Keeping a Mate Happy Aboard

[Rick]

No matter how much I've learned over the years (including my failures in this matter) I must admit that I am inadequate and unqualified in understanding how to maintain a good long-lasting relationship with the woman that I love.

Nonetheless, I do not want to "single-hand" and steadfastly seek to keep my mate happy so that she wants to remain aboard with me. In order for me to get a clear picture of just what strength and determination a woman might have when she is NOT happy my fiance sent me this following joke:

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife" The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them.

By this time I'm REALLY paying attention.

Any advice out there? Wheels, Gord, Sean, ....?