I thought sailing was supposed to be fun

[patagoniadave]

In my attempt to get up to speed on sailing and cruising, I have read hundreds of threads on this site, and thousands of posts, all in less than a month. Very condensed.

I cannot remember which thread it was, but a regular was lamenting how few people post here. Why are there so many lurkers who do not contribute? I have a theory.

This site is a cesspool of toxic communication between members. I have never seen so many negative, sarcastic, angry, cynical. condescending trolls and cyber bullies in one place. It makes it hard to read through old posts, and I can understand why people do not want to contribute.

I don't understand where it comes from? I find great peace and mental health in this lifestyle, even when things go wrong. If sailing makes you so upset, I do not understand why you continue to do it?

[Tetepare]

They're everywhere, on every forum. But truth is, there are definitely more of "them" here than anywhere I know. I have more people on Ignore here than on every other forum combined.

Some of the attitude comes from actually decent, knowledgeable sailors who just get tired of reading the same incorrect, debunked rubbish again and again from the same offenders.

And some of the bad attitude comes from those intolerant of others' opinions. Actually, a lot of it.

There's a small subset of members who post constantly and post the same lies, the same bad information, again and again. For the most part there is probably an 80% overlap with those who are intolerant. No surprise.

I think it's not sailing that gets people upset. If they're sailing, they're not posting here. Where they get all day to sit and attack and regurgitate rubbish I do not know; but they're not sailing, they're not working on their boats, and apparently not working on anything.

All that said, there is a counter-group comprised of roughly 20% more than the offenders who, though apparently also having a lot of free time, post great information, great insights.

You just have to figure out who's who. Until then take any advise with a grain of salt. If you see a threat topic of interest, read the WHOLE thread, lest you take action on a recommendation that's already been debunked.

[davil]

remember complaining to a police sergeant about this cop attitude and his response

"Doc, every group has a jerk."

Wise words to live by.

[patagoniadave]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

They're everywhere, on every forum. But truth is, there are definitely more of "them" here than anywhere I know. I have more people on Ignore here than on every other forum combined.

This ^^^^

I am on other sailing forums and facebook groups. There is an occasional snarky comment, but overwhelmingly not. It seems to be the opposite here.

[patagoniadave]

Originally Posted by davil

remember complaining to a police sergeant about this cop attitude and his response

"Doc, every group has a jerk."

Wise words to live by.

justifying it and ignoring it like that, instead of dealing with it, made him complacent and an enabler of the behavior. I see a lot of that here as well.

[pcmm]

Originally Posted by patagoniadave

In my attempt to get up to speed on sailing and cruising, I have read hundreds of threads on this site, and thousands of posts, all in less than a month. Very condensed.

I cannot remember which thread it was, but a regular was lamenting how few people post here. Why are there so many lurkers who do not contribute? I have a theory.

This site is a cesspool of toxic communication between members. I have never seen so many negative, sarcastic, angry, cynical. condescending trolls and cyber bullies in one place. It makes it hard to read through old posts, and I can understand why people do not want to contribute.

I don't understand where it comes from? I find great peace and mental health in this lifestyle, even when things go wrong. If sailing makes you so upset, I do not understand why you continue to do it?

What "Tetepare" mentioned is all valid. The last few years here (and a lot of other forums) have been more and more "acidic" as the world wide pandemic has really messed with people's lives, fractured communities and sowed a lot of division. Add in the American Politics since 2016 and its a real mixed bag of emotion over fact and helpfulness. But sailing is sailing! summer is coming, get out there, go sailing and think less about the forums! It will still be here in the fall!

[longjonsilver]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

I think it's not sailing that gets people upset. If they're sailing, they're not posting here. Where they get all day to sit and attack and regurgitate rubbish I do not know; but they're not sailing, they're not working on their boats, and apparently not working on anything.

All that said, there is a counter-group comprised of roughly 20% more than the offenders who, though apparently also having a lot of free time, post great information, great insights.

You just have to figure out who's who.

yup

[goboatingnow]

Originally Posted by pcmm

What "Tetepare" mentioned is all valid. The last few years here (and a lot of other forums) have been more and more "acidic" as the world wide pandemic has really messed with people's lives, fractured communities and sowed a lot of division. Add in the American Politics since 2016 and its a real mixed bag of emotion over fact and helpfulness. But sailing is sailing! summer is coming, get out there, go sailing and think less about the forums! It will still be here in the fall!

I don’t agree CF is generally well mannered , steer clear of political , gun and Covid threads and it’s basically sweetness and light

[tkeithlu]

This is the only forum I'm active on, so I don't have a basis for comparison.

