What Do Women Want?

[JPA Cate]

It really depends which cruising community you want to be part of. TanyaR has stated a goal of international, which will be relatively long term, consecutive, not 6 months on, 6 months off, for example. For that community, what I found was that everyone was very generous with each other, and I would give away my labor. I had a competent sewing machine aboard, and so, did some canvas work where it needed to be done. Jim has helped many, many people with battery charging, refrigeration, radio, autopilot, and engine problems, again, because it felt wrong to ask friends to pay for this. And, we had enough to get by on, so there wasn't a pressing need for more funds.

There was a guy who was a professional diesel mechanic, and who needed to supplement their cruising kitty. How he handled the issue was to offer consultation for free, and if he came to your boat with his tools, he charged about 75% of going rate for the US at the time. It was all up front, and well accepted.

There was a woman who offered haircuts, and she made a little money.

There was another woman who made rather nice gold jewelry on her boat.

One could sew for others, design boat cards, lots of occupations. But there aren't very many things you can do for the "middle income" long term international cruising yachties. They are mostly equipped one way or another to take care of themselves. Maybe you have to offer some intriguing luxury to tweak their interest. We new a boat called "Caraway" (the spice of life), who offered a dinner out on their boat, and a few people in the anchorage took them up on it. And there have been bakers along the way, as well. If someone baked excellent croissants, we might order a few, now, because our circumstances have improved, and they're a lot of work, but we would require word of their excellence beforehand. The international, middle of the road income wise, long term cruisers are frugal, they want a bang for their buck. I think it's a hard market because needs come before desires, and we've learned the difference.

There is also the issue that, once in a foreign country, your visa usually doesn't allow you to work for money. So, if you're in Tonga, and a cruiser, for example, and you offer haircuts on Sundays, you are violating two laws, taking work from Tongan haircutters, and working on the Sabbath. How important is it to honor their laws? Well, if you violate them, it leaves a "dirty wake" for your countrymen, you are not a "good" ambassador.

Ann

[zeehag]

international--is hard to work in some countries as you need a special paper for that. mexico is one of those--caught working sin papeles..deportation.
yes there are rats out here telling on folks who cheat.. damn. so if you wish to work in some nations, make sure you are following regulations to the letter.

as for me--i need err want a sewing machine to repair my stuff with.

[TanyaR]

Thank you everyone for your rich and varied responses. I've had so much fun reading them all. Yes, I posed a loaded question to make it fun but I'm also new to this community and eager to learn from you all.

[meatservo]

I will submit that there are few things more beautiful than beautiful women on a sailboat...


meatservo

[ScottBaker]

"What do women want?" - I think Thag, the very first caveman, and EVERY man on the planet since, has asked this very same question. Just when we think we know the answer, we are most certainly proven wrong.
This question is closely related to another I've heard women discussing...
If a man on a deserted island speaks, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Joking aside, I would think women on board want the same things they want on land. They want to feel safe, secure, comfortable, and appreciated. Throw in some fun and some endless fresh water tanks and you're off to a good start.
Congrats on your new adventure!
~Scott~

[lorrie]

Originally Posted by Sandero

I can't answer what a woman wants that would be different from what a man wants.... but I can say most men are more comfortable *roughing it* with less creature comforts sort of thing. For example... when it's late and we've been watching a movie and I am falling asleep... I would just go the our double in the aft cabin and not bother putting a sheet, top sheet and *make the bed*... Wifey however wants to sleep between clean sheets and so will make the bed even if she is going to see the entire movie.



Can you generalize that females don't like the sort of challenges then men seem to not think twice about? Who knows. I deal with one woman and have to honor and respect her comfort zone in exchange for her companionship. It's a fine deal.



Wifey is a bit... IMSHO overly cautious at times and sort of never lets her guard down and to do so would make her psychologically uncomfortable. If the wind pipes up she gets concerned as if a gale is coming... which is possible but not likely. This fear means we have to do an immediate study of weather forecasts... and take the proper measures if required... well in advance. I would sort of not do anything unless forecast conditions were going to be very nasty. I have to explain to her... repeatedly... that small craft advisory is not something to be concerned about in most cases and offers more wind and a more thrilling sail... not the type she likes by the way.



++++



As far as earning some coin out there... I think a floating health, fitness, therapy, yoga, etc. service is a super idea... toss in hair cuts... and other beauty things for lady sailors... and you have a decent little low overhead business which should do fine.



If you like to cook or bake and so forth you can offer meals on waves or something... like the proverbial *take away* food when we're too lazy or tired to cook. I can see that working in crowded anchorages which have VHF chatter... where you could put the word out and monitor the radio for clients. You could limited your meal/food offerings.., to things like fresh croissants, bread, cookiers... or soups and pot pies even.



Or a provisioning service if your anchored somewhere where there a lot of anchored cruisers...

It sounds like you have your gal figured out. Your a good man to make the effort! If all men could work this out, there would be less single sailors.



Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

[Dulcesuenos]

Going somewhere there's a cruisers net you could offer your Massage services, most places I've been to (Bahamas, caribbean EU) they were getting $20-30 for an hour. But you probably don't want to announce prices just that you are there to offer svcs to keep it on the DL. Philippines, Thailand etc an hour long massage is about $4. USD. So not so much.
My wife wants, to have fun, she wants a bigger galley, unlimited propane, fast dinghy, a loving respectful hubby and good weather windows and ultimately adventure and new experiences.

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[sailorcherry]

Sandero and other Gents:
Over the years I have heard many a man complain how their wife or GF doesn't want to go sailing, let alone cruising, with them. I am happy in my sailing partnership and many a fellow sailing man has voiced his envy (my guy respects me, my knowledge, opinion and limitations).

A) Sandero, excellent work on being aware of your wifes likes and dislikes. That is step #1.

B) Making arrangements/changes onboard to cater to her wants of a conservative voyage.

C) Okay, here's maybe one problem. Fixing this may just make a challenged boat into a happy one. Here you say:

" I would sort of not do anything unless forecast conditions were going to be very nasty."

Forecasts are just that. I don't know where you sail out of or to. Forecasts can be wrong. Her fear may be tied to past forecasts being totally off and wanting a calm, stable boat going through it.
I also noticed you love the thrill (hey, many do, right?!). Quite often in a relationship one is the gas pedal, one is the break.Ying and Yang, balance is bliss though, right?

If you feel like she is overreacting, then educate her. Find her a female instructor to teach her sailing. Dinghies are awesome, really awesome, my happy place sailing. Get her a dinghy and get her a female teacher. Get her armed and educated, for if she is letting fear of the unknown get the best of her it won't after that. If you want to continue to push the boat or go take battle with the sea and love it than that just may not be her bag, baby.

One last rant...a fewnyears ago at a really popular bay area yc, I overheard a happy man belt out " I try to tell the men - just the jib, that's the secret!". His answer regarding how he and his wife love sailing together in the SF Bay Area
- one of the toughest sailing grounds around, particularly in Summer.

After all that - hire this lovely lady to give your wife a massage - we Cabin Girls need it!


"Wifey is a bit... IMSHO overly cautious at times and sort of never lets her guard down and to do so would make her psychologically uncomfortable. If the wind pipes up she gets concerned as if a gale is coming... which is possible but not likely. This fear means we have to do an immediate study of weather forecasts... and take the proper measures if required... well in advance. I would sort of not do anything unless forecast conditions were going to be very nasty.
I have to explain to her... repeatedly... that small craft advisory is not something to be concerned about in most cases and offers more wind and a more thrilling sail... not the type she likes by the way."