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**GordMay** · 07-09-2021, 04:02

I think I just disproved gravity!
This research is going to have Issac Newton floating in his grave.

Gravity is just a myth.
We all know it's the liberal mainstream media, keeping us down.

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe, but if you remove it, you get ...
Gravy.

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting ...
"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes, saying: "It's about time"

**JoeRobertJr** · 07-09-2021, 06:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldManMirage

Funny thing is - it's as good an explanation as any, because we have not actually figured out why there is gravity. But I'm glad its a constant !

Constant?! Oh, no, no. It is definitely increasing as I age.

**carstenb** · 07-09-2021, 06:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeRobertJr

Constant?! Oh, no, no. It is definitely increasing as I age.

Every woman can attest to this as their mammalia glands turn downwards and become droopers indtead of buglers

MicHughV · 07-09-2021, 08:06

Every woman can attest to this as their mammalia glands turn downwards and become droopers indtead of buglers

it's gravity...all these years I've been thinking they are just loosing air...and getting deflated....

VWKDF · 07-09-2021, 09:20

jeanathon · 07-09-2021, 15:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by VWKDF

Love it.

**GordMay** · 08-09-2021, 03:03

**GordMay** · 08-09-2021, 05:00

**GordMay** · 08-09-2021, 05:01

The theme of my company’s team building retreat this year was mindfulness. They asked each one of us to give three examples of an open minded person. They said there were no wrong answers but ...
If your answer was President JFK, author Ernest Hemingway, and singer Kurt Cobain ... it got you a meeting with HR.

**GordMay** · 08-09-2021, 05:02

When it comes to ghosts, and the afterlife, I like to think I'm open minded: maybe there something in it, maybe there isn't.

Actually, I recently attended a seance. The psychic, who ran it, told us she was delighted with the way her business was going. Absolutely booked up solid.
So, of course, I punched her in the face.

Like I said. When it comes to the paranormal, I like to strike a happy medium.

**GordMay** · 08-09-2021, 05:12

A guy goes for a drive, and his car stalls, right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on.

He walks in, and notices that the party is somewhat divided.

There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom, and the people queued up for drinks, etc.

Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table, and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started.

They agree, but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.

A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.

With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward, and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, “Thank you.”

As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself ...

“Thank goodness for that delivery, because that punch line sure was weak.”