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Old 18-04-2007, 20:17   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilverine
I am in a delimma with my wife. She doesn't want to even talk about living on a boat and it's my dream. I wonder if anyone has a story or two about not doing it and regretting it.

"of all sad word of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'it might have been'". JG Whittier
We met a guy in New Caledonia who was waiting for his wife to arrive - by plane. She wasn't keen on the ocean passages, and didn't really want to live on the boat full-time, whereas he did, so he would sail to a nice location, and she would fly in for a while and they would cruise the area together without her having to go through "all the hassles of getting there by boat". It worked very well for both of them, since she was still working and keeping the kitty topped up.

I must admit I've suggested something similar to my wife a few times since then!
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Old 18-04-2007, 22:25   #17
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I won't go into details. I think the it might have been line is romantic nonsense. It coulda happened a couple of times 20 years ago. Things happen. Play with the cards you are dealt. Then you make the best choices you can at the time. No regrets no I wish it was different.
As it happens I could never have imagined what the future would bring- a bit of an endurance test.
However the future isn't over yet, though it seems less infinite than it did, and hopefully it will have some more cruising.
My life could have been different but how the other paths would have worked out I don't know.
The one I had has had an impact on others so maybe I had to walk it.
Some general comments. When you are in the grind a life cruising or fishing may seem bliss - can get pretty boring after a while.
Cruising tropical islands in a nice boat with a nymph at the pulpit may be a nice fantasy but facts are most people don't last 6 months.
If your wife doesn't share your fantasy it may be that the idea of being wet, cramped, hot, or cold, scared, and yelled at, doing something she does not know much about and doesn't like, with no one to talk to, is her fantasy but not one she aspires to.
Actually I can see where she is coming from.
In fact she is pretty safe just saying yes dear for quite a while. By the time he gets to retirement a change from him may not be bad.
Goodness guys ever heard of selling the sizzle the tropical islands the Italian galleries, shopping in Paris, new friends, moonlight romance? Exotic food even.
So you think of being the bold adventurer while she has her fantasies of being a princess under the stars or whatever or vv. Or maybe small steps and a compromise?
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Old 19-04-2007, 00:03   #18
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what can i say? wife and i are separated with definite intent to call it quits. life happens. the boat did become a big issue with us at one point, but so did a lot of other things.

she didn't hate sailing, but her idea of it was proping her feet up and sipping on a glass of Chardonnay while i single-handed. and of course, God forbid the boat costing anything for maintenance or upkeep.
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Old 19-04-2007, 03:23   #19
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The moral of the story is:

A man has two heads and a single mind.

The big head strives for a way of life and succeeds for a while and then the little head pops up and says I want something too. Since the little head has more power in its youth it pretty much gets its way! That’s until it gets depressed, then the big head gets back the authority.

Then after a while the little head sees something it likes and takes over again. And it seems, if the little head is satisfied, it stays in charge even if the big head puts up a fight.

If the little head keeps getting its way then it's addicted, like a cocaine junkie. Then it'll bring other people into your life and keeps telling the big head "you like it". And that "your a good person for having all these other people".

In the mean time the big head is in chaos. It started out doing what it wanted then turns around and doing something else. So the big head keeps telling itself "well, if I just wait long enough, I'll get back to what I started".

For some they go through a catastrophic event and they do get back on the main course. But others that little head forgets all about that event and finds something else it wants. And the process starts all over again until another catastrophic event.

OR until the little head grows so old he doesn't have any power over the big head anymore.

Then the big head has most of the power…………………………._/)
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Old 19-04-2007, 06:08   #20
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Has anyone noticed the common thread of all these posts? It's always about the womans need, while the man leads a life of quiet desperation, eating to much fatty food and dying of coronary heart disease.
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Old 19-04-2007, 07:54   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven

So, although I'm not able to just cruise off into the wild blue right now, I'm able to live the life I choose, with one heck of a pleasant commute.


Yes, living aboard is great. I agree completely. It was a rude awakening recently realizing we can't go long range cruising, but the upside is a wonderful lifestyle.

The commute to work is definitely as pleasant as pleasant can be.
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Old 19-04-2007, 08:21   #22
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Cruising tropical islands in a nice boat with a nymph at the pulpit may be a nice fantasy
Huh, fantasy?

It could easily be done...

If the old Lady don't wanne come along, there are plenty of younger ones who will:

Some of my buddies have found young brides in South America, 'bout half their age.
I can see myself with a curvy bikini nymph, sailing into the sunset.

Or get 2, one that really likes cooking and cleaning and such, and another who really enjoys boat maintenance.

Hmmm, the mind is running away.
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Old 19-04-2007, 10:48   #23
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I've got a plan, not sure if it will work out, and it's not even a very detailed plan, but it's my plan.

After college, I will spend a few months to a couple of years saving up for a small but livable boat, probably under $10k. After that I will sail it up and down the coast of the US with possible occasional trips to the Carribean for a few years, all the while working whatever I can do wherever I am. Once I save up enough money from that to do something major, havn't thought that far ahead, but living aboard is definitly within 5 years, and cruising, at least for short periods of time will be soon afterwards.

Along with making this plan, and due to the fact that I currently have no significant other, I've decided I'm not going to let romance get in the way of the plan. If I find someone that wants to join me, great, but if they change their mind, I'm sorry but the plan will have to come first, and I will be up front about that.

I know this isn't really any help to those of you that are already stuck in a bad situation, but maybe... just maybe I can convince you that romance doesn't have to be the most important thing if your life, as selfish as that sounds, even to me, you deserve to be happy, and anyone holding you back from that is only being selfish themselves.

