The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[MicHughV]

I believe the politically correct way to say that is

vaaaa-ja-jeehhh

[GordMay]

A cruise ship get badly damaged by an iceberg.

Passengers crowd on the deck.
It is obvious they need to jump into the water, but it's cold, and three particular groups of tourists are hesistant.

The Captain walks up to the first group, who are Americans, tells them something and they all jump.
He goes to the second group, who are German, tells them something and they all jump.
He goes to the final group, says something and nobody jumps. After a minute, one person jumps. Then another. Then another. Then they all jump.

First mate later asks what he said.

"I told the Americans it was patriotic. I told the Germans it was an order".

"And the third group?"

"Those were Russians. I told them it was forbidden."


***


Apparently, many cannibals agree that people, that have been in multiple shipwrecks, taste better.
You could say, that they prefer seasoned survivors.

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by Jamme

Attachment 254402

What’s the matter? Wasn’t it long enough to get in the picture?

[jeanathon]

I should have posted this yesterday on Pi day.


Chuck Norris once counted to infinity. Twice.

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[sailMary]

A Russian general hears a voice from behind a hill: "A single Ukrainian is worth 10 Russian soldiers".
The general sends ten soldiers to kill the Ukrainian. No one comes back.

The voice shouts again: "A single Ukrainian is worth 100 Russian soldiers".
The general sends a hundred of his best soldiers. No one comes back.

Third time, same voice: "A single Ukrainian is worth 1,000 Russian soldiers".
The generals sends one thousand soldiers, the best of the best.

After some time, a single one comes back, covered in blood: "it's a trap! There's two of them".


(from here)

[jeanathon]

Good first post sailMary.

[GordMay]

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Mary.

[Montanan]

[sailMary]

Thanks! Happy to be here

[Montanan]

My wife said: "Our new neighbors are so in love. He kisses her, strokes her hair, hugs her. Why don't you do that?"

Me: "Because I don't know her that well yet."

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1647466949

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1647468734