First time charter with children

[Assynt21]

Hi everyone,

I’m a new member and joined to read up and hear any guidance for taking our three kids out on a boat charter for the first time this summer. They are 5-10 years old, love water and swimming and usually do summer in the Italian lakes where we might take a motorboat out some days, but no sailing yet.

I’m hastily looking at booking a day skipper course to refresh my own abilities, which were mainly from dinghy sailing and windsurfing. I’ve taken a 35ft boat out in a Greek flotilla (Ionian) a decade ago but busy with kids since.

I want to be really careful to make it gentle and not commit to any rough seas - so we don’t want a flotilla. If we do little sailing all week but the kids get used to being on a boat and do lots of snorkelling I will still be delighted. My wife will be able to assist but is the less confident of the two of us. She definitely wouldn’t enjoy it if she has to worry about kids crying whilst we are busy sheeting in! But she loved our experience sailing in Greece, it was one of our best holidays.

Taking all that together, I’ve found flights to Dalaman in Turkey and have been looking at Gocek. Too many boats, too many tourist day trippers, but for a reason - lots of small coves within a few miles of the marina, and milder summer wind there overall compared to Greece. So ‘at worst’ we could mainly stay at the marina overnight and do some light sailing and motoring during the day in a small radius of Gocek itself whilst getting familiar with the boat and showing the kids ‘the ropes’. I know that doesn’t sound like a sailing holiday but I would be delighted if we ended the week with the kids happy to do it again.
The downside is it might be noisy and hectic, a bit overpriced, and the weather may of course choose to do something different!

Any thoughts from mums and dads and anyone familiar with that bit of Turkish coast gratefully received!

[Foswick]

No familiarity with that area, but I do have some experience introducing young people to sailing. I didn't actually take my own son out until he was about 20. I tried to teach him to sail. Didn't go well because I had a lot of expectations and, as it turns out, yelling a lot didn't really help us realize those expectations.

I have had success with other people's kids, though, and can offer up a three small pieces of advice.

It sounds like you are already thinking about the first one. That is to never sail in a situation that creates pressure. Pressure can be because of difficult weather, a tight schedule, a crowded marina, bureaucratic stalemates, etc. Anything that limits options can push kids (in particular) closer to that tipping point where they decide this is no longer fun.

Try to avoid making the trip about sailing, but make it about doing fun stuff, and make sailing a fun way to do those fun things. I love sailing, but not everyone who comes out with me shares my love. But, some people like good food, others like swimming in remote coves, others just like the scenery, whale watching ... whatever floats their boat. Most non-sailors take an interest in sailing once they see what it can do for them, provided you do the third thing ...

The third thing is to give everyone a job to do. With kids, it is good to teach one of the older kids something simple - like tailing a winch. Then, tell them their job is to learn that job and teach it to the younger kids. When they've taught the younger kids, they get to learn a new job with more responsibility. This ensures that no one is "stuck" doing a job.

[Fore and Aft]

Assynt21 whatever you do don't forget to pack some games like UNO and Spot it. Our two kids once they were sick of sailing would often go below and play card games until we were close to the anchorage. We also have had some big sessions of Cluedo waiting for the tide to turn.
Learning to tie fenders on, operating anchor winch switch, starting the engine, even winching (just luff up a bit to make it easier), there's not much kids can't do, it just takes patience and some assistance.
Both our kids like sailing yachts and their own lasers, it's been a great sport for them.
To make things good for Mum you might have to do a few more pink jobs around the boat. Remember happy wife happy life and if you play it right you could end up owning a boat not just chartering.
Cheers

[GordMay]

I think that, both Foswick, & Fore and Aft, have given you some excellent advice, confirming much, of what, you already seem to know.

[Assynt21]

Thanks !

Foswick, you clearly speak from experience and that third point is golden! Thank you - I must remember to pack some short lengths of something to clip the kids in when on deck. I can imagine them really enjoying having small tasks to do and getting involved.

Fore and Aft, I will remember to get out of my head and plan something for everyone else. I will look into what anchors the charter board come with, as I think my wife would really appreciate some nights on anchor in a cove, but it’s sandy and easy to drag there I think.

Gordon, I hate to give the impression I already know something, as this is all first principles guesswork so far! Amazing how things have changed. We once visited the Bahamas and made friends with a student barman back home for the summer. He kindly took us to a small island in the exumas he had to sail to every day to feed some pigs. I see it is now a Tripadvisor attraction!

I might post about the destination in the relevant section for Turkey, but that’s a huge help thank you.

[Foswick]

Originally Posted by Assynt21

I can imagine them really enjoying having small tasks to do and getting involved.

Your oldest is probably old enough to work up to taking a turn at the helm. Some kids are afraid to do that, but for some, the goal of becoming skipper is highly motivating and fun.

I had an 8-yr old girl work her way through every job I could think to give her so she could be skipper, passing up her 14-yr old brother who definitely did not want that responsibility. Seeing her bark out orders (correctly, I might add) and having adults and her siblings jump into action ... a very proud moment for everyone.

Unfortunately, she decided that tacking was so fun that we had to do it every 30 seconds. So, we had to maroon her on an uncharted island. Some day we might send for her.

[DEAN2140]

"I want to be really careful to make it gentle and not commit to any rough seas - so we don’t want a flotilla."
Not sure I follow. Flotillas are led by an experienced employee/sailor with plenty of spare parts and the knowledge to fix stuff. They do not go out in rough weather. On the contrary, they are inclined to be very conservative because most of the fleet will consist of relative newbies.
To the point of the kids, most flotillas will have some kids and their parents. This will give your kids the chance to play with others and make life easier for you and your mate. Years ago, I was a hired skipper on a flotilla with Sun sails in the Gocek/Fethiye area and found it very pleasant. You might see what Sun sail offers.

[JPA Cate]

We have some friends from adventures a long while back, who went to Europe from Oz by plane, and sailed a previously owned boat back to Oz. They hired a nanny, so they had her to teach as well, but they were very satisfied with the experience: both of them could spend their time sailing the boat and found it fun. If you plan it into the budget it is one way to lighten her load, and you can set up whatever kind of deal with the nanny that seems to fit.

It is something I would never have thought of on my own, but it worked for our friends, and might be worth a chat with your good lady wife.

I agree with ForeAndAft that your helping with "pink" jobs can help a lot. Sadly, some skippers are sort of blind to work that the women often do -- or perhaps simply do not value it, and to their partner's need to have some fun, too.

Your wife can learn some more skills to increase her confidence. To be truly happy on a boat long term, she needs to have adequate skills to get everyone back to somewhere safe if anything bad happens to you. It is pretty important to most women to learn that much.

Ann

[Assynt21]

Thanks everyone,

Anne you are so right. I am still learning, as a typically absent-minded person who doesn’t notice mess as much (at least on land).

Dean it’s just that for the kids first trip it’s such an unknown quantity that if they end up wanting to stay in the same cove all day and snorkel, we’ll just do that.

And Foswick I’ll have to report back if our 8 yr old will progress to skipper ! Great advice thank you.

Right, I’d better start brushing up on the textbooks…