Where to meet single ladies also interested in the cruising lifestyle?

[Joh.Ghurt]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

To get a lower bound on Joe's wealth use this time honoured formula (round up to 0 if negative):

[His Money in $] >= ([His Age] - [Her Age] - 7) * ([Her IQ] - [Size of his boat in feet]) * 2000

[SailFastTri]

Originally Posted by zeehag

hahahahaha men have no clue as to what women want or seek. from a ladys point of view---
be decent always not just for her to be attracted to you. there are so many weirdos on the water for ye to compete with. in your mind...hahahaha
be decent..donot push. live well, not obsessing on how to catch a female.. donot be a pervert. do not be aggressive. do not be obsessive.. do not do the narcissist dance.. donot pontificate. do not act as if sex were something you never new or that you neeeeeeeed now.
be you. be free be alive and be real. live within your means.
once you are out and about you will understand and you will see who and what is out here. until then all you are doing is obsessing. make friends and enjoy your life and lifestyle.

@zeehag one of your best posts ever.

[Sailor Sailor]

These threads are always entertaining, and somewhat distressing.

As a divorce lawyer and amateur psychologist, I listen to many relationship mishaps. Here is how I see your inquiry or mindset:

"I know what I want. Here is what I want. How do I find someone to satisfy what I want."

I doubt many women (or people) would find that appealing. How about this mindset/perspective instead:

"I have found that I have never been successful in satisfying my wants alone (hence the dream of sailing the world), so I am essentially giving up. Instead, I would like to share my life with someone else whom I can help. I have something to offer someone else. How do I find someone else who will want to share her life with me."

If you adopt this second mindset, you will more likely find someone, although you will likely not go sailing toward the horizon.

Listen to John Denver's "Annie's Song." That is what love is about: giving your life to someone else. Love is giving, not receiving. Until you realize that, you will never find love or a life partner.

As far as sailing goes, go by yourself. Your current mindset will only contribute to someone else's misery and unhappiness. Along the way, you might find someone who will go along for a passage or two, if she does not have enough money for airfare or some other alternative, or is bored and wants some adventure, until you irritate her enough to leave.

Life on land can be very satisfying and fulfilling.

Good luck and fair winds!

[goboatingnow]

Originally Posted by Sailor Sailor

These threads are always entertaining, and somewhat distressing.

As a divorce lawyer and amateur psychologist, I listen to many relationship mishaps. Here is how I see your inquiry or mindset:

"I know what I want. Here is what I want. How do I find someone to satisfy what I want."

I doubt many women (or people) would find that appealing. How about this mindset/perspective instead:

"I have found that I have never been successful in satisfying my wants alone (hence the dream of sailing the world), so I am essentially giving up. Instead, I would like to share my life with someone else whom I can help. I have something to offer someone else. How do I find someone else who will want to share her life with me."

If you adopt this second mindset, you will more likely find someone, although you will likely not go sailing toward the horizon.

Listen to John Denver's "Annie's Song." That is what love is about: giving your life to someone else. Love is giving, not receiving. Until you realize that, you will never find love or a life partner.

As far as sailing goes, go by yourself. Your current mindset will only contribute to someone else's misery and unhappiness. Along the way, you might find someone who will go along for a passage or two, if she does not have enough money for airfare or some other alternative, or is bored and wants some adventure, until you irritate her enough to leave.

Life on land can be very satisfying and fulfilling.

Good luck and fair winds!

Ouch that’s gotta hurt

[PaulCrawhorn]

Originally Posted by Celestial_Body

Here is a different perspective for you ... I met my sailor while I was looking for a cowboy! He had the boat and I bought him a horse! What works for us is for him to sail to the destination, then I fly to where he is. We enjoy each other's company, see the sights, do some short sailing and everyone is happy.



I have no desire to sail around the world, but I do enjoy short adventures with my sailor. Likewise, he doesn't want to ride horses for weeks with me so we just go on day rides together. We also love to camp and enjoy adventures with our dogs.



