Keeping a Mate Happy Aboard

[zeehag]

ok--you have addressed the mate, the fittings and the font----not yet the big boat or the kat......keep it coming---your attitudes are fun to read...........

[feelsgood]

I am afraid I am rather unsual as I HATE male pigs that think ladies are just for making the tea and food but I dont want to get into hot water on thie lovely site.
I beleive that ladies should be regarded as equals in as much as they are human beings with ideas even if we dont like all of them

[aj_the_first]

Originally Posted by zeehag

ok--you have addressed the mate, the fittings and the font----not yet the big boat or the kat......keep it coming---your attitudes are fun to read...........

I think you'll find the guys you want in colleges around the country.
Same with the men on this site: the women you seek, willing to live simply and experience adventure on a boat, are in college and living the adventure that they can afford in life. It is the years after college when the comfort levels start going up and people start to settle down and redefine "necessities" and thier priorities in life.
It is the young 20 somethings where I find lots of people wanting to have these sorts of mates and sailing adventure, but unable to because they are scraping through college making 6000 a year, barely able to keep clothes on thier back, much less buy even a 20 foot pocket cruiser. I've been dreaming and saving since I was 18, and now I am 28 and looking at the SoPac and three years off to cruise when I am 30, luckily with a wife who is thrilled at getting to go back to the simple college style living and sailing and being isolated on a boat for weeks at a time... they all sound thrilling to her. My first wife? not so much, so I made it a pre-requisite for any future mate I might have.

Of course for most of you the age difference will make it a lot tougher to convince these college kids to come along and be your mate...

You could say that youth is wasted on the young, but I say wealth is wasted on the ... grayer. (don't want to call anyone here "old", that should be reserved for the ones in retirement communities)

By the way Zeehag, if I wasn't married already, you'd have yourself a boy-toy on that Formosa Ketch in a heartbeat. I love cats... and older women.

[MoonlightShadow]

Wow, I have fallen in love with Zeehag's nature (as it has expressed itself on here), but life isn't perfect, and even there, an issue would exist between us. No way could I fall in love with your boat, as I would expect you to fall in love with mine.

How would you expect my little Moonlight Shadow to feel if I suddenly dumped her for a yankee clipper !?!

I am not a person to compromise.

I could write a very long life experience on here about this subject. But I won't because it wouldn't make anyone any wiser, as I have never fully understood my own life, let alone give advice to others.

So far, I have been married three times (really been in love only once - although thought I was many times). I became a single parent 15 years ago, and have brought up two kids on my own. Well, three really, as I inherited one from my Ex's previous marriage. They are all grown up now, and so I am setting sail, as has been my dream from a young age.

In my dream, my partner would be someone who loved me, and whom I loved, and shared the same aspirations with similar outlook. She would need to be someone who was relatively intelligent (vanity talking there), so we could communicate properly. Ideally, she would have some sail tickets (qualifications), as most of my experience is motor. I'd have no problem in cooking and cleaning. There would also need to be a sexual attraction between us. She might even exist. However...

That's just in my dreams. Now lets have a look at facts...

In the real world, there are 3.5 billion women. The woman of my dreams may exist, but odds are she only recurs at about 3 in a million.

Of that 3 million, lets say that only 50% are of sailing mind.

Then only 20% are in the right age bracket.

Then, probably only 1% of them are single and available.

Of that figure, only 5% live in my Country.

And of that 5%, say, odds are I will only ever meet 1% of them.

Well, if you've done the math, that's one person.

And she probably wouldn't like me.

Thus, in a similar vein to The Flying Dutchman, I am destined, to sail the seven seas, alone, forever.

But it's gonna be just great !!!!

No commitment to anything but, maybe, the weather. Solitude. Peace. Tranquility. Well, maybe not quite the last three, as I've gotta carry a large Coms suite to stay in touch with work. But, whatever will be, will be. An open mind, and a tall sail, and a GPS to steer her by. (Sorry Mr Masefield - I aint got the hang of steering by the stars yet).

[MoonlightShadow]

Probably help, if she had better maths then me, too.

[starfish62]

Originally Posted by feelsgood

From now on I am keeping a shot gun near by

Wow. I must admit that I have no idea what you are talking about.

[zeehag]

wow you guys are sooo sweet---
i have sought mate in match sites---failed. i have sought boat slaves in cruising forums---didnt work......i can find no one to adopt me who has money---that wont work...i donot really care about money--i gave all mine away---now i get a bigger boat!!!!!!.
i figger as long as there is definitely no one for me in this world, then i gotta do it myself and i hope isnt as difficult as i have been told i will have it with this formosa----and who sez one must give up ones boat for another ????? isnt a fair trade---boat for a wench------is it??? we all have boats for a reason...and the boat we each have is reflective of our selves.......i would never "make " a man give up his baby---boat----and i would hope same consideration would be given to me and mine---but i must sell my ericson--i cannot keep 2 boats!!!! not for meself...and there is a lot of thinking to do anytime a sailor has a yen for opposite gender......

[MoonlightShadow]

I dunno. Maybe I would give up my boat for a "wench" but I would really have to love her. I don't think my definition of love involves "keeping her happy" though. I try and keep the Police happy - and I certainly don't love em.

I think my definition is that I would, willingly, give my life to save hers.

In that context, I would give up my life's dreams if she needed me to do so. If she hated the sea, if it made her ill, and such.

But, equally, if she loved me too, then she would not ask me to give up my dream without there being an extremely good reason.

[zeehag]

Originally Posted by MoonlightShadow

I dunno. Maybe I would give up my boat for a "wench" but I would really have to love her. I don't think my definition of love involves "keeping her happy" though. I try and keep the Police happy - and I certainly don't love em.

I think my definition is that I would, willingly, give my life to save hers.

In that context, I would give up my life's dreams if she needed me to do so. If she hated the sea, if it made her ill, and such.

But, equally, if she loved me too, then she would not ask me to give up my dream without there being an extremely good reason.

there is sooo much to be when there is more than one individual involved---the teamwork is most incredibly important in a relationship---the biggest factor is getting along TOGETHER.......whatever and wherever it is the team is living and doing....theoretical stuff doesnt work--all we say is able to be negated by attraction and function of two individuals---as long as there is a team is alllll gooood----and you are soooo right---but is there a right or wrong in the facts of life? and that brings up a whole nother discussion!!!

[MoonlightShadow]

This is going to make me sound really selfish. But in the one true love relationship I had, I never ever had to work at it. It just worked all by itself.

I dont think she had to work at it either. We were together all the time. She was as at home in a cocktail dress, as she was mucking out the bilges in a boat.

That's probably the reason I am now single - no one else can ever compete.

[Sea Wolf]

Doesn't sound selfish to me, it sounds like you found your soul-mate. When you're on the same page, you don't even know you are 'working at it' because it's not work when you both share the same objectives.

Loree
Aboard SeaWolf
CruisersLife.com

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by MoonlightShadow

. But in the one true love relationship I had, I never ever had to work at it. It just worked all by itself.
....
That's probably the reason I am now single - no one else can ever compete.

Don't settle for second best. If another one comes along then fine. But if not then you are better by yourself at least then you are available!
If you are happy in yourself then the right person will arrive at some time. Nicolle did. I just criticized her for arriving late!

[MoonlightShadow]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

If you are happy in yourself then the right person will arrive at some time. Nicolle did. I just criticized her for arriving late!

Love it.

Yeah. I'm happy enough as I am. Not quite alone though. Houseful of kids here this morning - every bed and settee occupied when I got up. Down to four now.