Another Idiotic "What Boat Should I Buy?" Thread

[Sailor Sailor]

I have never set foot on a boat. However, I have suddenly developed an avid interest in buying a very expensive boat. I have half a million dollars to spend. I have noticed that many of you love to endlessly recommend boats to buy, so here is my criteria:

Bluewater worthy, so I can sail in the deep blue sea and cross oceans, if I develop the urge!

Fast racing boat, so I can humiliate the others who spend thousands on lesser yachts!

Built like a tank, so it lasts forever!

Euro styling, because I love that cheap plastic look, with sharp angles and pointed pieces, and large windows everywhere! Plus, I enjoy the thrill of the risk that the keel or rudder may fall off at any moment! And they are expensive!

Here is how it works, you spend your energy and time recommending various boats and arguing with each other, and, after three or more pages, I will reject everything you write with questionable grammar, lots of exclamation points to show how enthusiastic I am, plus add some LOLs and other silly errata that will cause you to question whether someone who cannot write a coherent sentence could possibly have a thousand dollars, much less the half million I claim.

Let’s start the fun! LOL

[Spindrift NH]

Well, whatever boat you decide on, you’ll need an anchor. Any thoughts on a good one?

[Sailor Sailor]

If I spend half a million dollars of my ill gotten gains, I expect the damn boat to come with an anchor! LOL, WTF...

[Boatfreak]

Yes, I’ve always been amazed that people with such a lot of money to spend are incapable of writing a coherent sentence. That excludes everyone who is writing in a language other than their own of course, who get my utmost respect.

Word corrected me four times in that paragraph !

[Baby tug]

I’m thinking a solar powered submarine would be great

[Idaho]

Get a nuclear powered space yacht.

Oh wait, you said a half million. I though you said a half trillion.

Sorry.

[kayakerChuck]

The boat doesn't matter. Invest in the sailor and equipment.

A happy captain is the most important thing for a safe, enjoyable voyage. I recommend Maximo Extra Anejo. At $2500- 3000/bottle, it will hardly put a dent in the budget.

Engine oil is really important. Almost all bluewater boats have it. I recommend having an adequate supply of both Rotella T4 and Mobile1. Be sure to change to the correct oil for the conditions.

All boats that venture offshore need four LiFePO4 batteries. No more, no less. The brand doesn't matter, just make sure they are offshore rated.

Finally, you will need a video camera (maybe your cell phone?) and a Starlink subscription. In only a few minutes per day, you can upload your adventures to the internet and people will send you money. Yes, you can get paid to sail! You probably won't get rich, but you will have more than enough funds to keep the boat in top shape, the rum locker full, and still make some modest contributions to your retirement accounts.

Call your nearest broker, tell her your budget & that you want a sailboat NOW. They are all very professional and will get the best boat for you. Just make sure the boat has (4) LiFePO4 batteries.

[Sailor Sailor]

Originally Posted by kayakerChuck

The boat doesn't matter. Invest in the sailor and equipment.... Just make sure the boat has (4) LiFePO4 batteries.

Oh bummer! I was planning to have flooded cell batteries! LOL

One the experts on a dock I walked down told me my boat would likely be flooded in any event, so why not start with the batteries. Also, he said the heavier flooded cells would less likely rocket across the cabin when the boat rolled over or pitchpoled…LOL

[Rumrace]

The folks who join threads with insults to clear a path for their expert statements are funny op. They so often make a fool of themselves for entertainment. You are correct in the no coherent response. I recently read one dressing down another pleasant laymen in the forum. He implied someone was stupid when a word was used not in his vocabulary. I can see setting up a thread to contain them fixated even for a period.
We all realize people looking for boat purchase advise are fake and genuine.
I feel we should assume they are all genuine and contribute if we can.
I ask computer stores for advise. The last two probable said that lame old guy knew nothing. I wouldn’t ask for computer advise in a forum to listen to a bunch of kids rant competing for Smartest Person in the Room Syndrome. That it exists in a boating forum shouldn’t surprise me.

[letsgetsailing3]

Welcome to Cruiser's Forum, Sam Bankman-Fried!

We knew you'd be here sooner or later.

You should really consider an electric motor and lots of solar. The environment and all. Plus will save you a lot of time in not having to discuss motor oil on forums.

Don't forget, bigger is always better.

[Cwens]

In no case buy a boat with an offset companionway. Every single person who ever sets foot on one, even once, will eventually die.

[Rumrace]

Hahaha. Finally a great thread!

[ChrisJHC]

Just make sure that you specify a Hydrovane for both the bow and the stern.

Most people just put one at the stern, but then they’ve got nothing to keep the bow pointing in the right direction!

[Pete7]

With 1/2M US stuffed under the bed I think you are swimming in the wrong pool.

Suggest you ring Elon up and tell him you have 1/2mil and would he please start building Tesla yachts.

[Indolent58]

Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.
Bluewater.

Discuss.