I've Gone and Done it Now

[Seagullf111a]

Great news. You will love the IP. Fair winds my pilot brother.

[Backloop]

Congratulations & good luck A64. We are in similar circumstances, on the Gulf Coast as well. Please continue to post progress / results of your trip.

[IdoraKeeper]

I now regret mentioning that I chose to leave my wife on the beach during Idoras shake down cruise..now the crab has got his claws into it and the lady mariner's are piping up with displeasure. Nevertheless in my case it was a good decision. The head plugged on the first day, the starter solenoid failed on the second day, the batteries went flat on the third day, the beer ran out on the fourth day. With flat batteries the propane solenoid had to be bypassed, had to jump the starter solenoid with a screw driver. Couldn't sail off the anchor due to light winds, current and Lee shore........great fun for me and the boys .....wife? Not so much. It took two years to fix all the stuff I found in just a few days. Just sayin.......

[Cuttyhunk]

Originally Posted by IdoraKeeper

I now regret mentioning that I chose to leave my wife on the beach during Idoras shake down cruise..now the crab has got his claws into it and the lady mariner's are piping up with displeasure. Nevertheless in my case it was a good decision. The head plugged on the first day, the starter solenoid failed on the second day, the batteries went flat on the third day, the beer ran out on the fourth day. With flat batteries the propane solenoid had to be bypassed, had to jump the starter solenoid with a screw driver. Couldn't sail off the anchor due to light winds, current and Lee shore........great fun for me and the boys .....wife? Not so much. It took two years to fix all the stuff I found in just a few days. Just sayin.......

I'm not too worried about a64's situation. I don't remember him asking for advice on whether or not to "bring his wife along" -- he just said the two of them were going to do it, with some professional help. It's the other posters who just had to advise him to take the trip without her.

If it worked out for you to do your first trip without your life partner, that is great and I hope she loves the boat as much as you do now! I guess I don't quite understand why a guy would buy a liveaboard boat without full, informed buy-in from his wife. If she needs to be shielded from the realities of boating, then he doesn't have full buy-in yet.

The way cruising is described on this forum seems so 1960s. What post-Title IX woman is going to want to revert back to a lifestyle where the man is totally running the show? Isn't this a recipe for disaster? Stuff breaks all the time. You won't be able to hide that fact long-term. If you married eye-candy who doesn't want to cruise, then cater to what your eye-candy wants and stay on land.

As for women like us being rare, I am heartened to report that there are over 2000 members of the Women Who Sail group on Facebook. They are knowledgeable, capable women and I have read more comments than I can count about how a poster gave up on Cruisers Forum quickly, because it is so snarky and sexist. At this point, if I have a question, I am as likely to look for the answer there as I am here.

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by IdoraKeeper

I now regret mentioning that I chose to leave my wife on the beach during Idoras shake down cruise..now the crab has got his claws into it and the lady mariner's are piping up with displeasure. Nevertheless in my case it was a good decision. The head plugged on the first day, the starter solenoid failed on the second day, the batteries went flat on the third day, the beer ran out on the fourth day. With flat batteries the propane solenoid had to be bypassed, had to jump the starter solenoid with a screw driver. Couldn't sail off the anchor due to light winds, current and Lee shore........great fun for me and the boys .....wife? Not so much. It took two years to fix all the stuff I found in just a few days. Just sayin.......

So now you must be asking yourself, "Hmmm, which decision do I regret most, fixing the boat up before I brought the Admiral onboard, or publicly admitting it on an internet forum?"


I once asked a GF what women did for entertainment before cell phones were invented and they came out with unlimited calling plans. Cook dinner? Clean the house? Make the bed?

I didn't see her for the next 3 days. Then the swelling subsided and the doc says I may actually get to see clearly out of both eyes after all.


This brings up the age old question: what do women really want? The logical answer would be: ask them. Easier said than done. If they knew what they wanted, many a cave man wouldn't have slept in the woods or at his buddies' cave for the night. There is no one answer because hormone levels cannot be accurately predicted. It's a scientific fact. Sure, she tells you she doesn't want flowers and chocolates for Vajayjay Day, but if you buy her a vacuum cleaner, you'll soon find it firmly lodged up your kiester.

Relationships are like Vietnam. Hot and steamy at first, but you soon realize there is no winning, just a lot of jungle warfare with no regard for the Geneva Convention, some insanely evil torture techniques, with some men being held prisoner for decades.

[Blue Crab]

Cereal monotony seems to work both directions, IME.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcdyC8L_U7A

:flow ers:

[jtsailjt]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

A64pilot:

I strongly recommend that you not take your good lady out and make her cold, wet, and terrified. That is not the best introduction to cruising.

Talk with her about coming on the delivery trip, because while there may be difficulties, I think she can learn a lot; and with the delivery captain's brain to pick, as well as yours, it could be a great experience for her. It will please her 20 yrs. down the road that she was along, helping, on the delivery trip.

