a solid gold ticket to peace.]

I lived for a long time in Massachusetts, and still work there remotely. I know what you mean, and agree about the digital disconnect in general. As mentioned by others, the percentage just seems stronger here.

I do not confront or feed trolls, and while I admit that someone telling me that I needed to "get help" because I have OCD is what got under my skin to post this thread, I really do not post much here or have many negative interactions. It is the reading through of old posts where people are just shredding each other, on pretty much every thread longer than two pages, that I get mentally exhausted. I know there is good information out there (although there seems to be no consensus on any topic), but to wade through all of that anger to get it...

[Tetepare]

Originally Posted by patagoniadave

I know there is good information out there (although there seems to be no consensus on any topic), but to wade through all of that anger to get it...

For risk of being suspended, I will suggest what has worked for me: when you see a repeat offender, put them on Ignore.

That serves two purposes (1) eliminates those prone to exaggeration and/or recidivist claims and (2) alleviates your (sorry, "my") brain from reacting to the rubbish.

Now I see threads with multiple posts that I can't read, which apparently has no ill effect on the information. I can have a whole screen loaded with posts I can't read, all by the same few, and (not surprisingly) virtually never are they quoted by others.

Who one decides is a repeat offender will differ by member. I don't block anyone with differing social media, environmental or political beliefs, but I do block them if they're unable to control themselves. I don't block those who dream, but I do block their wasting my time if they refuse to listen to good advise. I pretty much block anyone who posts "I didn't read the whole thread but...", and those who've been here a while who reiterate the same falsehoods that have already been debunk. I have at least on moderator blocked.

I don't know how to "flag" quality members. It's just over time I've picked up on who really knows their stuff, and who's helpful. There's a handful here that I truly admire! And there are those who I just plain like- say like Mike OR: we differ drastically on almost every topic, including what appropriate water temperature should be, yet I like the guy. He has a good heart.

Just stick with it. Figure out one, then two, then ten truly helpful experts. Save yourself from some of the others.

Good sailing to you.

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

I don't know how to "flag" quality members. It's just over time I've picked up on who really knows their stuff, and who's helpful. There's a handful here that I truly admire! And there are those who I just plain like- say like Mike OR: we differ drastically on almost every topic, including what appropriate water temperature should be, yet I like the guy. He has a good heart.

Now you're making me blush .

But a big +1 for this. TP and I rarely agree, but we can do so without being disagreeable. Too many here seem to have forgotten how to do this, and as I say, I think it is getting worse.

Liberal use of the ignore function works well. Personally, I do it manually -- I just know who to ignore. Although I admit that sometimes I do get dragged down by the bstrds.

While I don't have anyone on auto-ignore, I do make good use of the "ignore thread" function. This removes entire threads from my view. This works well for me.

[Tetepare]

I feel like I'm hanging the FNG out to dry. I'd like to name names- HEY HERE'S THE ONES TO LISTEN TO! But you know how that goes- you list a bunch of names, give thanks, walk off the stage and see the lady who's tops on your list that you forgot to thank.

See that Thanks button low right? You can send somebody a thanks. But always tell them why because this forum doesn't include that automatically. I've received thanks but have no idea what it was I said that helped them.

Gotta get back to sailing my office chair! You all have a good day.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

I feel like I'm hanging the FNG out to dry. I'd like to name names- HEY HERE'S THE ONES TO LISTEN TO! But you know how that goes- you list a bunch of names, give thanks, walk off the stage and see the lady who's tops on your list that you forgot to thank.

See that Thanks button low right? You can send somebody a thanks. But always tell them why because this forum doesn't include that automatically. I've received thanks but have no idea what it was I said that helped them.

Gotta get back to sailing my office chair! You all have a good day.

I find the 'this post' link gives me a clue if it's a blank sheet thanks.. sometimes its info, sometimes it's something that's amused..
Either way it's appreciated..

[patagoniadave]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

See that Thanks button low right? You can send somebody a thanks. But always tell them why because this forum doesn't include that automatically. I've received thanks but have no idea what it was I said that helped them.

Gotta get back to sailing my office chair! You all have a good day.

