Convincing wife to liveaboard?

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by scgilligan

I guess this also depends on what type of life you have/want off the boat..Charleston has a lot going on. You may not be right down the street from a large grocery store, but the city is very walkable and has great architecture, etc. Great restaurants, shops, etc.
From what I have seen through minor research, marina space is expensive and seems a little hard to find..the cheaper places around town are booked up and have waiting lists of 2 years. There are a couple on the Ashley River that are nice, but expensive..I was down there looking at a boat on Saturday.
There are some on the Cooper as well, but waiting lists on 1 and the other has not returned my request for information.
Beaufort would be good as you suggested..they are putting in a mooring field that will run 200/mo, but it is a work in progress..although I think "progress" is the operative word there- as in there has not been any. Lol..

The marinas on the Ashely down town have no shopping close by. Charleston down town is strictly tourist orientated. It's the cash cow. I am not sure about Folly Beach. There were a couple on the Folly River, I had a boat at Marinas Cay which is on James Island. The Folly was tricky as was Stono inlet. Had one at the Stono Marina, I believe part of Buzzards Roost today, Johns Island. The Charleston City Marina and Tolers Cove in Mt. Pleasant. I just don't see a live aboard environment here? I may well be wrong.

[Capt_Flrp]

My wife and I were in our upper 30's when we met. I told her right away that I would someday like to live on a boat. She didn't really take me seriously. I kept reading sailing magazines, read Capt Fatty Goodlander and other articles to her. After several years we decided to get a boat and sail on Lake Michigan. You know, the weekender and occasional vacation thing. Then, one day I signed her up for some "Women for Sail" classes at the Strictly Sail show in Chicago. She was always good for a weekend away. She was truly impressed when she saw the long term sailing couples, the Hal Roth and his wife and a couple of others and the way they shared in everything, completed each other, interacted, obviously loved each other. On the drive home, she suddenly said, "We need to do that!" I nearly drove off the road. Do what? You know, live aboard and travel. That was the end of the discussion. We sold the house, car, truck, gave the kids a chance to pick out anything(s) they wanted from our "estate" and sailed away. We were only able to do it for about a year, but what a year! She frequently says she wishes we could still do it.

[Mark Stillwell]

Grady Bunch,

I agree with oldragbaggers book recommendation.


This is another excellent book: It's Your Boat Too: A Woman's Guide to Greater Enjoyment on the Water by Suzanne Giesemann (Author)

Be sure and read the books too!

[Hudson Force]

Maybe I "cheated"! I was already planning to live aboard before I met the lady I would marry. I took her sailing on my little 12' boat while we were in college.
When we married we were already shopping for a live aboard boat. We bought our first boat for moving aboard together two and a half years after we first met.

Yes, I cheated. I married someone who shared my dreams!

[CarlF]

I forgot to say in the previous post that my list is for living aboard in a marina with a job ashore most of the time.

If I was cruising in the islands or doing a circumnavigation, it would be a different list.

Get a boat that fits your needs today. You can always get another one if your needs change.

.

[HighTemp]

My wife finally bought into the concept of living aboard, but it took a few months of steady sailing around the Texas Gulf Coast. I suspect that the transformation in her view was made during weekend on a 45ft Cat while taking our ASA 114 class. Upon completion of the class, she looked at me and said, " Honey, I could live on this!" Before that she always had a bit of hesitation because all of our time has been spent on a 40ft monohull. She simply feels more comfortable with the perceived stability associated with a cruising catamaran. I have to admit that the extra room is a big plus, but the extra cost is not so attractive.

So, if it is going to take the extra room of a cat to get her on board, then so be it. As others have said, its going to be her home too. So, I'll just have to figure out a way to pay for it.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by HighTemp

My wife finally bought into the concept of living aboard, but it took a few months of steady sailing around the Texas Gulf Coast. I suspect that the transformation in her view was made during weekend on a 45ft Cat while taking our ASA 114 class. Upon completion of the class, she looked at me and said, " Honey, I could live on this!" Before that she always had a bit of hesitation because all of our time has been spent on a 40ft monohull. She simply feels more comfortable with the perceived stability associated with a cruising catamaran. I have to admit that the extra room is a big plus, but the extra cost is not so attractive.

