Scared sh@#less!

[Kenomac]

Sea Frog,

What year, make and model boat do you own?

[Kenomac]

Regarding excessive worries....

We're sort of the opposite, and tend to put the groceries on, fuel up if necessary, then cast off knowing with confidence that if and when something breaks or goes wrong, we have the necessary spares, tools and know how aboard to fix it or locate assistance. Which doesn't mean we're not prepared... I'm the guy with the fuel polishing system, 20 gallons of dinghy fuel and author of the recent fire extinguisher thread.

We're always anxious to get underway, even since the first day of boat ownership. No worries, so it's difficult to understand this concept of people doing this endless preparation behavior. Maybe some OCD in some cases?

Now that I think of it... OCD and boat ownership might not be the best combination.

[weavis]

As a medic, I recall the first time I had to a do an emergency tracheotomy. I was walking near a park in London UK and heard screeching metal near the entrance. When I got there, a man was laid on the side of the road with difficulty breathing, he had hit his throat on the steering wheel and his throat was crushed....

Now I had read all the books, practiced the procedure in my mind and knew what needed to be done... but I was only 3 weeks into my licence.

Gazing down at the man who was turning blue, I was filled with such terror at knowing I was the only person there capable of helping, and yet incapacitated by fear at doing it. Would I cut the wrong place? I only have a small sharp pen knife, would it be sterile enough? what could I use to keep the opening from closing?

At that point, a heard a voice in my head telling me to take a deep breath and do it anyway.. the worst that could happen is that he might die but not because I did nothing... I got into position and began.. Innovation came to me in the seconds of the procedure and I cut the end off a cheap BIC pen, removed the ink insert and placed in the opening. The emergency team got there as I finished. I remember one of the guys looking at the patient, assessing the situation and saying to me.. "Great job Doc... lucky for him".

I was more frightened to not do than do it.

In some ways sailing is like this. At some point the journey begins. At some point the line will be removed from the shore. At some point you will be at the helm directing the vessel. At some point you will need to be the Captain and make the decisions.

You will never be prepared for the things you are not prepared for. Yet all of your training and knowledge is in place.

At some point you will be stood in a fresh breeze with full sails and in love with having taken the chance. At some point you will realise the odd mistake made from here on in will not matter at all....

You are Captain of your destiny.

[dwedeking2]

Originally Posted by South Bound

I've heard this advice many times. I am the owner of the least expensive and the smallest boat in any marina or anchorage I go to. I keep a good lookout whenever another boat approaches mine - just in case they might be following the advice

Owner of a trawler followed this advice. Missed all the bigger more expensive boats surrounding me even though I was tucked in tight to the dock.

I'm taking possession of my new boat this afternoon.

[johnyhask]

I'm buying a 40 footer to liveaboard. Never owned a sailboat before only small power boats ribs etc. Done lose to zero sailing. Like you was nervous about the slipping and docking. Did competent crew course with Sunsail (then dayskipper) on the dayskipper course we spent hours practicing docking with an instructor spent the week living aboard a 47 footer so in the end looking at 40 footers they seemed a lot smaller. It did my confidence the world of good. Perhaps a course with you and your wife would be the way to go? Good luck

[Bjorn_O]

When docking, you will never come 100% straight in all the times. Dont be ashamed to abort and try again. In the beginning of each summer I have to try 2, 3 or up to 5 times to get straight in, even after 40 years experience.

[Suijin]

The spectrum of "experience to worry" quotient has a pretty broad spectrum. Where you sit on it is largely a function of your personality and individual psychology. The ultimate question is how much do you need to know for it to be safe to leave the dock and set out. Since you'll never know what you don't know until you know it, and there's no way of evaluating what you don't know, and experience is the best means of acquiring the necessary knowledge, it stands to reason that the sooner you set out and get going the better.

I know a couple that has spent over 10 years at a dock preparing their boat for casting off and sailing the world. The boat has been essentially rebuilt, at tremendous expense. He anguishes over every little detail, full of book learning and theory, and there is no end in sight to this ordeal. They have wasted 10 years of their lives (relative to what their goals and aspirations were and are) on this project. And I know a few more people/couples in the same boat, so to speak.

