What's your worst guest/crew experience?

[IdoraKeeper]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

My worst times have been when solo sailing, that guy wouldn't listen/do anything told!

That damn slave is insolent. I have same trouble with mine. Always wants to sleep...eats all the time...beer? all gone...nothin but cornflakes left. idiot won't even man the windlass when told...says it hurts his back. Just wants to lay about enjoying my boat.

[Celestialsailor]

I'll go in chronological order here...
1st) was a seasoned sailor that I took out on my 21 ft sailboat. He was pretty juiced up on Dramamine. I was flat calm in Monterey bay with 1ft. swells. he dropped my whisker pole overboard and claimed in was a "rouge wave that caused it. Then broke a small item onboard. It was a trailer sailor and when we returned, hopped of the boat with a "hey thanks" and trotte off to his car.
2) Invited some good friends out for a sail out of Halfmoon bay. They showed up with their 16 yr old macho son. Wouldn't wear a PFD, wouldn't obey any request, keep meanderinmg around the boat while underway in 7ft. chop. I would tell him to come back to the cockpit while we tacked and wouldn't. I was ready to ring the little f#@kers neck. I told my friends to never to pull that one again.
3) I took a woman out for a sail. She seemed a little off to begin with but I had invited others and only she showed. She just kept focusing on the fact that the boat moved a lot and i knew she was going to heave. I turned the boat back as she started feeding the fish. I told her not to be embarrassed, that a lot of people hurl their first time out. She asked what are the sails made of, I exclaimed Dracron. She then stated that was the problem and donned a particle mast. really embarrassing coming in like that.
4) I was dating a jewish girl,while I was a liveaboard, for a few heartbeats and one overnighter, asked me about a former G/F I had been seeing. The conversation came to her performance in bed and I replied..."great". That night she shakes my shoulder at 3am., asking me how she was in bed. 3/4's asleep and not remembering the prior conversation, I said..."you're ok honey", thinking she was asking to make sure everything was ok that way.
Next morning we go to our jobs and upon returning, I am cooking a spaghetti dinner for myself when she shows up uninvited. Being a gentleman, I offer her a place and she accepts. Soon I notice the cold moody shoulder I'm getting. I didn't beat around the bush and asked what was up. She said, "your ex was great in bed and I was "ok"? It began to escalate into a level of immaturity I wasn't wanting to engage in. The dinner was on paper plates which I like to eat off when alone for the sake of clean up. I took both plates up into the cockpit inviting her to join me. Standing at the stern rail, I tossed both dinners into the harbor and took her by the arm walking her off my boat saying..."have a nice life but have it without me.

[Steadman Uhlich]

Originally Posted by MargotJefferson

Hey guys

Writing a blog post about the nightmare sailing can be with the wrong people.

Anyone got some funny stories to tell about messy sailors, knowitalls or head-hoggers, please share

Which blog are you writing for?

[Greg4cocokai]

Originally Posted by El Pinguino

As skipper you need the crew's passports when you check in and when you check out... not at any other time.



Crew have a visa ( if required ) so they can bugger orf anytime when you are in port with no comeback on the skipper. At sea crew should keep their own passports so that if push comes to shove they have them in their grab bag.



Different on a big ship where crew are 'on articles'. If they choose to jump ship it can make life difficult and expensive ... esp if they are chinese and the ship is in the US. Was a time when crew didn't even need passports... just a seaman's identity card.

Not true! I tried to check out of Rodriguez Is. In the Indian Ocean after my crew disembarked and tried to check out. He was still on the Is. Somewhere and I was told by the Imm. Official I was human trafficking! Had to go find him and show proof he was flying out. Small person syndrome!


Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

[Pelagic]

In my mid 20’s I used to captain a lovely 115ft yacht (tug boat conversion) for a corporation.

The CEO wanted me to generate some income, so we did a number of private charters, which were great ... but he also wanted me to do harbor cruises for groups of 60-80 pax.

I tried to resist, as the yacht’s interior was very nicely fitted out, but he insisted.

I’ve got to say most of them were a lot of fun and a great way to meet all kinds of enthusiastic women, but the absolute HORROR for a charter boat captain are “Halloween” harbor cruises.

Not sure if it is the dress up and pretend part that releases all inhibitions coupled with an open bar set up by the organizer….
…. but they would break into the locked private cabins to copulate….. Start fights, ……wander past no go signs into the engine room (dressed as “The Strawman”) and with all that makeup and costume bits falling off …. By the end of the cruise… they had basically trashed the interior!!

