LOVE THEM OR LEAVE THEM?

[Charlie]

Like Rebel Heart I made it clear that I woldn't marry someone who was not interested in cruising. She said she did not want to selll the house to do it. WE were in agreement there. 12 years later the problem was we never defined cruising.Figuring out the Middle is the problem. Right now we are ging to go cruising for 3 months. I hope to get it up to 7 or 8 months out of the year. Kids are still in 4th and 6th grade. I've said it before though -- its like making rock soup. The kids are interested in learning to surf in Mexico and the admiral likes the idea of traveling. Being flexible is one key not having debt is another.

And by the way I wouldn't divorce my wife if she didn't want to go cruising but I would leave her while I was cruising and then she could fly in and meet me when I got somewhere she wanted to be.

[David M]

I would never leave my wife to go cruising. No way...no how.

My life with her is my everything...and if she does not end up liking cruising then that's how it is. If things do not work out then we can take a few cruise ship trips and I will bring along a helm, put it on the upper deck and pretend I am steering.

[Knottygirlz]

Originally Posted by knottybuoyz

I'm pretty sure and she'll confirm that, but if she even caught a whiff of me about to take off w/o her she'd go first and leave me behind. Guess I'm lucky that way I gots me a good KnottyGirlz who luvs the boating as much or more than me! Right dear?

Yep! ya got that right, dear!

Originally Posted by knottybuoyz

For us I guess our sailing (boating) dreams are definitely entwined although I started it all! She agrees too that we've both got no interest in any long distance offshore adventures. I'd sooner load the boat on a ship and send it across the big ponds.

Rick definitely started it. I love the water and was thinking along the lines of a cottage when we started to talk about boating. To me it made perfect sense. The lack of off shore, long distance boating was not exactly an agreement - it is a sort of mutual understanding that there are many, many places we want to go and many waterways we would like to explore in North America. Afterwards who knows? Sheez that's twice I admitted he was right

It helps that Rick and I already do most things together and think along similar lines. Nothing will test compatability more that being together on a boat for days or weeks at a time.

Lori

[rebel heart]

It probably helped me that I made it clear that I wanted to do a circumnavigation, and didn't make it vague like "cruising".

I don't how to explain it, but really at this point the idea of not doing it, for both of us, would be like short changing ourselves and our future children. My fiancee is in the v berth right now reading, and I'm in the cabin typing this. We've been through so much so far to keep the dream alive, and have tons more to go. But to give up before we start would be unfathomable.

She wants to spend some time in France, so I'm trying to incorporate that in as well. I've got some French charts, and some books on the canals, so as much as we can, we try to make eachother's dreams spill over into being "our" dreams.

[Keegan]

Originally Posted by rebel heart

It probably helped me that I made it clear that I wanted to do a circumnavigation, and didn't make it vague like "cruising".

I don't how to explain it, but really at this point the idea of not doing it, for both of us, would be like short changing ourselves and our future children. My fiancee is in the v berth right now reading, and I'm in the cabin typing this.

Come on tell the truth, you have her chained in the VBerth so she cannot run away

BTW-I am selling my Panda 40 in San Diego as we speak. I know all about those double-enders that you guys are shacked up in.

Keegan

[High Cotton]

I once saw a bumper sticker in Key Biscayne on an F-150 that said "the more I understand women, the more I LOVE my TRUCK!"...... I'm assuming that could apply to a gorgeous sailboat, as well!

[Seeratlas]

For the original poster, I will posit this:

LIFE IS TEAM SPORT.

Most of us older types seem to favor sticking with the same teammate, once your finally track one down <wink>...these newer generations seem a lot more flexible. I can assure you, however, that if and when you ever fall truly in love, you will find it won't matter much where you go or what you do,

For, as long as you're with *her* its all good, and it doesn't get any better.

If your dreams of cruising off into the sunset don't feature your intended's face right smack in the middle of the screen...you probably have no business getting married, at least not yet.

seer

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by Seeratlas

For the original poster, I will posit this:

LIFE IS TEAM SPORT.

So why not trade up for a talented free agent in the off-season - LOL

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by High Cotton

I once saw a bumper sticker in Key Biscayne on an F-150 that said "the more I understand women, the more I LOVE my TRUCK!"...... I'm assuming that could apply to a gorgeous sailboat, as well!

Here's a quote off a bumper sticker I just seen last week that hits home or should say, use too.

"It's better to lose a lover then to love a loser"

[Celestialsailor]

Difficult to discuss. There are sooooo many factors to consider. Wife #2 was my best friend when we married. She was totally into the boat but we ahd to raise her 3 kids and my 1, first. We boat a boat and a house. The kids grew but unfortunately our dream did not. She got everything....but the boat. Priorities!

[Lancerbye]

I've been married to the same woman for forty years. I have scared the hell out of her on several occasions out on boats. She is still here so, I guess I'll keep her. They take too long to train. LOL

[caribnsol]

I am working through this situation now. Last kid out of the house, retired military (monthly check) and wife is dragging her feet. Worked hard and long to be able to move on the boat and go, now getting the "selfish" line. She says I am trying to make her unhappy, but is not concerned that she is making me unhappy. Hopefully all will work out, I have no desire to keep working for the next 20 years paying for houses and cars.

[Jackstee]

Ok
Difficult to answer I think honestly, I had my first canoe at 3 and a cadet dingy at 5. Always lived near the coast and joined the RN at 15.5. Sailed a lot then as well.
Jackie, my wife and best mate, had her first time in a 24 footer we bought in Abu Dhabi.
She loves the marina/ at anchor time, with cheese and bikies,bott of chilled wine and a touch of Dire Straights.
As such she is willing and sometimes whole hartedly joines in during the get from "A" to "B" times. In fact I can see her now with gusts of 30, just befor we went into a Greek Isl, and she had to change the flag.
Now it's ten years since we were on our own boat, and are planning a month in May to get to know our HT. I go slowly with plans, not a prob, we are after all a team, and maybe by the time May is over we will be back to how we were before. ( But of course, older)
I have to say, it is much better , I think, doing it this way, than going my own way. It's taken us 30 years , add another couple for getting used to a new boat. No way am I going through that again.
By the way, for the romantics, make sure you tell each other that you luv us/them. That way the extra budget for a new jib is not so expensive.
Happy sailing all couples.

Steve

[TaoJones]

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

So why not trade up for a talented free agent in the off-season - LOL

Well, if the team wins, it's great! If the team doesn't win, it's just another over-priced prima donna bringing bad chemistry into the "locker room."

TaoJones

[Ex-Calif]

Originally Posted by TaoJones

Well, if the team wins, it's great! If the team doesn't win, it's just another over-priced prima donna bringing bad chemistry into the "locker room."

TaoJones

Well it should liven up batting practice for a while...