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Old 04-12-2012, 20:27   #31
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Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass View Post
According to the article, on people's deathbeds a top regret seems to be:
"Suppressing feelings in order to keep peace with others".

Well, reading most threads here I think few CF members will have any regrets on that score
+1 !!!
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Old 04-12-2012, 20:28   #32
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I bet the mods regret it. Although Foolish Sailor is right there on the edge. Go Baby!
Must have been edited out by the time I got here.
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Old 04-12-2012, 20:52   #33
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

Major regret ? Not winning the Lotto years ago so I could spend the money on boats, wine, women and song and just blow the rest !
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Old 04-12-2012, 21:04   #34
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I have raised three brilliant, personable and self-sufficient children. I created and maintained a very successful and profitable architecture firm. Some people think I am being selfish going off to pursue my dream. I think I have played by society's rules and done what was expected -- it is my turn now. Regrets if I die tomorrow? No! But I would really like to make it through a season in the Eastern Caribbean before I go !!! God, please wait until I get to Grenada!
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Old 04-12-2012, 21:06   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kettlewell
It is not worth it having regrets on your death bed. Think of something you liked about life, relive the best moments, talk to loved ones if you can, look out the window, watch a movie you always wanted to see. The past is gone. Why worry about it? Does you no good.
Watch a movie you always wanted to see? Two things, on the final go round, you will not remember any movies you have not seen, and you will not remember the ones you would want to see again. So any movie is fine, and any stars, plot, etc because everything is always brand new.
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Old 04-12-2012, 21:26   #36
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

My father died this morning at 0226 at home in hospice care. He worked hard all his life to give me a better opportunity to live and enjoy my life to a fuller extent. He never regretted it at all. I was blessed with a father whose personal dreams took a back seat to mine. I pray for two things, one that I will always take full advantage of what he gave me and two that my daughter will feel somewhat the same when my time finally comes. Dad, thank you for all you've given me and rest in peace
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Old 04-12-2012, 21:30   #37
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Tellie, I am sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts are with you.
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Old 04-12-2012, 21:33   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tellie View Post
My father died this morning at 0226 at home in hospice care. He worked hard all his life to give me a better opportunity to live and enjoy my life to a fuller extent. He never regretted it at all. I was blessed with a father whose personal dreams took a back seat to mine. I pray for two things, one that I will always take full advantage of what he gave me and two that my daughter will feel somewhat the same when my time finally comes. Dad, thank you for all you've given me and rest in peace
Sorry man.

You can't ever be ready for your dad dying.
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Old 04-12-2012, 21:41   #39
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This thread is about regrets, but most of the posts are about the act of dying.

My regrets? None. Does no good to move dirt around from one pile in your memories to another pile, and move it back again. You can change today, and you can plan for tomorrow, but yesterday is a textbook for your future. Learn from it. You can also learn from the experiences of others, but that takes a wise young man to realize that before that opportunity slips by.

As for the dying aspect, this thread meandered into, I really do not want to live past the age of feeding myself, wiping my own ass, and enjoying each breath. When life becomes painful, dreadful, awful, or a constant chore to others, I will find an appropriate way to step off into bliss. Ideally I want to rest somewhere natural water shakes the ground, and the sounds are extreme. Any good stream coming down from a mountain would be fine.

Anyone mention the movie Bucket List? Pretty good movie.

For anyone pondering the meaning of life, fast forward this video clip to the 3:00 mark



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Old 04-12-2012, 21:47   #40
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Re: Top 5 regrets of the dying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass View Post
According to the article, on people's deathbeds a top regret seems to be:
"Suppressing feelings in order to keep peace with others".

Well, reading most threads here I think few CF members will have any regrets on that score
Heh. Yes, a certain frankness and willingness to share opinions is indeed the mark of the active sailor.

The most poignant for me is this one:

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."


I sometimes grumble and sigh that I waited until 40 to have a child, as I think I would have had more patience and sheer energy five years back or so. But the truth is that a kid brings back into life the opportunity to be silly, to laugh at crudity, and to trot out terrible, ancient jokes that, after all, your kid has never heard.


I find being a father has made me even less conformist than I was. I am fairly old-school in terms of chores and general "do it the first time I tell you, not the tenth time" issues, but I also find I'm far more willing to let my son screw up and learn from it than many other parents, who sometimes seem to me to be unhappy and neurotic and desperately lonely despite being in "nuclear families".


All I know about nuclear is that I go critical a few times a day. But I try to leaven that with fun and silliness.
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Old 04-12-2012, 21:53   #41
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

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I do not buy it. I think it is a mock.

Most people are just dead scared when they are dying. Except for those who got doped with morphine or other drugs.

b.
My dad made rude, Benny Hill-level jokes in the ambulance that took him to the hospice. He seemed relieved and not really upset at all, possibly because he got to a good age when by rights he should have been dead via Luftwaffe, U-boats, Antarctic whaling, any number of pub fights, and air travel of the dodgiest sort. He also was an immigrant, and was the first in his generation to own both a car and a house.

Maybe if you live life fully early on, you don't feel regret at the end, but gratitude. It would be incorrect to say I haven't been influenced by his example, even if the circumstances of our lives are radically different.
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Old 04-12-2012, 22:04   #42
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Kids make death less spooky. Not like I'm fine with dying now, but seeing new people show up in the world makes my own death at hopefully an old age seem like a part of the process.

The same system that lets my kids be born and grow means I die. Fair trade.
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Old 04-12-2012, 22:16   #43
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

I only regret having done nothing at all really, nothing risky or illegal or immoral, no matter what you may have heard. ;-)
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Old 04-12-2012, 22:26   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kettlewell View Post
It is not worth it having regrets on your death bed. Think of something you liked about life, relive the best moments, talk to loved ones if you can, look out the window, watch a movie you always wanted to see. The past is gone. Why worry about it? Does you no good.
But the truth is we don't really know what does any good since we don't know what comes next. If you believe in reincarnation maybe regrets prepare you the next. Who knows?
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Old 04-12-2012, 22:27   #45
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Re: Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

Research shows that humans have an incredible capacity for self-delusion. More importantly, we believe the stories we tell ourselves (whether they are "true" or not). Given this, I seriously doubt that the majority of people express great regret on their death bed, no matter what you've done, or haven't done.
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