My poor interior staff would be in tears by the end of the night!

After the 2nd Halloween Cruise… I refused any more and the CEO agreed….. I have hated Halloween ever since then.

[Wendi]

Originally Posted by monte

Wendi you have to share your Atlantic crew experience!

Oh, good lord. Not sure if I can work up the strength. But it has been a while so maybe I will discover that ultimate truth "You'll laugh about this one day".
One of weirdest parts of the whole thing was having to lock myself in after a night of dancing with the police chief Malfy, when he insisted on coming to check on me later. He was going to make sure I was safe, in case my x-crew were lurking. He had much more in mind, so I buttoned things up nice and tight before sleep.

[Kenomac]

I invited a drunken fool aboard for almost three weeks to help with some repairs, not knowing he was a drunken fool. The idiot had told me he had participated in many deliveries. What a nightmare.

Besides crapping his pants regularly... the very first time I asked him to take the helm... the knucklehead changed course 90 degrees and steered us directly towards a Spanish naval vessel which was conducting live fire exercises while I went below for just eight minutes. Another time when I reluctantly went below for just six minutes to relieve myself, he took the liberty of switching the radar setting from 2 miles to 24 miles (I'd already told him multiple times to leave it alone). When I looked at it on the saloon repeater down below, I immediately switched it back... only to see a 100ft fishing boat coming directly at us on a collision course. I never moved so fast to head topside, take the helm and put the boat full throttle reverse. Way too close for comfort... Maybe 100 ft. The maroon was worried about running aground.... We were 20 miles off shore at the time.

On the final day, the fool insisted on steering while I brought in the anchor. So while I pointed direction from the bow and hauled up the anchor via the windlass, he very attentively steered back and forth... back and forth. When I was finished and the anchor was up, I returned to the cockpit, wasn't surprised at all to find him still steering... with the transmission in neutral.

In hindsight, I should have given him a 20 euro bill and set him to the store on the second or third day to buy some Scotch.... and left without him.

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

I invited a drunken fool aboard for almost three weeks to help with some repairs, not knowing he was a drunken fool. The idiot had told me he had participated in many deliveries. What a nightmare.

Besides crapping his pants regularly... the very first time I asked him to take the helm... the knucklehead changed course 90 degrees and steered us directly towards a Spanish naval vessel which was conducting live fire exercises while I went below for just eight minutes. Another time when I reluctantly went below for just six minutes to relieve myself, he took the liberty of switching the radar setting from 2 miles to 24 miles (I'd already told him multiple times to leave it alone). When I looked at it on the saloon repeater down below, I immediately switched it back... only to see a 100ft fishing boat coming directly at us on a collision course. I never moved so fast to head topside, take the helm and put the boat full throttle reverse. Way too close for comfort... Maybe 100 ft. The maroon was worried about running aground.... We were 20 miles off shore at the time.

On the final day, the fool insisted on steering while I brought in the anchor. So while I pointed direction from the bow and hauled up the anchor via the windlass, he very attentively steered back and forth... back and forth. When I was finished and the anchor was up, I returned to the cockpit, wasn't surprised at all to find him still steering... with the transmission in neutral.

In hindsight, I should have given him a 20 euro bill and set him to the store on the second or third day to buy some Scotch.... and left without him.

Holy cow! That guy was a nightmare!

[monte]

Originally Posted by Wendi

Oh, good lord. Not sure if I can work up the strength. But it has been a while so maybe I will discover that ultimate truth "You'll laugh about this one day".
One of weirdest parts of the whole thing was having to lock myself in after a night of dancing with the police chief Malfy, when he insisted on coming to check on me later. He was going to make sure I was safe, in case my x-crew were lurking. He had much more in mind, so I buttoned things up nice and tight before sleep.

Haha Wendi, I re read your crossing diary mid Atlantic actually. I hope you can laugh about some of it, it is beautifully written and we're looking forward to the book! We're heading toward st Lucia in a couple of days. I'll look up Malfy and send him your love xoxo

[socaldmax]

This isn't sailing related, but it did happen on a boat.

Back in about 1990 or 91, I was living in HI. My FIL and his new bride came out to visit, so I organized a nice big fishing party on a 50' steel boat through MWR and invited about 6 other people (total of 8) mostly hard partying submarine ETs that I worked with and 1 guy's wife. I managed to get the date set for a Sat. morning and I figured all was well.