The point is that he has his interests, I have my interests and we have the things that we love to do together. It works out really well for us and everyone is happy.



Good luck in your search. Keep an open mind. Don't lose yourself along the way and definitely don't try to make someone else fit into a mold that you are looking to fill. [emoji2]

Best post so far.

There are many factors and levels of "being realistic".

The solution presented here is plenty ambitious and difficult to achieve, but orders of magnitude easier than the wish expressed by the OP.

[Chotu]

Originally Posted by Sailor Sailor

As far as sailing goes, go by yourself. Your current mindset will only contribute to someone else's misery and unhappiness. Along the way, you might find someone who will go along for a passage or two, if she does not have enough money for airfare or some other alternative, or is bored and wants some adventure, until you irritate her enough to leave.

This is exactly the right advice when it comes to sailing.

You have to be prepared to go alone or with people that just visit from time to time.

The vast VAST majority of the population doesn’t want to be stuck out on a boat. They want a nice little life on land.

I’m a traveler and do not have that little land life/cottage. I live in things that go places. So, I tend to have women come and go, but each brings their own special something to my life. These days, I’m in a serious, long term relationship (was married in the past and spent years on boats with my ex). My serious long term of about 4-5 years now has decided she needed some time to sort through things in her life. She never lived alone. Moved directly from parents house to live with me. (Yes, we are a bit like the Joe picture above) So understandably she has to spend some time discovering who she is. We will get together as often as we can but we both have things we need to work on this year. I have a boat to finish and she has some personal development to finish.

Later, we will come back together when it feels right. She’ll be sailing with me and spending summers with me whenever I get this boat underway. We have already sailed for about 1/4 of out time together. We are quite fluid in our approach to our personal needs. I love her greatly and am elated to see her making personal progress. She feels the same and knows I need adventure and travel.

It works because we respect each other, help each other, want to see the other flourish and put the other first.

Later, as I get too old to travel so much, my dream is her dream. A secluded cottage with gardening, woods, etc. For now, we do what we need to do to feel happy and fulfilled while seeing each other as much as possible.

But, I’m prepared to go by myself.

[iSaint]

Originally Posted by Morgali

This might be the wrong forum, but for real, where does one go to meet women who are also interested in cruising?

LoveSail is a growing site.

[Solani]

Originally Posted by Chotu

You live in Europe. That’s why. American women do not think this way.

Typically, everything needs to be bigger, better, always improving. Never satisfied with just a simple thing like that. I’m sorry women, but you know it’s the truth. Lol Heck, it’s even the truth for me. Many Americans are this way. I admire the European approach. The ability to do something in a simple way. Not having to make it grandiose.

Well. As an American woman, I think that’s a bit of an overgeneralization. I’m a lot more inclined to simplicity and adventure than my husband will ever be.

Originally Posted by Celestialsailor

Indeed!

[Chotu]

Originally Posted by Solani

Well. As an American woman, I think that’s a bit of an overgeneralization. I’m a lot more inclined to simplicity and adventure than my husband will ever be.



Indeed!

You are just an exception. That’s it. There is an exception to every general trend or rule.

I am talking about the general population, not you, personally.

And it definitely doesn’t mean that it’s the fault of anyone, it’s just how women were raised, socialized, influenced by the media, whatever. It’s a defining characteristic of the gender overall in the USA. It also definitely comes from outside influences, not your chromosomes, since many women from other countries do not think this way.

It’s similar to if you take a look at mass shootings. Those are all carried out by American men. There is a reason for that. And it’s a general trend. It’s caused by some influence and conditions here in the United States. Conditions and influences that act upon the male gender and create these types of people.

So no. It’s not an overgeneralization. It’s an appropriate generalization.

[Solani]

Originally Posted by Chotu

You are just an exception. That’s it. There is an exception to every general trend or rule.

I am talking about the general population, not you, personality.

