Too many guests ! How do I deal?! What do I do!?

[gsuescum]

Too many guests ! How do I deal?!

Looking for advice but this is really more of a rant than anything else. How do you guys handle all the guests and people wanting to vacation with you? What have been your experiences, good and bad?

We live on our boat. Starting our third year… we splashed in November. We’ve already had one set of guests and between now (Dec) and July have 7 sets of future guests (family & friends) that want to come vacation with us. The list of people wanting to come will most likely grow (I know of at least 3 more). Because they are coming ‘so far’ they want to stay a week. That’s almost two months with of guests as of now. I know some will bail out but others will take their place.

I feel it’s too much.

As you cruisers know, guests, no matter how much you love them, no matter how lovely and wonderful they are, no matter how much you’re dying to see them, they are a lot of work.. Provisioning, cooking cleaning before and after, xtra water making, activity planning, dinghy ferrying (trust a few but most not), etc. etc. We live here, they are on vacation so it’s like running a charter.

Our first guests came for 4 nights a few weeks ago. Some of our best friends in the world and the best possible guests and we really wanted to see them. It was soooo much fun and a lot of work. The 4 night visit kept us in Grenada almost three weeks longer than we wanted and now we are our our way up the Caribbean, skipping islands we wanted to visit, to meet our next guests who arrive in 10 days.

I feel like we are chasing airports and locking ourselves down to certain islands. It’s kind of a bummer and causes some stress between me and my wife.

If we tell people (especially family) sorry, they don’t always understand and get their feelings hurt. (“you guys are retired, you have all the time in the world”)

I know there is the “you come to the boat, the boat doesn’t go to you rule” but to some degree you still end up going to them.

How do you guys handle all the guests and vacationers? What have been your experiences, good and bad?

[Sailingallday]

Open mouth
Say No
Close mouth

[Sam Woodbridge]

I've learned not to say, "how much I love what I'm doing" "how spectacular and crazy excited I am over cruising" "how beautiful and surreal southeast Alaska can be."

In short, I seriously downplay what I'm doing to family and friends. Vistors can be great, but they are usually a TON of work.

[Grith]

I am happy to accomodate occasional guests onboard and my partner much less so.
Hence we now rarely invite anyone on board for overnight or longer stays when cruising together despite my previous history of doing so.
Happy wife happy life!
I have taken to leaving my relatively new partner of four years onshore for occasionally short cruises with my daughter or old sailing friends.
I was just thrilled to find someone to share my sailing adventures on a longer term basis later in life to retire to go extended sailing/exploring/expeditioning with.
We do have the luxury however of a remote and very cheap waterside home base with yacht jetty that we frequently return to between distant multi week/month cruising trips together.
Our yacht is also fairly small.
I can sympathise especially if permanently living on your yacht as that is far more challenging again to accommodate guests.
It’s tough when your chosen life is so appealing to old friends and family who often also think they can almost freeload into a very cost effective for them holiday.
As stated by others you may have to learn to just say no.

[psk125]

Coordinating with "guests" means they have to get to where YOU are, not you going to pick them up at their most convenient airport. "You're arriving in Nassau on the 10th? Gee, not sure we'll be able to get there until the 14th or 15th. Can you hop a flight to Man O'War instead?" Or perhaps: "Sorry, but we got becalmed for three days last week and are still in Antigua. How do you like your hotel? Are there any good restaurants there?" People will learn not to take advantage of you. And you can invite them when YOU want to see them.

[chrisr]

we have a similar problem

this year 4 groups, for 2-4 weks each. as much as we love them, it adds up ! fortunately we have plenty of space...but

rule # 1 is not to let collection / drop off of guests dictate a schedule. we know folk who have spent 2-3 days bashing into 25k headwinds to get guests to their disembarkation point.

sorry, but this is what local ferries / flights are for !

rule # 2 is ensure you have a good break between visitors...it takes us at least a month to recover

finally, on the plus side : apart from enjoying the company of friends and family when visiting, we always give visitors a shopping list of boatd parts to bring with them - and then there is the duty free !

cheers,

[5BTM]

The few friends I have don't like sailing.

My four children, except for one, have no interest in sailing, two have not even
seen or been on my boat. The one has an Albacore 15.

Do what I do, don't invite anyone.