1 of the guys decided to schedule his bachelor party the night before, and we started off at 4pm drinking Long Island Iced Teas at Moose's in Waikiki and drank those like water until 8pm, then we moved on to another bar, and so on. To say we were 3 sheets to the wind would be grossly understating it. I was one of the designated drivers, and I blew a .35 in a breathalyzer at the front door to the last bar at 1am. We then went in and drank another 1-2 pitchers of beer ea. before calling it a night at about 230.

We got to sleep about 3, then had to get up at 430 to meet at the fishing boat at 5am. I rolled up with my buddy and his wife and my FIL, B-rad roared up on his Harley with the bachelor on the back, both still drunk. Jerry and I are still drunk, Big Al and the 8th guy showed up, still drinking.

The Capt. looked at us like he was ready to keel haul someone. Then he asked it anyone had touched a banana recently. Nope. He explained the banana oil gets all over the lures and the fish will never bite. After checking us all out, we climb aboard with our coolers and lunches etc and take off.

We're probably only 1/2 mi from the pier, still inside Pearl Harbor, and I start heaving over the side, a lot. This starts everyone else who was still drunk to heaving over the side as well. I finally get done and look around, and there's my FIL, about 68 yrs old, standing up near the bow, with a beer in one hand and a ham sandwich in the other, shaking his head and he says, "Geez, what's with all you seasick Navy guys? The only 2 here who aren't sick are Jerry's wife and myself!"

As sick as we were, we all had to laugh, cuz it sure looked like it was a seasick sailor problem! After we had some crackers and settled our stomachs down, we ended up catching probably 6 or 7 nice sized Mahi Mahi and 5 tuna. We gave one each to the crew as a tip plus cash for showing us an easy way to fillet them. Once he got to know us and found out about the bachelor party, the capt. changed his mind about us and we really had a great time!

Jerry and I ended up filleting or cutting steaks out of all of the fish, we had about 300 lbs of fish after cleaning, wrapped it all and stuck it in my 15 cuft freezer. We threw a ton of parties - fish steaks, fish tacos, fish fries, you name it!

[Wendi]

Originally Posted by monte

Haha Wendi, I re read your crossing diary mid Atlantic actually. I hope you can laugh about some of it, it is beautifully written and we're looking forward to the book! We're heading toward st Lucia in a couple of days. I'll look up Malfy and send him your love xoxo

Yes, say hi to him. He is the one with the very big gunmetal grey, bulletproof boat that chases down bad guys. I am sure he will remember me. Where are you headed after St Lucia? Are you continuing to sail during hurricane season? I am thinking that I might come down in September and sail. When are you heading on your round the world trip?

[Sheemgal]

I had a drunk Virgina state Engineer shout at me about Nazi's the British Navy etc as a result of cleaning the engine room tools that I had done prior to this new crew arriving, for some reason a good deed can be punished thanks to alcohol.

[garrobito]

Worst trip... second day delivery big baltic sailboat when I found 2kilos drug hiding on the engine room..
Never find who was the guy snatching drugs onboard but I'm not investigate... drop all over board and left whole crew (with ticket to back at home) on the closest port..
They never ever back to work with me... scary moment!!
I always check passport and stuff before crew come on board but well.. I missed that one..

[Gadagirl]

Originally Posted by monte

Haha Wendi, I re read your crossing diary mid Atlantic actually. I hope you can laugh about some of it, it is beautifully written and we're looking forward to the book! We're heading toward st Lucia in a couple of days. I'll look up Malfy and send him your love xoxo

I agree! It was very well written and entertaining, of course I was not the one to have had experienced it Control freakish Dutch couple were involved, if memory serves?

[Gadagirl]

The last trip on my father's boat before he sold it. I knew it was for sale, but didn't know it would sell so quickly, and that, in fact , it was my last chance for a sail on it.

Enter current boyfriend and his two children. He is visiting with us that weekend. Insists his children do not get seasick. Insists that he does not want to give them medicine as a precautionary measure. They'll be fine. Insists they come along even though my mother and sisters have volunteered to watch them for the 4 hour duration of our day sail out of Atlantic City.

Yup! Before we even reach the ocean they are all white as ghosts and ready to puke! It was a very calm mild day too! Dad turned the boat about and back to the slip we went.

I broke up with him after that. Not entirely because they got sick and ruined my day. I have empathy after all It was because of his attitude afterwards. He was totally unconcerned and unapologetic about my disappointment.

Lesson learned. I should never have let him call the shots that day. So, my fault too. After the boat was sold I did feel completely justified with my decision to dump him though.