Whoops, thank you for that tip. I have been liberally thanking people, but with no context. Will do better....

[patagoniadave]

Originally Posted by flightlead404

COVID-denying coocoos and trumptarded wackjobs it makes the experience MUCH better!

Try it, you'll see

I genuinely appreciate the support, but I feel like language like this is the root of some of the issues here. Regardless of what side you have an opinion on. It's the communication that's the issue, not the content.

[Mike OReilly]

Another guide that is somewhat useful can be found by clicking on a poster's name, and selecting "View Public Profile." On this page, look at the upper right side to see stars and above that, little green squares.

The squares indicate the number of times a poster has been thanked. Each square is worth a certain number of "thanks." I forget the number, maybe 100?

It's not a perfect guide, and it doesn't really work for new users, but it does give some sense of who might be worth listening to.

[Lake-Effect]

Originally Posted by patagoniadave

I genuinely appreciate the support, but I feel like language like this is the root of some of the issues here. Regardless of what side you have an opinion on. It's the communication that's the issue, not the content.

Mmmm, no, it's often content* that's the problem, which then leads to... strained communications. Given that you haven't been around here for very long, you have missed a few years of boaters of a certain age, demographic and political affiliation launching threads and sentiments better suited to a CPAC convention, and when others object... civility declines.

*is it me, or have the numbers of contentious, non-boating hot-button topics dropped recently? I'm seeing fewer of the classic CF battlethreads, and just about all current threads are actually boating-related... I think it's delightful compared to before 2022.

[dannc]

What Tetepare said. Could not have said it better.

I am only on a small number of websites. Bad behavior on CF has forced me to use the ignore list quite a few times. I try not do use the ignore button, and just scroll down, but there comes a point where a person makes the list.

One website I have been on since the last century and I don't think I have ever used the ignore feature. There is just something about the CF demographic.... Age wise, CF and the other website I suspect has the same age and gender groups so the bad behavior makes me scratch my head.

After awhile, on any website, you learn whose opinion to value and who to ignore.

Later,
Dan

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by patagoniadave

….

This site is a cesspool of toxic communication between members. I have never seen so many negative, sarcastic, angry, cynical. condescending trolls and cyber bullies in one place. It makes it hard to read through old posts, and I can understand why people do not want to contribute.

I don't understand where it comes from? I find great peace and mental health in this lifestyle, even when things go wrong. If sailing makes you so upset, I do not understand why you continue to do it?

Have you compared CF to SailingAnarchy?

[patagoniadave]

Originally Posted by Adelie

Have you compared CF to SailingAnarchy?

No, Sailboat Owners forum, Irwin Owners Facebook group, and three local sailing facebook groups.

[valhalla360]

I think the moderators do a good job of letting people discuss before clamping down.

I've certainly been on far worse forums...some anything that could remotely be considered out of line is censored or others were far more nasty stuff is not removed.

One thing to keep in mind is tone is often lost in written responses. This isn't to say some don't go too far but a lot of times, it's easy to read a tone in that isn't really there.

As mentioned by others, there are certain hot button topics more likely to draw debate and conflicting opinions.

[patagoniadave]

Originally Posted by valhalla360

I think the moderators do a good job of letting people discuss before clamping down.

I've certainly been on far worse forums...some anything that could remotely be considered out of line is censored or others were far more nasty stuff is not removed.

One thing to keep in mind is tone is often lost in written responses. This isn't to say some don't go too far but a lot of times, it's easy to read a tone in that isn't really there.

As mentioned by others, there are certain hot button topics more likely to draw debate and conflicting opinions.

There is nothing wrong with debate. I don't think I have researched a single topic that has consensus in sailing. It is the animosity with which people debate here. I am not sure I have read through a single multi page thread where someone was not rude to someone with a differing opinion. It is the culture of communication here, not the topics. The same topics are debated everywhere, with the same level of consensus, and less heat. Why is it so difficult to communicate your experience, and what worked for you, without bringing down someone who has had a different experience? Every boat, and owner and situation combination is going to be different, so there is no insult to your ego when what worked for you did not work for another?