Social aspects of cruising and living-aboard

[GreyBeardVA]

I'll soon be joining the ranks of live-aboard cruisers. My plan is to live in a marina for 1,2, or 3 months per year as necessary to allow me to earn some $$. I've read everything I can find on budgeting for the change and believe that I currently have sufficient resources to purchase the boat and to finance frugal-to-moderate living expenses for the rest of my life (obviously, there are assumptions); however, I do not want to completely sever myself from work for another 2-3 years (I'm 51 this year and wanted to continuing working PT until 55).

I have lingering questions about expectations:
I live alone but occasionally date; what expectations should I have for dating in the cruising / live-aboard community? I'm not looking for a new wife just someone willing to clean the head, do the dishes and laundry, etc. Seriously, if any women are reading this I am joking. Is there any hope of meeting like-minded single women without trying to convert a land-bound woman.

Thanks for any insights.

[Stu Jackson]

Sailors are people, too! Two feet, two hands, two heads sometimes. Why should this be any different than any other "dating scene?" It's how you feel about yourself that attracts other people. Good luck.

[zeehag]

entering into anything with EXPECTATIONS will limit your experience as it will NOT be as you EXPECT it to be.

just live. enjoy life. make your life happen. is how it works.

[rebel heart]

I'm married with kids so I haven't been in the dating world for a while. It certainly seems like it's much easier to meet people as a sailor, at least in foreign locales. When people show up somewhere new they generally have no friends and since people are generally gregarious the domino-nights and triva-nights start up somewhere.

In your hometown you have somewhere you can go and have a built in social network. If you're outgoing and like people you (and others) will be starved for that in a new country. In San Blaas, Mexico there is a little place called the San Blaas Social Club which is nothing more than a simple bar and a courtyard with some tables and chairs. Regardless, it's where all the expats go.

If you speak a country's native language, your odds go through the roof. There are a lot of countries where men treat women like crap. Basic civility, respect, and a door opened here and there for your date will propel you into the upper echelons of chivalry.

[Cheechako]

most the live aboard single men I've known met a land based woman and sold the boat. Just sayin'.....

[GreyBeardVA]

Sorry, apparently I did not clearly explain my question. I am happily single. I am not looking for anything from anyone else; however, I do enjoy the company of women especially if we can share experiences together. I have found it difficult to find a woman who lives a traditional life willing to make the "dramatic change" that would accommodate the cruising / live-aboard lifestyle. The last woman I dated (for several months) said, in the early stage of our relationship, that she wanted to get away from it all to live a simpler life. After several months she expanded on her definition of what "simpler life" meant to her: "find a place in a third-tier city where there's less traffic." Not exactly chuck it all away and move onto a boat material.

So, all I'm asking is whether or not I should plan on spending time in the marina's host city to date or if there are like-minded women in the cruising / live-aboard community.

[GreyBeardVA]

Originally Posted by Cheechako

most the live aboard single men I've known met a land based woman and sold the boat. Just sayin'.....

That's exactly what I was expecting.

Thank you.

[GreyBeardVA]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

Sailors are people, too! Two feet, two hands, two heads sometimes. Why should this be any different than any other "dating scene?" It's how you feel about yourself that attracts other people. Good luck.

My assumption based on reading blogs, forums, etc. is that the cruising / live-aboard community is dominated by people in relationships sharing the experience. I've not seen much evidence of single women cruisers that's why I asked the question. Are there single women cruisers? Are there marina groupies longing for the cruising life?

[Cheechako]

But there are some single women out there sailing or looking for a ride too. Seen them at crusing potlucks! Sounds like you just want to find dates... might be a bit hard trying to do that just in the cruising community, but that isnt necessary for just dating anyway right?
They might be crewing on a large boat or etc, but have decided they'd like a longer term cruising experience. If you want more than just dating I would suggest you go to all the sailing social functions you can find, pot lucks, cruising clubs etc.

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by GreyBeardVA

So, all I'm asking is whether or not I should plan on spending time in the marina's host city to date or if there are like-minded women in the cruising / live-aboard community.

Nawh, you'll never meet any quality people, no matter where you go!

OTOH, you're probably a very nice skipper and you'll do VERY well.

Geez, Louise, how can WE tell?

Good luck, wherever you go.

[zeehag]

btw...in this lifestyle there actually many single females sailing. they use anchorages and marinjas just like single sailing males. you might find, once you finally go cruising that you dont have a problem and social life is just as it was on land, only you are living a different lifestyle than you used to live.

[GreyBeardVA]

Originally Posted by zeehag

btw...in this lifestyle there actually many single females sailing. they use anchorages and marinjas just like single sailing males. you might find, once you finally go cruising that you dont have a problem and social life is just as it was on land, only you are living a different lifestyle than you used to live.

On the one hand I thought that females sailing alone probably would not want to advertise themselves openly out of concerns for their safety. On the other hand, I thought maybe there are very few females sailing solo. Thank you for the insight.

[motion30]

Many of the single woman I meet. See me as the homeless guy who lives on. A boat

[zeehag]

¨On the one hand I thought that females sailing alone probably would not want to advertise themselves openly out of concerns for their safety. On the other hand, I thought maybe there are very few females sailing solo. Thank you for the insight.¨






is more an observation as i am out here cruising currently, and have been cruising since 2008.

motion--are you within the borders of usa?? sounds as if you are, by your self description. outside usa is a different story. and mebbe you seek from a different pool than appreciates our lifestyle.

[Sailor_Hutch]

Originally Posted by GreyBeardVA

Sorry, apparently I did not clearly explain my question. I am happily single. I am not looking for anything from anyone else; however, I do enjoy the company of women especially if we can share experiences together. I have found it difficult to find a woman who lives a traditional life willing to make the "dramatic change" that would accommodate the cruising / live-aboard lifestyle. The last woman I dated (for several months) said, in the early stage of our relationship, that she wanted to get away from it all to live a simpler life. After several months she expanded on her definition of what "simpler life" meant to her: "find a place in a third-tier city where there's less traffic." Not exactly chuck it all away and move onto a boat material.

So, all I'm asking is whether or not I should plan on spending time in the marina's host city to date or if there are like-minded women in the cruising / live-aboard community.

It's like the question of whether to fix the old boat or get one that's ocean-ready. The female sailors are already there, having chucked everything but the salty water. You'll be in the right place. Put on your best smile and wait. Is my tongue in my cheek? I'm married, so disregard everything I said (wrote).

Except for Geo Clooney, everyone is happily single until they aren't.