Keeping a Mate Happy Aboard

[seagypsywoman]

Rick, thank you, I'm so pleased. :kissy: And can you define mature sex on the first date for me? I thought that self discipline was a sign of maturity.

Alan - "but she is going to feel darn stupid standing watch in the rain wearing the flowers, ain't she. Not to mention being darn cold." I didn't know it was cold in
South Pacific. Isn't she going to be naked?

Sean - do you have a twin?

[Alan Wheeler]

Are they panzies your wearing dear? or is it cold out

[CaptainK]

Alan =

CaptainK =

[Talbot]

It is interesting that Laurel Cooper (wife of the "sell up and Sail" couple)now admits to using an airplane for the long distance trips, and joins for the coastal hops only.

I was pleased to read that, as I never had any chance of getting my wife to do the long distance stuff, but swanning around in the west indies and then Galapagos has definitely got her attention.

[N.M.I.ke]

Originally Posted by seagypsywoman

Sex as a way of getting to know each other quickly? What's the rush? Why not romance to get to know each other slowly?

Because the pre-sex portion of the relationship is what I think (and most men will agree with me by silently nodding their heads) is best described as:

"The Tsunami of Lies"

[BC Mike]

Seagypsywoman asks if you have a twin. He is awfully nice, isn't he.
Sean could you try and look a bit more scrubby and try to not be so polite. You are setting a tough example for some of us.
Michael

[seagypsywoman]

NMI - And can a man keep up this Tsunami of Lies for a long time? My guess is he'll either trip on his own tongue somewhere along the way or give up and look for an easier target.

[PBzeer]

If a man and a woman have the same end in mind for where a relationship is going, then fast or slow will happen mutally. Or should, as both try to find middle ground between what pleases the other. Or in more cliched form....give nice, to get nice.

[Raven]

Originally Posted by swagman

But it is interesting, not just how few ladies have responded, but how few use this or other forums.

Is that a reflection of how few really do love sailing? Or a reflection on how few are as sad was we old gits - who spend far too long on cruising sites?

Cheers
JOHN

John,

I've been a member of this forum for about a week, and I had to chuckle at your question/observation once I realized that the topic "Women Afloat" was among the first to catch my eye. Somehow I just skipped right over the engines and electronics and anchoring topics, choosing instead to look for discussions that might include a mix of genders.

It is true that this and other forums are male dominated, but I have found that the women who do participate do a terrific job of broadening the discussion beyond finding the perfect boat and great gear to fill it with.

[Sandero]

My SO has no love of sailing, but she loves me and so we enjoy our time on board. I no longer expect her to fall in love with sailing, I am just concerned that she is careful... and she is... and is enjoying herself. This means when the weather does not cut it for her... we don't go out. But if we need to get home.. she is a real soldier and does not complain. She willingly does what she feels OK with, but expresses no interest in learning more about boats.

She is a wonferful soul and I am fortunate to have her as company. It's nice to have a lady around... they make things seem more "balanced".

[Raven]

Originally Posted by defjef

I no longer expect her to fall in love with sailing . .

Therein lies one of those great relationship dilemas. How important is it to either a man or a woman that their partner be similarly passionate about the things they like to do? At what point do things fall out of balance?

[S/V Elusive]

Originally Posted by Raven

Therein lies one of those great relationship dilemas. How important is it to either a man or a woman that their partner be similarly passionate about the things they like to do? At what point do things fall out of balance?

Dang good question. And, I think that it varies with different folk. In MY case, yes - I want someone who enjoys sailing, loves to get out and go, or, when required, work on the boat.

I look at it this way: If your passion is to go sailing, and your potential other half doesn't like it - have you found the right person? For those who's passion grabbed them after they met their significant other, it does pose a heck of a problem.

I want to cruise with a PARTNER .. not a passenger. I want to SHARE the experiences with someone I care and love. How frustrating to have such excitement and passion and not be able to share it.

:::tossing three cents on the table:::

[Brent Swain]

If you want to see the worst in people, put them under pressure. If you want to see the best in people, keep the pressure off. High pressure skipeprs are millstones around their own neck. This is supposed to be pleasure sailing. So where's the pleasure in sailing with someone who isn't enjoying themselves.Misery is unavoidably contagious in a small space.It's impossible to have a good time with someone who isn't.
Men, don't fear getting older, look foreward to the time when the little head is no longer doing all the thinking for the big one.
Brent

[CaptainK]

Men, don't fear getting older, look foreward to the time when the little head is no longer doing all the thinking for the big one.

Man, ain't that the truth!!

Also consider that even if sailing is not your partner's Goal in life, the feeling of accomplishment is universal. Once out on the water, a reluctant mate may find great satisfaction in his/her learned abilities to handle the boat, repair certain parts of the boat, or even tweek the sails.
I do feel it is absolutely imparitive that all crew members have the ability to sail the boat in an emergency, however, it is not necessary that all crew enjoy standing at the helm looking out over an endless expanse of water. I would not discount a partner because she looked at sailing as work, as long as she was willing to learn enough basics to keep the boat under control if I was injured or worse. My wife is still not comfortable docking the boat, but as far as I am concerned, she can slide it into a slip using the neighboring boat to guide, and the dock to stop if it gets her into a safe harbor in the case of my incapacitation. Property can be replaced or repaired. To effectively keep a watch, you do not have to steer a perfect course. To trim sails, you do not have to get that extra nth of a knot. An extra set of eyes while I sleep is all I ask.
The only true reason I would discount someone as a mate is if they achieved no satisfaction from cruising. No enjoyment of the places, no enjoyment of the people, and complete discomfort when aboard a boat.