Newt:

The second part of your post really caught my gender bias attention. Even an uninformed woman can be more use than merely to select soap. There is no reason to assume from anything he has written that A64Pilot's wife would not pitch in and help in any way she could. And sometimes another pair of hands can be quite useful.

Ann

My wife and I bought our boat last fall and didn't close until Thanksgiving so our first experience aboard was sailing up the Chesapeake on Thanksgiving Day when it didn't get above freezing until almost noon. I've had boats before so knew what the experience would be like and told her ahead of time. But she was as excited about our new toy as I was so of course she wanted to be aboard and I'd have been disappointed if she didn't! The first day was COLD, so cold that we only saw one small outboard fishing boat, one cruising catamaran headed south, and one large ship all day between Annapolis and the C&D Canal. Everybody else had sense enough to stay inside and enjoy their turkey dinner. But I bet that our shared can of hot soup in the cockpit and a peanut butter sandwich followed by a cup of hot tea seemed just as nice to us as any big dinner would have. Then, on the second day it was time to take a vacuflush apart to replace the duckbills(yucky!) and replace holding tank hoses and macerator pump so the old, cracked macerator pump would stop oozing nastiness. Never a complaint from her all the way up the bay and she was right there with her hair dryer helping me reinstall the new waste hoses and pump. Then, the 3rd day aboard it was time to prepare for winter haulout and that meant making sure we had non toxic anti freeze everywhere that could possibly crack and she was right there with me as we lifted all the floorboards and traced all the hoses and figured out the best way to fill them. I suppose I took a risk because she might have been very turned off by the reality of freezing winds out there with no protection and poking around in the bilge and struggling to cut waste hoses without the right tools and trying to fit hoses and pumps together in a tight spot in such a way that they don't interfere with anything else. But it's her boat too so even if I wanted to, how could I say no, and to what purpose? I got to enjoy her company and assistance, and now we have that first sail on our new boat as a special memory together and when I mention that forward bilge pump that's controlled by that switch back behind the nav station chair, she knows just what I'm talking about and can visualize it. I'll do everything i can to make sure she's comfortable aboard but she and I both want it to be OUR boat, not my boat with her just a passenger. That means that she is a full partner (and eventually becomes the primary helmsman, and me the line handler since I'm stronger and have a longer reach) and gets to have the same satisfaction and confidence I do from eventually knowing pretty much every little detail about our boat and why everything works (or doesn't) the way it does. Just as much as the glorious afternoon sail in a stiff breeze or enjoying an incredible sunset together over drinks in the cockpit, it's all part of owning and enjoying a cruising sailboat. I don't want to cheat her out of any of it and she feels the same way. So, my advice would be to realistically explain what the shakedown cruise will entail and let her make the choice, but I'd strongly encourage her to come along. It won't be that bad and once you get the boat just the way you want it, she'll be right there with you with a full understanding and appreciation of how far you've all (you, her, and the boat) come together.

[Blue Crab]

Come on Jt, give us some paragraphing. You have a lot of good stuff to say; help us read it Cap.

And yes, I was an English teacher in one of my lives. Naturally, my opinion is worth what you paid for it.

Hey IdoraKeeper, you obviously made the proper choice if the wife is enjoying sailing the boat. Your shakedown mirrors several CFs I've been part of.

[jtsailjt]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

Come on Jt, give us some paragraphing. You have a lot of good stuff to say; help us read it Cap.

And yes, I was an English teacher in one of my lives. Naturally, my opinion is worth what you paid for it.

Hey IdoraKeeper, you obviously made the proper choice if the wife is enjoying sailing the boat. Your shakedown mirrors several CFs I've been part of.

Very good idea, and if the "edit" button hadn't disappeared I'd do it right now. Next time, I promise!

[s/v Beth]

I see I have really stepped in it. Looking back on my post, I can see how it would appear sexist. Actually the opposite is true. My wife is my best friend. She gets on the boat and immediately starts working sealing deck joints, finding mouse poop (or killing them) while I'm changing the oil or up the mast checking the rigging. I in no way meant to suggest that women cannot do everything a man can do.
The reason I suggested that there only be one inexperienced person on a bluewater delivery is my experience with multiple newbies out on the ocean is not a positive one. I have sailed those waters and 10 days for that passage does not make for a pleasant cruise. And this is a used boat. Things will break and just not work on this voyage. Out of my wife and I, I tend to be able to adjust and do with out a lot of things out in the wet thing, in fact that part of delivery is fun for me unless things are getting dangerous. My wife is different. She likes things ordered, shipshape. The frig should work and the berths clean.
There were too many things wrong with the boat for her to like our delivery, but that does not mean she's not a excellent sailor.
So each to his own. If you like sailing a boat with one working electronic and old sagging sails because your excited about what you are going to do with it but your S.O. is more excited about just sailing then you understand me. Sex has nothing to do with it, just perspective.