And it definitely doesn’t mean that it’s the fault of anyone, it’s just how women were raised, socialized, influenced by the media, whatever. It’s a defining characteristic of the gender overall in the USA. It also definitely comes from outside influences, not your chromosomes, since many women from other countries do not think this way.

It’s similar to if you take a look at mass shootings. Those are all carried out by American men. There is a reason for that. And it’s a general trend. It’s caused by some influence and conditions here in the United States. Conditions and influences that act upon the male gender. And create these types of people.

While I don’t entirely disagree with your premise, the fact is that sometimes you get what you expect to get. Expect all the women you meet to be high maintainence? They probably will be.

I do understand the desire to sail with a partner. I certainly wish my Admiral was more amenable!

Good luck to OP, and peace to you, Chotu.

[CLady]

Hi Morgali,
I'm in Seattle--a real sailor, and often meet people including women who wish to do a circumnavigation. I have sailed with many wonderful individuals and course in different parts of the world in addition to single and double handed offshore racing on my own boat and on others'. What is not viable for me, is sailing with heavy drinkers or drug users, or people who are rude or unkind to people, or someone who is arrogant about their sailing skills or skoffs at prudent safety practices.
Clean sound vessels, ocean capable, properly equipped is attractive-I can see past the pretty varnish and flash to what the vessel truly is and the level of care and maintenance it receives. I have delivered boats so yes, I check the oil in the engine, the batteries/electrical system, etc., bottom, thru-hulls and do maintain a nice manicure.
So, I also look for a real sailors to share the great adventure sailing offers.
C Lady

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by Solani

Well. As an American woman, I think that’s a bit of an overgeneralization. I’m a lot more inclined to simplicity and adventure than my husband will ever be.



Indeed!

Yup...I knew this was going to be a fire cracker...


Statistically, Chotu is correct in that a large majority of women have grown up with the idea to be treated like a Princess. In that, I'll say men have been brought up to be caretakers. It's a symbiotic relationship set up by our society passed down generation to generation. Unfortunately we have outgrown the need for this as power to women has (slowly) increased the last 50 or so years and the need to have a mate has dissipated (slowly).
A relationship is nice to have...sometimes. I think where our society fails (men and women) is having the ability to live alone...comfortably. Meaning being ok in your own skin.

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by CLady

What is not viable for me, is sailing with heavy drinkers or drug users, or people who are rude or unkind to people, or someone who is arrogant about their sailing skills or skoffs at prudent safety practices.

Yikes!!! You just described the husband and wife crew I had in Mexico. Up to 2 bottles of wine a day, learned sailing in a University class and immediately became an instructor and apparently knew everything.

My depth sounder had gone out during our time in the Sea of Cortez but they did not want to slow the boat going into an anchorage with a lead line. Apparently knew every anchorage and every obstacle. I couldn't get them off the boat quick enough.

[JPA Cate]

It is a big responsibility to take on the idea of being ready to meet one's soul mate. It takes courage, and one will make changes. One is never quite sure one is really ready. It doesn't mean prowling, it means getting on with what you love in life, and being awake to opportunities. With this approach, at least you're doing what you enjoy. You may have to "kiss a lot of frogs." You may have to make compromises. You may have to get creative at relationship problem solving.

By my observation, you are looking for a woman who is physically attractive to you, but you have to decide what all the other qualities are. This is at least as important as choosing a boat. Look among those who like outdoor activities, who seek them out. No point in taking a lady who wants bright lights and social attributes of capital cities, and putting her on a "poor dirt farm, like this." You have to look for suitable personalities, and I'm here to tell you most women don't want you to try and solve their problems, more emotional support, while they do the work. You also want someone who will back off when asked, and let you do what you need. It isn't simple, this relationship business. Not at all. It won't work if it is all about what you want; the lawyer is right, you both need to come from a ground of being of wanting to give love.

Ann

[Celestialsailor]

I'll also add that you should become that which you think you are attracted too.