41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

[cheoah]

Hi Carolina, I was in your shoes over the last 6-8 years. I'm 40 now and the kids are 18 and 14. Sounds like you're not really looking to run away, but rather start living some of your dreams. Don't really know about the marriage situation but if you can imagine it working, then might be worth redoubling your efforts there. Not to be presumptuous about your situation, but at times then I really did not want to be married to my wife, my sailing kept me trying because it was much harder to make it work divorced. Your situation is your own, and I wish you luck there. If theres hope in it working I'd give you all kids of tips and pointers for getting your wife involved but instead I'll stick to your questions.

Yes you can make this work and involve your kids. Go ahead and take a sailing class in Charleston, Oriental, or Washington like you mentioned - by yourself. A basic keelboat course will get you going. Then I would consider getting a trailerable sailboat for local mountain lakes. You can get something like a Catalina 25 on a trailer for $5000 (or less) and that will keep you busy for a while. Keeping it at Keowee or HArtwell will allow you to use it and learn to sail, develop skills, and also bring your kids along when you want. Little kids love lakes, swimming, getting pulled behind the boat, and dad time in general. Then you can get away by yourself from time to time too. Or trailer it to the coast, from FL to ME.

This way you can keep your job, and keep your kids lives consistent and let your voyaging plans unfold. If you have a boat, it may make soccer and the rest of the routine much more bearable. Has for me, and we've had some great times. You can start to pursue this and handle your family obligations. Best of luck-

[Carolina Blue]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

I've found there to be many helpful people along the way in the anchorages, there's no shortage of helpful advice, however, don't expect them to do the work for you. You'll need the basic mechanical, electrical and woodworking skills to build on.

The cruising crowd tends to lend a hand to one another, but... if you somehow end up in a marina... that can be a much different experience with the sharks circling and some pirates looking to take advantage of your situation. When I say pirates, I'm talking about the high paid, incompetent fools the locals won't hire; but as a newbee in town, it's difficult to tell the sharks from the experts some time. Also, it's really sort of a barter system where if a fellow cruiser helps you out, be prepared to give them a hand doing what you can... nothing is free.

Another poster claims that you really don't need much sailing experience... I think that's nonsense, as I've been playing dodge-boat all day in this anchorage in Menorca, with fools either dragging anchor into me or the idiot we towed off the rocks with our dinghy yesterday... only to have him drag into me within the hour.

You'll need to know what you're doing before you set out; otherwise, it will be you on the beach. I should have laid claim to that fool's boat.... not even a thank you from him after two hours time spent saving his British ass. But I guess I'm just repaying the karma from when a very nice powerboater named Steven helped me out whilst in Guernsey last summer :-)

Thanks for the wisdom in the words and the deeper message. I am certainly taking in what everyone is sharing. Some I am taking with a grain of salt. I don't see myself doing anything major for a while (right now I don't even know what a while is ) However, I am looking at sailing schools to fullfill the reality portion of this undertaking, reading books for knowledge, and looking a youtube videos to quench the dream. Its funny how in a matter of 30minutes I can go from a insanely excited, to horrifying fear and doubt. Hearing the different realties of all the posters on this forum are helping to alleviate the fear and temper the excitement.

[Teknav]

Think of it this way...when a woman announces that she is pregnant, everyone and their great great great grand neighbor will tell her about their horrible experiences during their pregnancies and their deep agony in the delivery room. Statistically, less than 2% of all pregnancies and deliveries ever get a weee-bit "exciting". On here, you'll need more than a weee-bit of salt grains; nevertheless, lotsa threads are entertaining.
Mauritz
I'm going to behave now!

[salticrak]

Well with all this wisdom on board, what sir are you going to do?

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Carolina Blue

Crimea, I have no dreams of being anchored for longer than I must. Coastal trips sound good but I really want to gain the skills and ability (money,boat, and etc) to explore "far flung corners of the earth".
Thanks for the advise about the "Boat Corner". I will do this?

Most far flung corners are attached to a bit of coast and boat troubles either directly involve it (bump!) or from having to avoid it being in places and times less than ideal. and that includes when anchored. Most yachts don't sink during long passages.

What I am saying is that don't discount the coastal end of boating as dull or a no brainer, including those near "home". (the sea gods don't care whether you have travelled half way across the bay or half way across the world - yer still can't walk home ). Apart from being fun will throw up challenges both as learning events and simply things to overcome every bit as real (and life threatening) as elsewhere in the world.

Not to say that you need to spend 25 years bobbing around your local coast before heading elsewhere, but nonetheless time spent locally and coastally is time well spent as far better for the first bit of unfamiliar coast you learn to deal with is not one at the end of an epic voyage (you will find that even coast known to you changes at times to become far less familiar). Of course boats and people can do (and get away with) a lot - but being prudent is about upping the odds (and decreasing reliance on blind luck).

