|
|
12-12-2012, 15:38
|
#1771
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Calif
I met this very kinky chick. She wanted to make love in a bath of milk. As I prepareed to fill the tub I asked, "Pasteurized?"
She replied, "No. Just past my boobs. I can splash my eyes."
|
Ah the good ones keep coming round don't they? Listen to verse two.
Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
|
|
|
12-12-2012, 15:49
|
#1772
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ohio
Boat: Now boatless :-(
Posts: 11,580
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops
Ah the good ones keep coming round don't they? Listen to verse two.
Coops.
|
I tried watching Benny Hill on Netflix recently. He was way funnier when I was 12 - LOL.
His sketch comedy is dated but his songs are timeless.
|
|
|
12-12-2012, 16:10
|
#1773
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Agree totally, cannot watch his old shows now, very passe. Your joke just reminded me of him that's all.
What do you reckon this penguin says when he gets back on his feet then?
Penguin slips on the ice resulting in an adorable sound. [VIDEO]
Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
|
|
|
12-12-2012, 16:22
|
#1774
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops
Ah the good ones keep coming round don't they? Listen to verse two.
Coops.
|
Too bad! Can't watch here in the USA.
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
|
|
|
12-12-2012, 16:48
|
#1775
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Wow, you guys have some problems with this. Go to Youtube, "Benny Hill. Ernie The fastest Milkman in the west". Perhaps you can find one that the restrictions on broadcasting are not so severe.
Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
|
|
|
12-12-2012, 16:55
|
#1776
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Philippines in the winters
Boat: It’s in French Polynesia now
Posts: 11,368
|
Re: The Joke Thread
__________________
Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend, but the Kisses of the Enemy are Deceitful! ........
The measure of a man is how he navigates to a proper shore in the midst of a storm!
|
|
|
12-12-2012, 19:12
|
#1777
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Caribbean live aboard
Boat: Camper & Nicholson58 Ketch - ROXY Traverse City, Michigan No.668283
Posts: 6,372
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lajos
I did 6 months in Japan, teaching English... They have allot of trouble with the "L" and "R" pronunciation, I had 2 phrases that would make them practice: "in my car, I drive on the Road but if I carry a box and drop it, I drop a Load"... Or; "I have a red pen and I have Led in my pencil"..... For some reason this would crack up the other teachers....
|
I had a Chinese professor who taught machine design. It took a while to understand that a foubahrink was a "four bar link" and paryerr rines were Lines equidistant apart.
|
|
|
12-12-2012, 20:35
|
#1778
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ohio
Boat: Now boatless :-(
Posts: 11,580
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coops
|
A dork penguin - very good!
|
|
|
12-12-2012, 21:04
|
#1779
|
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern NSW.Australia
Boat: Sunmaid 20, John Welsford Navigator
Posts: 9,549
|
Re: The Joke Thread
That is so funny Delmarrey, you can't see mine and i can't see yours, so that is one game off the table then.
Coops.
__________________
When somebody told me that I was delusional, I almost fell off of my unicorn.
|
|
|
13-12-2012, 12:45
|
#1780
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: Still have the 33yo Jon boat. But now a CATAMARAN. Nice little 18' Bay Cat.
Posts: 7,086
|
Re: The Joke Thread
With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.
Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed
by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.
__________________
Who knows what is next.
|
|
|
13-12-2012, 14:34
|
#1781
|
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Upper right-hand corner of Iowa
Boat: Newport 30 MK III
Posts: 58
|
Re: The Joke Thread
With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.
Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine.
Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.
|
|
|
13-12-2012, 18:22
|
#1782
|
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern NSW Australia
Boat: Custom
Posts: 749
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Me thinks Therapy and Guy from Iowa are subscribed to the same "joke of the day" email list :-))
Nice joke though
__________________
James
"I get knocked down but I get up again" eventually.
|
|
|
13-12-2012, 19:03
|
#1783
|
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Currently on the HARD in Guaymas Mexico and staying in Phoenix, AZ
Boat: Columbia 45
Posts: 302
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Well, if you figure out what to do with the cab, I got a city bus that needs to go away....
|
|
|
14-12-2012, 07:36
|
#1784
|
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: On our boat
Boat: Island Packet 445
Posts: 152
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Donald & Daisy
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.
The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said, "No."
Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.
"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.
So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.
"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.
The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"
"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"
You smiled ...... I saw you!!.......ok...now you can't wait to send it someone else
who needs a smile......
|
|
|
14-12-2012, 08:18
|
#1785
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: North to Seattle
Boat: Cooper 416
Posts: 279
|
Re: The Joke Thread
Question: Is sex Work?
A U.S.Marine Colonel was about to start the morning
briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
...He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.
The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
God Bless the enlisted man
|
|
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
Advertise Here
Recent Discussions |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Vendor Spotlight |
|
|
|
|
|