[letsgetsailing3]

Originally Posted by s/v Beth

The reason I suggested that there only be one inexperienced person on a bluewater delivery is my experience with multiple newbies out on the ocean is not a positive one. I have sailed those waters and 10 days for that passage does not make for a pleasant cruise. And this is a used boat. Things will break and just not work on this voyage. Out of my wife and I, I tend to be able to adjust and do with out a lot of things out in the wet thing, in fact that part of delivery is fun for me unless things are getting dangerous. My wife is different. She likes things ordered, shipshape. The frig should work and the berths clean.
There were too many things wrong with the boat for her to like our delivery, but that does not mean she's not a excellent sailor.

I think you're comments are spot-on, and shouldn't be viewed as sexist at all. I'm also guessing that A64 will be a little more aware from having read it.

I think he's already committed, though, so it may just be that he wants to lean a little harder towards the right verbiage in his discussions with his significant other.

His boat is gorgeous, and has been surveyed, so most everything should be in working order to begin with. The temperatures are quite good, and it's a good time of year. So he has a lot going for him.

He'll also have a professional captain along, so I think he has his bases covered.

[a64pilot]

Wow a lot going on while I was away.
First I would leave the Admiral at home if I could, but honestly I need the extra pair of hands. There are only four of us total, and no autopilot, truthfully I'd like to have another person if I could as that could mean eight hours off between two hour watches. We spent last weekend on the boat just cleaning mostly, but used the heads quite a lot. Cycled three full tanks of water through the system to try to clean the water tank">fresh water tank, although I will not use it for drinking. It has two heads, both in need of rebuilds, but hopefully at least one will last through the trip. Plastic bags in the bowl is a brilliant back-up plan, I won't have the special ones, but we will have something.
I'll have a pair of Honda Gen's, so even if the alternator packs it up I have a back-up for battery charging. I have a spare set of belts, a thermostat, several sets of fuel filters, a spare injector. I've added bio-cide to the fuel so if there were bugs, I'll know pretty quick when I clog filters.
My plan is to stay inside until Ft. Pierce to shake things down, then jump out and go. I have a sea-tow gold membership too.
Once around the keys, do a bee line to Panama City through the Gulf. Probably take six days or so to get around the keys so hopefully we will feel better about her by then.
I figure we will need to stop for fuel, water and pump the tanks every three days. Fuel tank is 57 Gl. I plan on carrying twenty in jugs. It's a 4JHE, so I'm thinking a gallon an hour burn?
I doubt we will be cold, but you can never tell about the weather, I don't believe forecasts more than 72 hours out.
I appreciate the tip on getting cutlery etc. from Salvation Army stores, nothing wrong with that. Often you can get really high quality stuff at second hand stores for pennies
We did splurge on the Magma nesting pots and pans though.
I know this trip is going to be a Bear, it's not cruising, we will be in delivery mode and ideally I would leave her home, but on the flip side of that, neither of us know anything at all about sailing and nine days with a professional instructor, we have to learn something, right?

[s/v Beth]

A64- my fuel burn is about .5 gal per hour on a beta 38 @2000 rpm. So a gal/hour is a good est. Do plan on a beat up the west coast. Do not linger on the east side or keys thinking you have plenty of time. As your captain will tell you, you don't.
If you seriously need another hand for solo watch keeping- an investment in one or two seamen should be considered. They are usually inexpensive, and well worth it until you guys learn your way around the ocean.
I know a lot of you think I am overly concerned. If they come back with a glowing report how everything was wonderful I will apologize. But let's wait for the trip report for that one. If there's one thing that I have a lot of first hand knowledge of, its old boats and sailing hubris.

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by jtsailjt

Very good idea, and if the "edit" button hadn't disappeared I'd do it right now. Next time, I promise!

If the edit button could be extended overnight, even just for me, I'd probably delete half my posts. I crack me up.

@Newt: I thought you might catch it for the soap comment but SoCalMax conveniently covered all our naysaying butts with his brave and hilarious post.

@A64: Come on, sir. Get us a Spot to watch and kibbutz on. Also, you are a perfect candidate for use of a "day tank" for fuel. Your plan with the bugs and filters is reactive. I'd be thinking proactively. What shakedown cruises do is shake things up. And not in a good way. Or, can you get the fuel polished? And don't leave on Friday. Or is it Monday? It's one of the days that end in "y".

[a64pilot]

You guy's don't jinx me now.
leaving early Sat morning, I doubt I'll have much internet connectivity or the time truthfully. I don't expect this to become a Scoobert kind of trip, I hope not anyway I'll let you know how things are going by phone if possible. I expect to have phone coverage at the beginning, but as you guys know the cell towers aren't "aimed" off shore

One way or another, it will be interesting