So, if it is going to take the extra room of a cat to get her on board, then so be it. As others have said, its going to be her home too. So, I'll just have to figure out a way to pay for it.

[Cheechako]

I think if you have to "convince" her, .... I would forget it for now. If she has an inclination to do it then maybe. It's a big move, I suggest get moved, settle into an apartment or whatever. Then go looking at boats for a while. Think and discuss about what it would be like while sitting in a boat the size you are thinking about. Take your time and ferret it out that way.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by Cheechako

I think if you have to "convince" her, .... I would forget it for now. If she has an inclination to do it then maybe. It's a big move, I suggest get moved, settle into an apartment or whatever. Then go looking at boats for a while. Think and discuss about what it would be like while sitting in a boat the size you are thinking about. Take your time and ferret it out that way.

That sounds like sound advice.

[Cheechako]

I'll also add that working a job while living on the boat can be a bit hard, especially if you need to be neat and tidy and wear nice outfits. Where to put an ironing board on a boat? Laundry you have to carry up the dock and do in the laundromat etc. Limited hot water, damp clothes. It just adds to the work week. I never realized how mildew our clothes smelled as my nose got used to it, then we moved off the boat and smelled them in the real world....
Not trying to burst your bubble, but add a bit of reality. You can do it, but you better both want to.

[JPA Cate]

Grady Bunch,

I, like Hudson Force, am a long term liveaboard cruising person, and I came to it by being involved in sailing through a woman friend who crewed for a number of different skippers.

What I think is important here is that you're putting the cart before the horse, imo. The first thing is that she discovers there's FUN in sailing. Everything else then either follows or will not. [There's then a reason to learn to cope with seasickness and other hardships of a liveaboard life style.] Rent a small flat or apartment, get a trailer sailer and get out on the water. Meet people who are doing what you think you want to do.

I tend to think that outdoorsy women do better at accepting a liveaboard lifestyle, women who already use their bodies for fun purposes besides sex: for instance, back packing, skiing, swimming, hiking, etc. If she's a nail polish wearing fashion beauty, who does not care for any sport, your chances are less that she will enjoy it.

Your budget will not afford you a high quality large sailing boat. If your ultimate dream is cruising all over the world, it would take huge efforts of your time and most of your assets to accomplish on that budget. However, if all you want to do is substitute a boat for an apartment, you can get by much less expensively. Keep in mind that many of us consider that our boats are a hole in the water into which we pour water...that old saw came from somewhere. You cope with insurance, berthing, maintenance (non-deferable), and haulouts, and the more complicated the boat, the more repair or replace you have to do. That part is an ongoing commitment throughout the period of boat ownership, and you may be underestimating that.

If you find a way to make it fun for both of you, as a wife committed to you, she may be okay with giving it all a try for your sake. My advice is to give up on manipulation, and learn to ask openly for what you want, and openly discuss the issues with her. Attempts to trick her into doing what you want will lead to resentment when she inevitably finds it out.



Ann

[Stu Jackson]

Here's one from a slightly differtent direction, but covers many of the issues:

http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...at-139168.html

[SURV69]

women and boating .... maybe
women and sailing ... well, probably not
women living on a sailboat ... very unlikely

you might search out some couples(right here), and see about opening up a private dialogue ... maybe on the internet, but on phone or in person, even better.

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

If you find a way to make it fun for both of you, as a wife committed to you, she may be okay with giving it all a try for your sake. My advice is to give up on manipulation, and learn to ask openly for what you want, and openly discuss the issues with her. Attempts to trick her into doing what you want will lead to resentment when she inevitably finds it out.



Ann

Well said.

[captlloyd]

Originally Posted by Grady Bunch

I asked her if she was interested in these books and she said yes so I bought them for her. It will make a good read while we drive across the US.

You are a manipulator. Books are nice but they sure the hell are not going to convince her. Some of the advice has been very good here. Keep it simple. Most people including women do not enjoy cold weather. This winter suggest a 1 or 2 week cruise in the Caribbean, preferable on a cat if you can swing it. My guess your problem will be over.