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Teknav

Think of it this way...when a woman announces that she is pregnant, everyone and their great great great grand neighbor will tell her about their horrible experiences during their pregnancies and their deep agony in the delivery room. Statistically, less than 2% of all pregnancies and deliveries ever get a weee-bit "exciting". On here, you'll need more than a weee-bit of salt grains; nevertheless, lotsa threads are entertaining.
Mauritz
I'm going to behave now!

But nonetheless useful to know beforehand that it's gonna sting a little bit .

[JPA Cate]

DOJ,

Someone once said, "Every man should have to give birth to a child shaped like a rocking chair."

Ann

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

DOJ,

Someone once said, "Every man should have to give birth to a child shaped like a rocking chair."

Ann

[Teknav]

...ahhhh...if men could get pregnant...
Mauritz
Going to behave now!

[thomm225]

If CB has little sailing experience, it would be good to get a small lightweight boat so when you pull a "string" you can see the effect. But, if it ain't a catamaran, may as well get one boat that can do it all.

I bought a Bristol 27 (for $2,000 see attached) as my first (monohull) sailboat. It's terribly inefficient, but it can take me anywhere. It has brought me home quite a few times on autopilot during small craft advisories while I was dry heaving over the side. The boat seemed to be telling me that I didn't know squat and took us home like the 7+ foot choppy bay waves were nothing.

Check out this site if you want an affordable but slow full keel monohull now that can take you anywhere.

Atom Voyages - Good Old Boats List


This boat is awesome as you probably already know: (did he flip off the camera guy? That guy's awesome.)

Slow Motion Contessa 26.wmv - YouTube

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

I've found there to be many helpful people along the way in the anchorages, there's no shortage of helpful advice, however, don't expect them to do the work for you. You'll need the basic mechanical, electrical and woodworking skills to build on.

The cruising crowd tends to lend a hand to one another, but... if you somehow end up in a marina... that can be a much different experience with the sharks circling and some pirates looking to take advantage of your situation. When I say pirates, I'm talking about the high paid, incompetent fools the locals won't hire; but as a newbee in town, it's difficult to tell the sharks from the experts some time. Also, it's really sort of a barter system where if a fellow cruiser helps you out, be prepared to give them a hand doing what you can... nothing is free.

Another poster claims that you really don't need much sailing experience... I think that's nonsense, as I've been playing dodge-boat all day in this anchorage in Menorca, with fools either dragging anchor into me or the idiot we towed off the rocks with our dinghy yesterday... only to have him drag into me within the hour.

You'll need to know what you're doing before you set out; otherwise, it will be you on the beach. I should have laid claim to that fool's boat.... not even a thank you from him after two hours time spent saving his British ass. But I guess I'm just repaying the karma from when a very nice powerboater named Steven helped me out whilst in Guernsey last summer :-)

You also need to know that not all the advice you'll get is good, solid information.

My favorite example of that is the fellow who "taught me how to tie my spring lines" wth sip knots -- because they're easily adjustable!

I want my spring lines to stay in place. I don't want them slipping and loosening unexpectedly.

Needless to say I don't tie my boat up anywhere near his.

[Teknav]

I know how to make a hangman's noose, but I guess not many necktie parties at sea! What a bummer!

Mauritz
Going to behave now!

[thomm225]

Originally Posted by Teknav

I know how to make a hangman's noose, but I guess not many necktie parties at sea! What a bummer!

Mauritz
Going to behave now!

Read the book OuterBridge Reach. (based on a true story) Our hero came up with an idea using items available on the boat. He took a nautical approach I'd say. And guess what most of his problems were due to? ....... lack of experience.

Be warned though, it's an awesome book, but I refuse to ever read it again.

[thomm225]

See Blog from this thread on Cruisers & Sailing Forums about a family that did take the punge:

http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...est-93441.html

[Gelfling]

Originally Posted by boatman61

1/Sailing is like swimming... and advocates are like fathers... some just pick you up and chuck you in the deep end... 'Swim ya lil $^*?...'
Most start you at the shallow end...
Get some edification...

2/ This aint a 'New Life'... its a new life style... don't come in with great expectations of white beaches, palm trees and dusky maidens..
You'll still be carrying the old baggage... and, what this life style brings quite often is a tougher life.. and greater stresses.. both mental and physical... some folk bloom... for many the dream withers and dies...

They're right when they say 'Anyone can Sail'.... I've worked for a Charity that took/taught kids with varying disabilities from Downs Syndrome, paraplegic to blind kids... it is truly a sport for all...
Its 'MENTAL'...
And.... its a lot harder than the 9-5... in every way..

My 0.000000000.01 centimes...

+1. And I think " the dream withers and dies" because " don't worry about tomorrow, for today has enough worries of its own" applies even more so in sailing! I can think of no better sport/lifestyle to keep oneself in the present than sailing/cruising. It is almost as if the above `disabilities` would be beneficial to a sailing lifestyle.....to a certain degree and obviously not for soloing purposes.