Central to this forum's rules is "be nice." Moderators delete rude posts when we find them. If you see one, please report it by tapping the little red and white triangle at the lower left corner of the post. The post and the details then go in front of which ever moderators are active at the time. You will be thanked for your assistance.

[Mike OReilly]

I too have seen this place become more vitriolic of late. I find myself spending less time here, and more time at another forum, which has nowhere near the same number of nasty or mean-spirited posters.

But as TP says, there are still a lot of great people here with a wealth of information. After a while, you sort out who to ignore.

[patagoniadave]

Originally Posted by tkeithlu

This is the only forum I'm active on, so I don't have a basis for comparison.

Central to this forum's rules is "be nice." Moderators delete rude posts when we find them. If you see one, please report it by tapping the little red and white triangle at the lower left corner of the post. The post and the details then go in front of which ever moderators are active at the time. You will be thanked for your assistance.

Do you only delete the post, or do you communicate with the negative poster?

[Rumrace]

Hahahaha. Good post OP
I thought the Benni Basher with the old Hunter bitter and he got it off his chest.
I learned about a bunch of flaws my French boat has. Was great if rude.
Some folks are on the hunt for the next argument to illustrate their accomplishments. It’s their therapy time.
There are forums with rambling moderators who make no sense or think freedom of speech is limited to their scope. The one who will interpret negative language where there is none cause they are fixated on competing. I have not seen that here on this forum. The moderators are more civil contributors then narcissists looking for new followers.
And people have bad days.
I’ve found most of the folks helping sorting out problems we all suffer top notch. If they are wrong so what we are all here to share knowledge.

[Rumrace]

On that same terribly negative thread a contributor said something brilliant. He loved the Garman vs GB debates and I agree. Some folks get really offended if someone questions their purchase decisions others accept it as a broader view on the market. If the OP chose to be rude and rant well the contributors changed the tone with Great info on Catalina, a new Beneteau 54 Oceanis being delivered in Toronto. Was great really. We heard each brand call out their reasoning. We are all in the same clubs together the same rumrace.

[Lake-Effect]

Originally Posted by patagoniadave

I thought sailing was supposed to be fun

Reading and posting on forums isn't sailing.

[DMF Sailing]

Originally Posted by patagoniadave

In my attempt to get up to speed on sailing and cruising, I have read hundreds of threads on this site, and thousands of posts, all in less than a month. Very condensed.

I cannot remember which thread it was, but a regular was lamenting how few people post here. Why are there so many lurkers who do not contribute? I have a theory.

This site is a cesspool of toxic communication between members. I have never seen so many negative, sarcastic, angry, cynical. condescending trolls and cyber bullies in one place. It makes it hard to read through old posts, and I can understand why people do not want to contribute.

I don't understand where it comes from? I find great peace and mental health in this lifestyle, even when things go wrong. If sailing makes you so upset, I do not understand why you continue to do it?

Dave, I believe it's just a function of our digital era that allows people, from the safety and relative comfort of their keyboard, to dash off something they may not say to your face. Therefore, my digital rule for myself is never write something I wouldn't say aloud to you in public, and never react to something the other person would never say aloud to me in public.

It can be rough here, but for me, as someone who lives in a place (Boston) where grumpy putdowns are a part of daily life, and whose career (journalism) involved being trolled far more maliciously and senselessly on Twitter, the egregious negativity and peevishness one might encounter on this forum is relatively rare, and easily avoidable.

Incidentally, the moderators, in addition to taking action to remove offensive posts and out-of-control threads, also encourage you to report privately to them posts that you find objectionable. Then it's between the member who agreed to the rules here versus the moderators who enforce them. I'd recommend that rather than confronting the offending poster directly.

However, I also find that if you respond to over-the-top posts with humility and humanity, very often that veneer of uncivil behavior can shed itself and the person behind the post reveals themself to be a person just like you. And someone with whom, if you encountered them on the dock, you would most likely chat amiably. How do I know that? In 50 years of sailing, I think I've been insulted in all seriousness to my face by another sailor twice, once because I did something stupid, and the other when a pleasure boat powerboat skipper had no idea he is the give-way vessel to a sailboat in the middle of a race. (As I said, jocular putdowns are a part of daily life in Boston.)

No one here with sailing and cruising experience is bereft of knowledge that may help you as you make your way. When I aim for that, and ignore the static, I find the forum to be a net positive worth supporting.

My $0.02 (plus $15)

[ADDENDUM: There is a point when even useful threads may descend into an off-the-rails argument between one or two aggrieved posters. That's when the "unsubscribe to this thread" button becomes a solid gold ticket to peace.]