Do You Know of Anyone Who Quit Right Away ?

[sww914]

I've often wondered when reading threads here asking questions like do you love cruising or how long have you been cruising or even how much do you spend, how many people gave up right away?
I feel that those that chickened out or were sidelined by health problems or even financial problems probably aren't represented here and they probably aren't advertising their inability to continue.
Any guesses about how often we utterly fail?

When my wife was a Coastie they once towed in a couple who had just taken off to go cruising. They got into some bad weather and got pretty beat up the first few days out and had to be rescued.
After a day long tow they tied up the sailboat and he, then she, came up the ladder to the dock looking really bad. She was barely able to climb by herself and she was wet, tired, bruised, and green.
She only said 3 words:
You're
selling
it.

Somehow I think they're not posting on this board.

[Bash]

I've known three couples who quit in their first year. One couple quit because they were unable to handle their boat, the second quit because they had to spend so much time on repairs and maintenance that cruising seemed "too much like a job," and the third couple, who had moved aboard with two large dogs, claimed to have quit because the dogs were not happy.

[SaltyMonkey]

That's the thing. They never tally the failures (both decisions and the bad luck), only the successes. Doesn't sell the magazine covers, or is marginalized as being "negative". But I wonder the real number of how many people quit or fail each year, and the reality of it all given more people are out there these days supposedly .

[rusky]

Every now and then, there is a great bargain to be bought!!!

from someone who may not have done enough homework

I think you need to have salt water in your veins at some level before you do something insanely stupid like buy a cruising yacht. [We have this in common]

We met this couple who would never sail at night, they would get out of bed at 0730, breakfast and head off by 0830am. They would stop at some anchorage (good or bad) by 1630. They would not listen to any recomendations/advice. They were completely stuck in their routine regardless!


As a result of the way they did things, they had many many rolly, poor anchorages and were thoroughly disalusioned after about a month. Their yacht sold fairly quickly and they headed back 'home' during their first season.


The purchasers got a great little boat for a great price.

[MarkJ]

The funniest one was the woman in a 20 foot Flicka set out amidst fanfare of media etc to circumnavigate the world.... except she hadnt actually sailed her yacht (or others) went out from the US east coast and on the first night hit a squally, came back in and put the boat on the market for $100,000! LOLOL

Worst one was in Malaysia when the cruisers woke up to find on of their fellow crusiers up the mast. Well, half way up. He'd hung himself. Parts of the engine all over the saloon... bank account empty. Son put that boat on the market - no takers - Marina towed the boat over the other side of the bay, stole the dinghy for a work boat and everyone forgot about it all...


Also seen everything in between from a paedophile incident wrecking the voyage and splitting the family; bored women shopping till the couple is broke; men shopping for boat parts and nothing for the woman till she leaves; guys who boat a fixer-upper and realise that means the tub is buggered; and a myriad of financial woes....

Rusky may be right that occasionally a bargain comes up, but real bargains would be snapped up by people in the know (brokers etc) the rest would be failed piles of junk home butchered by morons too poor to fix it properly.

If this sounds like a depressing diatribe its just meant to say there is a reality out there. Those that fail don't talk about it. Those planning to go are often so brain deluded (rebuilding a boat for 5 years is a classic example... then when finished they realise they can't sail and hate it anyway, and they're broke!). People need to sweep the stary-eyed dreams away from their 2 IQ point brains.... and how is the best way to do that? By going sailing before planning!

[goboatingnow]

Given that most "cruising couples" actgually comprise a man that has varying degress of sailing experience and in general a women who is tagging along " for her man". IN this case the cruise has to be planned around thw womens expectations until she gets the confidence and decides she up for it as an independant decision.

Hence that may mean pickinga crusiing area that can essentially be day sailed ( or day and night), staying in more marinas then you might like or afford. But the alternative is diaster. I cringe when I hear newbies talk about "ocean crossings etc".

Dave

[Talbot]

When I bought my first boat, I discovered that the first owner and his wife, plus their friend and wife who had also bought the same type of boat had sailed as soon as the hull was wet through the french canals for the mediterranean. When they arrived both couples locked up their boats, returned to UK and divorced. The boats were sold as part of the divorces.

The message surely must be to establish that the intended long distance voyage is both your dream otherwise make some other arrangement.

[goboatingnow]

most couples in my experience, break up over living in a small space constantly with their partner, not because of the sailing etc, but becuase they cant love together in a small space and in close proximity to each other for long periods.

Dave

[Pelagic]

I always get a bit nervous when people get that far away look in their eyes and start to talk in hushed tones about their “Dreams”

I do not feel uncomfortable around the ones that have lived on a boat for a while, but those who have read a few good books and are ‘inspired”

I’m ok with a person who is already happy and successful with their present life ashore but wants to try something new, I just feel sorry for the kind of person who thinks this nautical “dream” will somehow magically fix all the negative shore based issues and that they believe those issues will not be carried as unwelcome baggage aboard.

