Admiral?

[deepblueln]

Well darn it, you mean we're not even original over here?? :P

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by deepblueln

Well darn it, you mean we're not even original over here?? :P

Don't you know that there's nothing new under the sun?

[swflguy]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Ah, finally someone has asked the question .

From my point of view, if their name is not being revealed here on CF, then just refer to them as "my wife/partner/friend/daughter/niece" or whatever the case may be.
If sailing duties are not being shared equally and their role on board is being described, then "skipper/crew" keeps it accurate and simple .

What you call them face to face is a matter between the two of you .

It is hard to believe this thread has continued so long. May as well add my $0.02. My wife has much more cruising experience than I having been crew & cook on private sportfishing yachts off California before we met years ago. Now with children raised, we are learning to sail the Chesapeake and hope to be cruising in a few years.

I call my wife the Perfect Mate She likes the term. However, next time we're out, I think I'll try call her Deck Candy

[Sailor g]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

I guess Janice and Smart Move won't be joining us, ladies. Raku?

Blue Crab, Seaworthy Lass, Smart Move, Janice142, Rakuflames and me too?

Sounds like a party! Or a work detail.. BC is a smart fellow!

[gwmort]

Originally Posted by Rakuflames

Every time a man calls his wife the "admiral," he's saying she's bossy and must be appeased even though he has the "real" knowledge.

I disagree.

We are just getting started in sailing, my wife isn't interested in taking any classes, and is basically deferring to me for everything boat related. I'll get her to the point where she'll be safe if something happens to me, but we have a way to go.

If I use the term Admiral to refer to her I mean it out of respect. I mean to show her that while she may defer to my skills to handle a particular situation (such as they are), that she has the ultimate veto on our voyaging plans. If she isn't happy or has had enough, thats it. I mean it to include her in the decision making and not let her see herself as just a passenger.

I would be much happier if she were co-captain, and maybe she will be someday, but for now I want her to know I appreciate her willingness to try it and defer to her choice to continue or not.

Happy wife = Happy life

[sailorboy1]

My wife told me she read this thread the other day. She said it was .................... "stupid and full of babies".

[SmartMove]

Originally Posted by Don L

My wife told me she read this thread the other day. She said it was .................... "stupid and full of babies".

Have you ducked under the table yet !

[skipmac]

Originally Posted by swflguy

I call my wife the Perfect Mate She likes the term. However, next time we're out, I think I'll try call her Deck Candy

Just let us know the hospital where we should send the flowers.

[goboatingnow]

Originally Posted by Rakuflames

Like the December I went into West Marine to buy my chart plotter, having just bought this boat a few weeks previously.

The salesman said, "And is this the model your husband wants?"

I just said yes. What was the point? Later I went in with questions and it all got worked out but it was my little private joke at the time.

I once went to a mothers and toddlers group ( with a toddler) , a pedophile would have felt more at home. Everyone has their hangups

Davec

[Ocean Girl]

Vote no for Admiral, it's never come up with my husband, he calls me sweet enduring things. The admiral thing always reminds me that there is a strong and healthy boys club in the sailing world. Before I was married I owned a few boats, was the only female in the 100ton license class, and seemed to always surprise men to see me hop aboard my boat like I own it. My favorite is the look behind maneuver....I come out of my boat to see who is knocking, the guy looks behind me to see if the captain is aboard. It never really made me mad, sometimes it was fun to surprise people. But it did get old at times always having to bring them up to speed.

But I think the OP was just looking for definition, which she got :-). Though the progression of this thread does bring out the darker side of what women have to put up with at times, boat or no boat. Please don't assume because I'm female the bed or laundry service will be my focus. I just did a hard sell for replacing the water and holding tank PVC lids with fiberglassed in lids. yahoo! And I want the keel bolts reseated for my birthday, gal likes to feel confidence in the keel beneath her.

There is a salon called boat candy right down the road, after getting over the inital shock of such a demeaning name, we ( my hubby and I) crack up thinking what kind of business owner would think such a name would bring in clients,who the heck would want to patronize such a place?

I'm pretty easy going, I hope , I don't see real malice just the habit of tradition, the boys club tradition.

Hope that made sense and contributed in a constructive way, some really good posts here,
Cheers,
Erika

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

I once went to a mothers and toddlers group ( with a toddler) , a pedophile would have felt more at home. Everyone has their hangups

Davec

Lol - at least you were taking a toddler in............

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Ah, finally someone has asked the question .

From my point of view, if their name is not being revealed here on CF, then just refer to them as "my wife/partner/friend/daughter/niece" or whatever the case may be.
If sailing duties are not being shared equally and their role on board is being described, then "skipper/crew" keeps it accurate and simple .

What you call them face to face is a matter between the two of you .

The reason men use the term Admiral is it takes too long to say

"I'm the Captain of this boat and I have my wife's permission to say so"



ok - no hitting please! just shoot me down in flames

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by OldFrog75

C'mon ladies. Certainly you're all familiar with the saying, "happy wife, happy life". Or, "when Mom's unhappy, everyone is unhappy". On land men clear things with their wives first. On the water they run it by the "Admiral". No big deal.

The only guy I ever heard say "happy wife, happy life" was a complete pig (the mc type). You don't see them much any more.

And the saying is "When Mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!" But that relates to mothers and children, not husbands and wives. My husband didn't marry his mama. I'm real sure about that, because I met her.

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by SmartMove

Thank you for bringing some reality back to this thread!

There's a bunch of reality on this thread. It's not "reality" here but "perceptions."

Any man who calls a woman "Admiral" knowing that she doesn't like it is being a snarky SOB.

If they were married, I would say they have more issues than that one word.

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by SmartMove

I guess I'm not invited to the party, huh? While I don't subscribe to the whole admiral thing myself, I can see both sides of the coin on this one.

Sure. It's all about how it comes across to the person being called Admiral. If the woman doesn't mind or likes it, no problem. If she says "I hate it when you call me admiral," the man communicates a great deal by whether he keeps using it or not.