I know another couple that hails from Iowa. They had never set foot on a sailboat before, bought a Shannon, spent a week doing some varnishing, and boom, they were gone, vamanos. They're doing great and having a ball. I know quite a few more couples like this.

There's a lot to be said for experience, both with the boat and it's systems, and time at sea. But at a certain point you have to just go, because perfection is the enemy of good enough and there is an endless amount to learn about boats and seamanship. If you waited until you thought you knew enough, you'd never leave.

Those that are most successful are the ones that take off and take baby steps for awhile, progressively acquiring the skills and knowledge and experience that they need to move on to the next step of their development as sailors and cruisers. But the important point is that they head out sooner rather than later and learn as they go.

[barnakiel]

Yep.

One cannot jump over their personality traits - if you are a worryior, you are one. Swallow it and act in accordance with this knowledge. You see, all this preparation has by now brought forward at least one good thing for you - you have learned something (new?) about yourself! This is GOOD.

Now where off to from here. I think, since you already know you are a scary cat, would it not be FUN to go out and see what other scary moments there are waiting for you out there? I mean, you have already been thru the part where YOU decided YOU know what is best for your kid. You have actually bribed your wife with that washing machine too ...

So, I think, since you are actually in the wrong boat with your bribed wife and your kid that will inevitably hate sailing and turn villain ... why not stop varnishing, cut the lines and sail South? Step by step, say 100 miles a week? Move on to a place you like, stop for two days, move on, find another place you like. And when you get to a corner, then perhaps you will start wondering what is behind the corner ...

Worries are just that. They are there and they will likely wane over time as you are building your cruising miles. In a year ... you will look back and LAUGH. Or not. The FUN is ALONG THE WAY. You can only find it moving on.

Go, bro, go!

Cheers,
b.

[Blue Crab]

That was figurative language above. Don't cut those lines, just untie them after you clean the varnish brush well. Nylon and badger bristles don't grow on trees.

[cajucito]

I had a few doubts before i untied last year thats only natural. Just slip the lines and go and resolve to solve every problem as best you can and dont have any shedules or timelines. I have 7000 nm sailed now including transatlantic and i just loved every second of it. My boat is now in Grenada for huricane season cant wait to get back sailing in oct. JUST DO IT You will never look back or have regrets. Its a million times better than you can ever imajine

[Mike OReilly]

In times like this I draw upon the wisdom and practices of my wise ancient mentor. Just keep repeating to yourself:

"I must not fear, fear is the mindkiller, fear is the little death that brings total oblivion.
I must not fear, fear is the mindkiller…”

Author: Peter Puppy, esq.

[cajucito]

I struggled with a endless list of things THAT MUST BE DONE BEFORE WE LEAVE. In the end I said im out of here on Monday regardless. And i left on that day and never looked back. Only take advice from those who have done it. There are 1000's of dreamers who think they know everything but they have never left the dock for extebded cruising.
Here is what you need for extended cruising
Good dsc vhf radio
Good sails and strong rigging
Good anchors and prenty chain
Good plotter with AIS transponder. (Best kit to have on board) tablet or phone plotter backup
Good fridge and freezer if you have room
Engine must be good
You need charts for your cruising area.
A satelite communicator is a must i used delorme inreach explorer. It worked very well everywhere.
You need a good tender and outboard and a serviced life raft is essential. You need lifejackets and harnesses for all crew.
Avoid dodgy weather at all costs if you have inexperienced crew untill they get used to a few weeks at sea.
A small bit of luck will be great if you can get it
Enjoy

[Hasbeen]

Interesting how different cruising is in different places.


I did 53,000 nautical miles around the pacific islands, & never ever went alongside a jetty, or into a marina berth. Most of the islands had no jetty or other facilities.

[Rhapsody-NS27]

First thing I thought was to take this course. Might help your comfort level with docking.

ASA-118 Docking Endorsement

[Sailor_Lori]

I usually don't get involved in conversations but your post reminds me of myself when I first started sailing. You have to ask yourself, what is fear? Fear is the unknown!!!! The only way to beat fear is to face it head on.. And the day you stop being nervous, or don't have a little fear here and there, and you think you have it mastered is the day you need to walk away. Everyone can tell you what they would do, and give you advice, but in the end it is a decision that only you can make . I still get nervous when a storm hits, or when docking, and in several other situations lol, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying the life I chose.