Scared sh@#less!

[Blue Crab]

Honesty sure is refreshing to read. And all these comments certainly line up what what one sees everyday in marinas and anchorages. Several folks mentioned that fear is normal and most of us push through it.

And some do not. Big deal. Eat the money and move on.

From a lifetime of boating and watching, I'd guess your biggest issue is the wife. You're only going to get one chance to get this right: Get her truly involved with running the boat. You can do the laundry. Find yerself a lady captain to train the wife and maybe yerself but not together. When you regroup you can forge a real team. You've got plenty of boat. Life is good.

If you screw up the wife thing then join the giant group of boat owners who rarely leave the dock.

[belizesailor]

Re docking and boat handling under power in general. As suggested get a good instructor and go out and practice. When I teach boat handling under power, I start in open water with some drills...students are more relaxed here since there is nothing to hit. Then drop a mark and practice stopping close it...bow, stern, side to. Then move on to a pier in an other wise open area....slow touch n go's...just getting close side to, pull away, repeat. On the last touch and go...just stop, step off, secure the lines. Most students are very comfortable by this point...its not the docking itself that causes anxiety...its approaching other objects...so do that a lot.

Some boats can indeed be tempermental in reverse, but they can ALL be backed. Again, go out in open water and practice backing. A good experienced instructor will be a big help here too...there are a lot of subtle tricks to backing uncooperative monos.

And, dont feel like the Lone Ranger, there are a surprising number of cruisers who cant handle their boats under power...even cat owners! (Really no excuse for that!)

In popular marinas you see so many boaters who cant handle their boats, that watching someone come in who can really handle their old traditional mono is a thing of beauty.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Its likely your sailing experience and boat handling has been in fin keelers.. a completely different animal..
Take here out and find a buoy somewhere quiet without a lot of traffic and practice reversing up to it, alongside it and controlled bow approaches.. the hardest thing to learn is think fast-go slow.. learn to avoid the panic full forward thrust then the full reverse you need to compensate all the while kicking you off where you want to end up..
She's a deep heavy boat so tidal currents are going to affect you more than wind.. learn to use them to your advantage at the buoy where you've space to play safely.
Slower is best.. despite what todays world teaches you.. [emoji3]
Get out in local waters and play.. in a few weeks you'll find 'local' has stretched quite a bit..

Never heard that term before " think fast go slow", ive tried to explain this to crew but haven't found the right words.thanks.

[Wotname]

Sea Frog,

You now have 3 pages of mostly excellent advice so allow me to add one more piece.

As you have posted, it is only your fear that is stopping you. Nothing for it except to face it squarely.

If the 3 pages of ideas aren't enough to overcome you fears, then look deeper inside yourself to find the source of the fear. It will be there somewhere () and it can be found if you are willing to look hard enough. Once found, it can be overcome easily - I promise - but while it remains hidden, it more difficult.

[Seabbatical]

Some of the best things in life are found on the other side of terror!

[Wotname]

Originally Posted by Seabbatical

Some of the best things in life are found on the other side of terror!

Perfect and succinct.

[Pelagic]

[QUOTE=zboss;2391614.

Don't hit concrete docks and don't hit other boats.

Where are you located?[/QUOTE]

Right beside you! ! [emoji1]

Seriously to the OP

I would be worried, if you were not worried.
it is healthy to doubt yourself until the practice and experience kicks in.

As a professional pessimist I just never try to show it when docking superyachts in tight or rough conditions, or making a tough transpacific passage in the wrong season.

You are doing your homework and the best you can.....just remember how far that has got you so far and be sensitive to your crew's newbie fears also, and take tiny steps nice and slow that helps all to relax.
I would not hire a captain but invite an experienced friend to go out with you and critique you own captaincy.
You own it, don't start by delegating the responsibility and best of luck!

[snort]

Try not to hit other boats, and if you do, make sure they're not the expensive kind. Also, if you hit something, try to hit soft things.
Watch out for really big waves higher than your mast. Let's see, what else? Icebergs! Stay away!
That's all.

[hpeer]

Sea Frog,

If I read you right you are afraid to go out, afraid you won't go out, afraid you wasted time and money, afraid.....

I get that. Non port o get afraid to go out. Off shore I get afraid to come in. Some of us are just like that.

Fear is never a reason to not do something. It's a damn good reason to think about what you are about to do but, for me, I can't let fear rule me. F#%^ it, do it. Fear will always be your companion. Might as well have fun with him.

[BlueSlue]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

If you screw up the wife thing then join the giant group of boat owners who rarely leave the dock.

Exactly. My mom was a good sport with my dad's boating until he had her out in conditions that were too rough for her comfort level. He did not turn around and go back to the harbor when she asked him to, dismissing her fear and discomfort. She refused to ever step foot on the boat again and it was sold about a year later.

[mogulskibum]

So the first "serious" sail boat we got was the proverbial free boat from a family friend. She was a 1964 Columbia C-29 Defender.

She sat on the hard for a few months while we repainted the bottom and replaced the seacocks and through hulls. The original atomic 4 had been removed and there was Honda 9.9 hanging on the stern.

We splashed her and she sat in the slip for a few months while I replaced the running rigging, and a few deck fittings.

Finally decided to take her out - I definitely was scared, worried, nervous, whatever you want to call it.

Start the engine, cast off the dock lines, put her in gear and slowly leave the slip. It was a little windy.

A few seconds later:

"shouldn't you be turning left?"

"I'm trying to"

"we really need to be turning left"

"the wheel is all the way left, it can't go any further"

"then why are we turning right?"

"I don't know, but you should take the boat hook and get ready to fend us off those boats that the wind is pushing us towards."

It rapidly got worse from there...

Ended up tied up on the wrong dock with a broken fuel line. Used a kayak to set a 150 foot warp back into our slip, and pulled us back in.

Turned out the Honda outboard was misaligned...

In a miracle the wife didn't make me sell the boat after that experience...

I will say though, that I have been nervous, and yes, a little scared every single time I've tried something new.

Flying a new sail. Anchoring. Pulling into a slip. Pulling up to the pump out dock. Pulling into a slip when the wind is blowing in a different direction. Staying at a new marina. Sailing at night. Pulling into a slip at night. Putting a reef in.

Then you do it, and you go "why was I worried about that?"

Which is the real lesson. Take little steps, you'll worry about every one of them, and then once you do it you'll wonder why you were worried.

Or else you will have had good reason to be worried. But in that case, you'll have a good story and a lesson learned.

[JPA Cate]

Think fast, go slowly....and carry LOTS of fenders. ...maybe not as many as in that picture, but enough so that if it's a large motor boat in the finger with you, you don't worry about damaging yourself or him if he's unfendered.

I want also to say, practice always helps with driving skills. Keep up the good work. It's time for your wife to learn enough to save herself if you have a heart attack, or any bad thing happen.

Ann

[Delancey]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Ann

Please excuse my thread drift, what does JPA mean? Thanks.

[JPA Cate]

PM sent.

And now, back to the discussion of what to do for cold feet. ..Actually, i must say that I agree that it is great to acknowledge the feeling, all of us have felt fear at one time and another, and then go deal with whichever aspects of it you can improve.

Ann

[South Bound]

Originally Posted by snort

Try not to hit other boats, and if you do, make sure they're not the expensive kind.

I've heard this advice many times. I am the owner of the least expensive and the smallest boat in any marina or anchorage I go to. I keep a good lookout whenever another boat approaches mine - just in case they might be following the advice