Seasickness v. mental health

[pbmaise]

This last passage my spouse exhibited far more than just a typical case of seasickness. Waves were the largest he ever saw before, and one other crew member was also seasick and bedridden.

However, his behavior became odd enough that I put him in a hotel and bought a ticket to fly back.

Specifically:

1. I learned he had past anxiety disorder serious enough he was medicated.

2. Despite being now on solid ground, he complained he still could get zero sleep.

3. Despite being shown the bus to get to airport and having flown before he now claimed fear of flying and going on the bus by himself

4. It was like the seasickness triggered something far more serious that we are having to cope with.

Currently he has been one week off the boat and still complains of intense fear, high heart rate, and sleepless nights.

I went to the only available mental health professional and he proscribed two drugs for paranoid behaviors. However, he refuses to take any pills, including seasickness pills, because of negative reactions to prior pills proscribed for past mental health issues.

In 8 weeks I scheduled to leave again on a 2 month trip. Seas are not expected to be as rough. But could be at points.

We are trying to do cognitive behavioral therapy without the help of a professional. The one local source we have is a psychiatrist and is only a pill pusher and has "no time" for therapy that can takes weeks of work.

[a64pilot]

This is your Spouse doing this or the other crew member?
The one with the issue should not get back on a boat, I am no Dr., did not spend the night at a Hotel or whatever, but on a boat with no way to get help quickly or even get off quickly is not place for psychotic behavior.

Find a real Dr. We can give you all kinds of theories, and opinions, but most probably they won’t even be educated guesses, just uneducated ones.

[pbmaise]

I am in the Philippines.and he is my spouse and Filipino. The local psychiatrist said for CBT we would have to fly to Manila. Certainly we are not the only couple that have had to cope with an anxiety disorder. I am hoping others have learned how to continue sailing and cope with something more deeply seated than just motion sickness.

[Peregrine1983]

I’m not a mental health expert, but I’m wondering if this has less to do with “sea sickness” and more to do with this experience being deeply distressing for him.

[masonc]

For a lot of men, finding their limit can be difficult to deal with. The more machismo the culture, the harder it is to overcome. It sounds like he got really scared, and can't deal with accepting it. Serious sailing is not for him. He probably needs time and to refocus on something that is not sailing.

[Peregrine1983]

Also, I would imagine you can find mental health professionals who can do therapy via Skype or video chat.

[pbmaise]

Originally Posted by Peregrine1983

I’m not a mental health expert, but I’m wondering if this has less to do with “sea sickness” and more to do with this experience being deeply distressing for him.

What I have not said yet is why he was treated before. He has not fully told me all however I have been piecing this together. For the longest time I assumed he was a total non-drinker because his father was a chronic alcoholic.

It turns out this latest episode has led me to learn he used to have an uncontrolled drinking problem.

Hence he himself is and always will be a recovering alcoholic. It is just a guess, however, I am thinking the nausea of motion sickness has triggered memories of nausea caused by past alcoholic bouts.

He isn't afraid of sailing, however, he is desperately afraid of becoming an alcoholic again.

I found this tidbit about vomiting.

The fear of vomiting is often, but not always, triggered by a negative experience with vomiting. Although cases of stomach flu, overindulging in alcohol and food poisoning happen to everyone, it is easy to feel alone. The risk of emetophobia may be higher if you remember vomiting in public or experiencing a long night of uncontrollable vomiting.

This is sounding like our situation.

[pbmaise]

Originally Posted by Peregrine1983

Also, I would imagine you can find mental health professionals who can do therapy via Skype or video chat.

I located someone who claims they helped a spouse overcome fear of sailing and does Skype sessions.

We have another meeting today with the psychiatrist it turns out this is the very same person he saw 8 years ago who placed him on two antipsychotic drugs before owing to his anxiety brought on by alcoholic drink.

[pbmaise]

I have been researching https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emetophobia

I think another piece of the puzzle fleshes out. This past trip we had a guest aboard who was extremely seasick. She vomited constantly and her husband also brought on board a lot of alcohol and drank like a fish.

So there were two possible triggers aboard that helped trigger an intense prolonged anxiety attack.

I am also a non-drinker for other reasons and this past trip was the most alcohol he has seen on board.

Admittedly I am playing Google doctor trying to figure this out without resorting to medication and the psychiatrist pill pusher. However, I think I am on to something since alcoholism is one of the main precursors to this syndrome.

[john61ct]

Stay on land together, ideally in a location he is socially comfortable and / or good help is available.

Do not expect him to get back on a boat.

Great if he can one day, but accept now he may not.

[a64pilot]

I am no Dr. but if he is an alcoholic, being around alcohol has to be stressful, seeing it being drunk and smelling it would tax anyone.
It would seem prudent that he should never have to be around alcohol ever again.
In my opinion if your friends can’t understand without any explanation, well they aren’t friends.
As just a pure complete non medical person, I’d think it prudent that for now your sailing is over, concentrate on his needs, get to the bottom of what the issue is and see if you can address it, then only after being cleared by a medical professional, slowly start going out on day trips etc.

Maybe you don’t need a pill pusher, but I would find some form of professional medical assistance, I wouldn’t try to do this on your own.

[a64pilot]

Having just gone through a really bad experience with our Son that after months turned out OK. I can tell you that your doing the right thing to educate yourself as much as possible, and to pin the Dr’s down and politely make them explain to you what their opinion of what is going on is, and if it doesn’t match what Dr Google has told you, have them explain why.

[john61ct]

Yes to everything there.

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I’d think it prudent that for now your sailing is over, concentrate on his needs, get to the bottom of what the issue is and see if you can address it, then only after being cleared by a medical professional, slowly start going out on day trips etc.

but as to that last, only if he actively expresses a desire to do so.

The power dynamic here may mean OP could pressure him to do something, resulting in stresses that may not be explicitly dealt with, maybe not even conscious in his own awareness.

To me it is likelt the alcohol issue may be much less of a problem than being on a boat.

[Mr B]

My Passenger was seasick for 6 days straight, I even pulled into a river and ordered her off my boat,
Yes, It was that bad, She was endangering both of us and the boat too,
Gave her 50 bucks for a taxi to get to the airport and fly home,
I was sitting there thinking about it when she came back,
After a lot of talking, I reluctantly let her back on board,
We set sail and she was seasick again,

But remarkedly enough, She was never seasick when we hit bad weather and I told her to talk on the VHF to the ERS as I was too busy driving the boat,
Very calm talking on the VHF, but very seasick before and after,
She wasnt seasick for five weeks sailing around Fiji,

It wasnt till a long while after, I found her problem to be a Narcistic Sycopath,
Her seasickness was purely put on to annoy and upset me, Which it did,
Thankfully, She is long gone,

[john61ct]

What we criticize in others says more about ourselves.