I guess what I am trying to say and Mark has given some pretty graphic examples is that those that Quit, never really understood, or were prepared for the realities.

Illness and other unforeseen reasons aside, thank god they quit as they do not make good anchorage companions.

[RiverRat]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

I just feel sorry for the kind of person who thinks this nautical “dream” will somehow magically fix all the negative shore based issues

Originally Posted by MarkJ;

Those planning to go are often so brain deluded (rebuilding a boat for 5 years is a classic example... then when finished they realise they can't sail and hate it anyway, and they're broke!). People need to sweep the stary-eyed dreams away from their 2 IQ point brains....

TRUE!!

As a "newer than new" newbie I often wonder when I read these people post that they've never sailed and they want to cruise full time on an extremely limited budget and can't wait to get out there and leave all their cares behind. What are they running from? Do they think there's a different gene pool of people out there? The a-hole neighbor that cuts his grass at 5am is going to be the guy running his generator in the otherwise peaceful anchorage. The boss that tells him what to do all the time is gonna be the port manager or the coast guard or customs official, etc. The dead end job is going to be the never ending boat maintenance. etc.

Sometimes I think they feel competitive and feel like they have to show that they can do it too. 'Well, if YOU can circumnavigate I can too'. LOL I'm here to tell you that my husband and I canNOT do it! hahaha We know ourselves and we know our limitations. We have a lot of great talents and attributes. Sailing around the world, multi-day/week overnight passages, on the fly engine repairs are not some of them. We'll be doing the rest of you a favor and staying close to shore. We 'might' work our way up to going from Florida to the Bahama's but I'm not betting on it.

If we quit coastal crusing after a year or so, I won't feel like a failure so much as we tried it. It wasn't for us. We'll move on to something else. But, we won't have pretended it was a 'do or die' passion. Or jumped in over our heads. Who knows. We might love it and wonder why we didn't do it sooner!

K

[Tellie]

I just finished another boat show. I get a chance to speak to people in all stages of "The Dream" My gut feeling is, and I don't keep stats so I'm generalizing, that for every fifty people that want to go fifteen of them will eventually buy a boat. Out of that fifteen five will give up because they had no idea what a boat really costs to maintain much less fix and outfit and will sell their boat within two years because they bought the wrong boat. Out of the ten left four will spend all their money buying every new electronic gadgets, etc. the magazine and Internet forum folks tell them they must absolutely have to prove themselves worthy of being called real cruisers to everyone else. Of the six left two will never leave the dock for more than a weekend or week type cruises. They will finally give up because most find that sailing is not all Palm trees and Rum Punch. They find they just can't cut the land based ties of homes, children, family members and friends whose constant "Are you NUTS" finally wears them down. These eleven boats will soon be for sale for the next crop of dreamers. Of the four left three will get offshore, usually to close by Islands or further up the coast of their home port and become constant posters on the forums. The one or two that truly make it we hear from once in a blue moon. We see them every year or so at the shows. They come by to say Hi and tell their stories and never really buy anything because they've learned. These are just observations, not scientific results. I don't take into account the many variables like people with more money than sense, people who what to attempt fame by breaking ridiculous records, racers and people who can survive cruising on $29.35 a month, etc. This is an very expensive hobby. Most peoples dream is bigger than their bank account. Most people would have been happier if instead of that brand new 42 Lagoon they took half of it's cost and spent it cruising around the world in the finest of cruise ships. Then of course there are my favorites, the die hard, stubborn, independant, butt busting, free thinking, can do types. The kind we often see posting on this forum.

[newlazydays]

I think Mark hit it right on the head! Reality is often not nice!

Some years ago I met a couple who had cruised round the world. They told me that if their boat had not had two heads they would have separated long ago. And they were dead serious. Small issues can get very big pretty quickly on a long sea voyage.

[Pelagic]

Great post Tellie and I am glad 5 or 6 days at the Lauderdale Show has not left you a wee bit cynical…LOL!

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by newlazydays

I think Mark hit it right on the head! Reality is often not nice!

Some years ago I met a couple who had cruised round the world. They told me that if their boat had not had two heads they would have separated long ago. And they were dead serious. Small issues can get very big pretty quickly on a long sea voyage.

yes...two heads are better than one!

[ReMetau]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

most couples in my experience, break up over living in a small space constantly with their partner, not because of the sailing etc, but becuase they cant love together in a small space and in close proximity to each other for long periods.

Dave

Funny, but this is one the things I love about living on our 33' for 5 years now. I love the closeness I experience with my wife and best friend.

Agree with others though, that the relationship has to be solid, because a boat won't fix it.