But yes, as was said earlier, do not make any spur of the moment decisions, take lots of time to think about major decisions.
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Old 19-04-2007, 11:16   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSY Man
I can see myself with a curvy bikini nymph, sailing into the sunset.

Or get 2, one that really likes cooking and cleaning and such, and another who really enjoys boat maintenance.
In your dreams. That's double trouble.

There is another moral to the story: A Woeman is single headed and has two minds.

The minds are always in conflict with each other and very competitive. The one mind is soft and sweet and the other is like a basketball player. And they both know how to manipulate the mans little head to get what they want.

But, always being in conflict they very seldom get very far in the world on their own. They use the manipulation of the little head to gain prosperity.

That's where the little head thinks he's having fun but the big heads is in chaos again.

Having two women in tight quarters is asking for trouble for sure.................._/)
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Old 19-04-2007, 11:33   #25
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We have been considering doing this too, but fear it will do weird things to our already reclusive ways. Plus, how, exactly do you fit a 3rd anti-social recluse in? Does it then become too social with 3 people? Divisions of power/labor/etc?


Anybody doing this and having it work out?

Quote:
Originally Posted by delmarrey
In your dreams. That's double trouble.

There is another moral to the story: A Woeman is single headed and has two minds.

The minds are always in conflict with each other and very competitive. The one mind is soft and sweet and the other is like a basketball player. And they both know how to manipulate the mans little head to get what they want.

But, always being in conflict they very seldom get very far in the world on their own. They use the manipulation of the little head to gain prosperity.

That's where the little head thinks he's having fun but the big heads is in chaos again.

Having two women in tight quarters is asking for trouble for sure.................._/)
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Old 19-04-2007, 11:45   #26
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My wife and I reached a compromise that I was not happy with when we began. We would cruise 6 months and spend 6 months ashore. Now that we have done it for a few years, I'm glad that she "stuck to her guns". Most of the cruisers that we have met, go ashore for part of the year.

We leave Nov.1 and return around mid May. Then we head to a small shack in the mountains where we enjoy fly-fishing, hiking, white water rafting and she gets to enjoy time with her family. Both life styles are verrrry laid back.

I agree with the notion of small steps, but if she doesn't enjoy the cruising life style (public showers, laundromats, small living spaces, 24/7 with your sorry ass) well.....you ain't going cruising.

A thought for those who want to go, but can't afford it. I have a daughter that just graduated college. I keep trying to explain to her, with little success, that people DO live full time and work in exotic places. Why not move to an exotic island and become a "local". Keep your boat there (or live aboard if possible) and enjoy exploring the surrounding area by boat. It may not be full-time cruising, but it sure beats the alternative...Pittsburg, Philly, Charlotte, Atlanta, Houston, LA....YUCK!!!

Roger
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Old 19-04-2007, 11:51   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sluissa
I've got a plan, not sure if it will work out, and it's not even a very detailed plan, but it's my plan.

After college, I will spend a few months to a couple of years saving up for a small but livable boat, probably under $10k. After that I will sail it up and down the coast of the US with possible occasional trips to the Carribean for a few years, all the while working whatever I can do wherever I am. Once I save up enough money from that to do something major, havn't thought that far ahead, but living aboard is definitly within 5 years, and cruising, at least for short periods of time will be soon afterwards.

Along with making this plan, and due to the fact that I currently have no significant other, I've decided I'm not going to let romance get in the way of the plan. If I find someone that wants to join me, great, but if they change their mind, I'm sorry but the plan will have to come first, and I will be up front about that.
Sounds like an excellent plan to me. As I said in the previous post, people do live and work in very exotic locations. Spend a few years moving around by boat and settle in somewhere that you love.

Good Luck....You can make it happen!!!!

Roger
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Old 19-04-2007, 11:54   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sluissa

I know this isn't really any help to those of you that are already stuck in a bad situation, but maybe... just maybe I can convince you that romance doesn't have to be the most important thing if your life, as selfish as that sounds, even to me, you deserve to be happy, and anyone holding you back from that is only being selfish themselves.

But yes, as was said earlier, do not make any spur of the moment decisions, take lots of time to think about major decisions.
What makes you think that sounds selfish. Living life on your own is not being selfish. Inviting someone along and then leaving them along the way IS selfish. But if they leave you then it's their problem.

It sounds like you have a good plan but you have to keep control of the little head. It will turn those plans up-side down.

Some of the great men out there had very large big heads which over powered the little heads. e.g. Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein, Mark Twain, Thomas Edison, Galileo Galilei, Isaac Newton, Bill Gates, and so on............_/)
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Old 19-04-2007, 11:56   #29
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Huh, fantasy?

It could easily be done...

If the old Lady don't wanne come along, there are plenty of younger ones who will:

Some of my buddies have found young brides in South America, 'bout half their age.
I can see myself with a curvy bikini nymph, sailing into the sunset.

Or get 2, one that really likes cooking and cleaning and such, and another who really enjoys boat maintenance.

Hmmm, the mind is running away.
CSY Man....What kind of cigarette is that hanging from your lips?
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Old 19-04-2007, 11:59   #30
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Boat or Wife?!!

I guess what some folk are saying here is that the choice may one day come down to...........Boat or Wife?

I know priorities do change, but to be honest at the moment I am happy to choose wife and ashore (of course in comparison to some I have time on my side)........hopefully in the future I won't have to choose (and no guarantee I will choose Boat ), but only time will tell........


chris_gee - I loved this: "However the future isn't over yet"
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