Two families on one boat

[terah]

We were discussing it again last weekend and everyone is still keen to give it a go.

Roles and responsibilities have already been agreed - we all take turns but each person would have overall responsibility for something (navigation/provisioning/teaching/mechanics/etc)

The boys will be 9, 6 and 4 when we leave, so should be fine if a bit of sharing is required, though we're still thinking a ~40 ft catamaran might suit (I'll save the 'what boat' questions for another thread).

Good to hear that other's have done something similar (SV Camdeboo) and survived.

We all accept it might not work out, and we've agreed what happens if it doesn't.

[Cadence]

What happens if it does not work out should be on paper, dot the Is cross the ts.
It can be funny how agreements are remembered. JMHO

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by Cadence

What happens if it does not work out should be on paper, dot the Is cross the ts.
It can be funny how agreements are remembered. JMHO

G'day Cadence, terah, and everybody.

You know, this might be wise. One might even think of keeping a journal from now on. It could be the basis of a book, but I think it would be a good thing for everyone if someone kept hard copy of the decisions, and of their changing, if necessary. It can't hurt, and could help. And if terah becomes a life long cruiser, it will be fun to look back on the beginnings.

Ann

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

G'day Cadence, terah, and everybody.

You know, this might be wise. One might even think of keeping a journal from now on. It could be the basis of a book, but I think it would be a good thing for everyone if someone kept hard copy of the decisions, and of their changing, if necessary. It can't hurt, and could help. And if terah becomes a life long cruiser, it will be fun to look back on the beginnings.

Ann

Hopefully a good book.

[terah]

A lot of the early discussions were over FB so I have the history there, but the journal idea is good, for both reasons.

Will very likely start a blog once we're ready to buy the boat (sorry ObsessionSTJ for not answering that earlier), but that will be more for public consumption.

And then, of course, SV THIRD DAY's TV show...

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by terah

A lot of the early discussions were over FB so I have the history there, but the journal idea is good, for both reasons.

Will very likely start a blog once we're ready to buy the boat (sorry ObsessionSTJ for not answering that earlier), but that will be more for public consumption.

And then, of course, SV THIRD DAY's TV show...

Please, no more "reality" shows!

[tbodine88]

Originally Posted by terah

It's a fair way off and we're only starting to think about serious plans and budget - if we were to try it though I'd be looking for a 40ft+ cat.

Love the reality show idea!

Charter a cat together for a week, and see how that works out

[Schooner Chandlery]

Terah, We came to your topic late but are glad to see you're going to explore it further.

We know of one very successful boat partnership that worked so that both families were trading off cruising time and sometimes together on the boat. It went on for several years and all were happy then one of the families bought out the other as the cruising interests diverged.

We know that our own boat in it's past was used by one family for extended vacations by the owner, his brother, and their children. Typically a couple months with the two families together each year. During one summer, while they were gone from CA to HI their home on land burned so they spent the summer on the boat (3 months) then spent another 4 months living on the boat while the house was being rebuilt. They had 11 people on the boat all that time. I can never figure out if both brothers and families lived together on land (thus the house burning impacted both, or what) but we spoke with them and they all have happy memories.

Finally, during one phase of our life together, we ran a guest house with typically us (a couple) and four guests -- this is sort of like a B&B but more involved with people staying from 3 weeks to...in one case 3 years. They live with you pretty much like family, cooking together, eating together, running errands together, etc. From that experience, both my husband and I learned that we can live, pretty much indefinitely, with other people. As long as it's the RIGHT people. We did have one guest who wasn't fitting in so well -- we called around and found another home for him (a B&B actually) near a part of town that we thought he'd love (and he did) and well, we kicked him out without him ever realizing that he'd been booted. He thanked us profusely for finding such a great place for him to stay for the rest of his time visiting DC (where we lived.) So--even when things don't work out, they don't have to be unpleasant.

I agree with the person who said those who are more "outdoorsy" will probably do better with this. We've done extended hiking trips (3 weeks) and wilderness canoe trips (up to a month) with groups of 5 to 10 people (extended family or friends) and find the tough ones do much better with getting along than do people who are having a hard time just surviving the natural environment.

While right now we tend to not have other people sail with us (largely due to the fact that we don't think others who volunteer can rough it or endure some of the conditions we put ourselves through), we suspect that someday we'll take a big sailing adventure with extended family and friends aboard our boat (or a boat owned another person.) In the meanwhile, we'll be glad to hear about your own adventure with your family.

Best of luck, Brenda (and David)

[Sea Frog]

Originally Posted by terah

I've read a lot of threads about solo sailors, couples, and families sailing together, but not seen any with multiple families on a boat - is this done?

I am planning some extended cruising (1 - 2 years) with my wife and two boys in 2 - 3 years time and my sister and brother in-law, with their boy, are keen to join us.

Actually I know one family who did exactly that (cruised with another family). Tension grew with time, and this resulted in other family one day just dump whe whole stuff of the first family on the beach in some caribbean beach, and run away with the boat (ownership issue was not clear, it was more of a joint project without any legally binding contracts, so...) Was pretty rough experience for a family left behind, considering that the wife was deeply pregnant back then. Everything turned out weel, though, as with the time they bought their own boat and are now happily cruising with 2 kids. I guess they have learned the lesson - never share a boat with another family.

[Schooner Chandlery]

I'm thinking this may be an American aversion to the "sharing" concept. After writing my post last night, I thought of another two families that sail together in Sweden during vacations (usually 3 to 6 weeks) and have done so for many years and an extended Greek family who do the same in the Med.

Also -- the whole older vs younger thing -- the folks we know of who have successfully shared houses with multiple unrelated families (in the interest of small carbon footprint, green living, etc) have by and large been younger and not very set in their ways. Go-with-the-flow type people.

We did meet a group of young people who were sharing their boat as they traveled. They'd started in the PNW and were headed to the South Pacific and were taking their time. 5 adults on board, skipper was not related to the one couple w/child aboard. I have no idea how it all worked out.

Fair winds.

[Carmageddon]

Hi tareh, has it worked out for you? how?
We are considering something like that with a family of close friends.

Pooling the funds together can afford much larger boat, split watches etc..

[GordMay]

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Carmageddon.

[SCWentz]

Originally Posted by Carmageddon

Hi tareh, has it worked out for you? how?
We are considering something like that with a family of close friends.

Pooling the funds together can afford much larger boat, split watches etc..

Here's their blog:

https://changingtack.net/2019/04/nearly-the-end/

[terah]

Hi Carmageddon.

In the end it didn't work out as my sister in law and her husband had another baby, so it was just my family that went and sister in law came out to join us for a short while.

We cruised for a year, and looking back it would have certainly been challenging and we'd definitely have needed a bigger boat (eventually went for a Sun Odyssey 45). And while I still think it might have worked for us then, having now cruised on our own I don't think it would any more.

Lots of great advice on this thread. Charter a boat together to start with, at least for a week but ideally more, and see how it goes.

Good luck!

[SCWentz]

Hey terah,
Good read on the blog, I have been checking it out today as time allows. Really appreciate some of your insights!
--Steve