Use insurance as an excuse, if you need one, tell them cargo is not covered:-)

[wholybee]

What a weird problem. I listened to all my family and friends say they missed me and wanted me to come home. Not once did any of them ever inquire about visiting me.(actually, I did have 1 friend visit me in Fiji for 2 weeks, but it was only after I invited her)

If you really have a problem with to many people wanting to visit you, I have to ask myself, "why?" Are you being too accommodating? Are you covering your guests costs, paying for airfare, or food, alcohol, etc. while they are with you? If you are giving out free vacations, sign me up.

If you are just so awesome of a person that everyone wants to be around you, then you need to learn to say "no."

Guest I would think should not be much work. They come to you, you don't meet them anywhere. And they cook, clean, take care of themselves, and simple enjoy doing what you would do anyway. If you are catering to them like your boat is a charter, you are doing it wrong.

[Joh.Ghurt]

I don’t take anyone for less than 10 days. One week is just stress with arrival and departure. That cuts down the number of requests.

Managing your location helps a lot too. When I want guests, I’ll be close to a convenient airport. If not, travelling to my location will be a hassle and kills easy plans. “Sorry, I’ll be out in the boonies, you’ll have to make it there.” I enjoy being out for a few weeks without much need to go to marinas or bigger towns. That also helps if some want to come for 10 days, but I intend to go out for 4 weeks. They’ll have to find a way back from the boonies.

Finally a good advice for other solo-sailors: Don’t invite different women back to back as guests. Give yourself some buffer time in between to avoid difficult stories. Having them meet by accident in the cockpit while you’re out sorting things out at the marina office and having a shower is only fun as a story later over a glass of rum.

[JPA Cate]

Hello Luna,

Well that's a huge boat! I'm sure it is a LOT of cleaning to do between guests. Most landlubbers have no idea how to keep small on boats. Who make the best ones are people who have done a lot of backpacking.

I think Chrisr has given good advice, and i would add to consider hiring professional cleaners to do the pre-guest and post-guest cleanings. Maybe even a nice daysail in exchange for the cleaning.

I think it might also lighten some of the burden if you share housekeeping jobs with them while they are aboard. They keep their heads clean, for instance, and you provide what's needed for that, and make it clear beforehand that you do not provide maid service, that they are to keep their space clean and tidy. It's not hard if you stay on top of it.

Make sure they understand about conserving water, none of this leaving the water running while they brush their teeth or shower. [We used to do a water run together after we pick them up, jerry jugging water back to the boat. It's one way to help them understand that supplies are limited.]

When you make "dates" for visitation, make it clear they should come to you, and if you aren't there, they will have to find somewhere to stay, if you are unlikely to be able to be there. You cannot always arrange to pick them up at the airport.

We've had some come for a week, some for a lot longer. Do remember, though, that they pay a lot for transport, I can understand them not wanting to pay that much for 2 or 3 days. They spend their whole vacation time with you if they're US based.

You guys need to figure out how to keep it fun by getting the guests to bear the burden of lightening your load. Whatever is reasonable that you both agree on.

Ann

[mvweebles]

A long time cruiser once told me her advice: "You can pick 'when,' or you can pick 'where.' Not both." They could plan about 2-weeks in advace which meant plane tickets for guests could be expensive, but they did not accept the burden. It was up to the guest to decide what worked for them.

Slightly different, but when we moved to Florida, we had a lot of visitors which was great. I had one rule: they had to rent a car for themselves. Drove my wife a bit nuts because she wanted to be the host-with-the-most. Over time, she definitely came around. Frankly, let us have more visitors because it was easier for us.

[thinwater]

Tell stories about bad weather, sea sickness, fear, and injuries. Also fixing stuff in the middle of no where.

[Kettlewell]

Start telling them about pirates, storms, and repairs!

[MicHughV]

Such an easy question.
No easy answer.

I've had both good and bad experiences.

The good was very good, the bad was extremely bad. No middle ground here.

Personal habits and quirks quickly come to the fore, especially those of the hygiene or personal nature.

It helps to sit your guests down and go over do's and don't's onboard.

Arrange for "quiet time". Take guests ashore and leave them their to do their own thing. Promise to be back in 8 hours to pick them up.

Never, ever, go anywhere far from the airport they are to fly from.

Clothing requirements onboard can be a tough one. Make guests understand that there is little privacy onboard.

Alcohol consumption invariably comes into play. There are those that can handle alcohol and those that don't.

Night swims are to be avoided.

Just a short list of things that spring to mind.

[Kettlewell]

Tell stories about bad weather, sea sickness, fear, and injuries. Also fixing stuff in the middle of no where.

Great minds think alike!