OP: I think you've just been caught in a push-me-pull-you that is just an intrinsic part of today's yotting. On the one hand you are a beginning sailor, you say. In consequence you might still be a bit "on edge", a bit anxious, when you are doing what sailors have to do on
deck. That's apt to make you think that there is a "problem" where there really isn't. On the other hand, your
boat is a fin keel/spade
rudder design, which hardly makes for a stable platform for a noob to learn on :-)
Well, that's life! It's really tough, these days, to find a
boat above 40 feet that's well suited for a noob to learn on. Builders and naval architects live in a fantasy world thinking that all
boats have to be racers, so that is for the most part what is available in the
used boat market.
I think you can solve your difficulties just by thinking through what you are doing, and developing practices that sequence the things you have to do in such a way that all but hauling up the main is done PRIOR to your leaving the
helm. Getting to the
mast, hauling up a 350 foot main, belaying the
halyard and getting back to the
wheel should take no more than two minutes provided your
gear is set up right, and all has been made ready before you go forward.
For example, lazyjacks are for catching the
canvas as it comes down. They are NOT a peace of
gear you want to have in your way as you hoist. So BEFORE you leave the
dock, you bring the lazyjacks in to the gooseneck and secure them there with a
gasket. Then THAT job is outta the way. If you feel the need to lash the
canvas to the boom so it's secure as you
motor our of the marina, then remove your sailcover and any gaskets while you are still alongside and lash your canvas to the boom with a piece of light line laid on with a chainstich, so when you are in all respects ready to hoist, you can, standing at the
mast, slip the chainstitch which will drop onto
deck leaving the canvas free to be hoisted. If you've started your mainsheet by hand (which you can do while at the helm) before you go forward so the boom is free to swing, then, provided your slides/slugs run free on the track/in the cove, your sail will be up in less than a minute. For that short time, even though she is a fin-keeler with a spade
rudder, she is likely to hold her course if your rudder is locked midships and your throttle is only just above idle in forward gear.
Ships are referred to as "she" cos, like
women, they are all different, and cos to get along with any one of them you have to learn that particular one's foibles and be willing to accommodate to the things you can't change :-)
So just go out and practice - always thinking about what YOU can do to meet the boat's particular intrinsic requirements.
TrentePieds