The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[carlosproa]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Note the postscript, at the bottom.

[GordMay]

I’ve decided I’m dressing in a costume for Christmas.
I’m going to wear a fleece jacket, show off pictures of kids, and carry a GPS navigation unit.
I’m going as ...
FLEECE NAVI-DAD

I received an email, about an online course, on Map Reading & Navigation.
They say it's so good, you'll be able to read maps backwards.
But I soon realized, it was just spam.

In medieval times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse, when riding at night.
This is the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.

The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly.
The further north you go, the more southern it gets.

[Mirage35]

Originally Posted by GordMay

I received an email, about an online course, on Map Reading & Navigation.
They say it's so good, you'll be able to read maps backwards.
But I soon realized, it was just spam.

.

OUCH! Gord, that one hurt!

[OldManMirage]

Originally Posted by GordMay

The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly.
The further north you go, the more southern it gets.

This is so true ! As a native I can testify !!

[GordMay]

Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey, as seen from the the International Space Station.
They sent a short message, along with the photograph:
"Houston, you have a problem."

***

In 1959, the Florida panhandle was hit with a devastating hurricane. Many of the buildings and homes in Destin were damaged.
The "Gulfarium", which had opened a few years earlier, was largely undamaged.
Their diesel generators were meant for the numerous fish and marine mammals, but could easily handle a larger load.
So a tent city was set up, in their parking lot, for displaced families.
A fish supplier, in Pensacola, was asked to increase shipments, to feed, not only the marine life, in the building, but the hundreds of people, in the parking lot.
For all in tents, and porpoises, it worked pretty well.

[GordMay]

A quick weather quiz:

Q: What happens to a sailboat, in a category 5 hurricane?
A: Mast destruction.

Q: What do you get, if you a cross a card game, with a hurricane?
A: A bridge, over troubled water.

Q: What happened when a hurricane hit Alabama [pick your least favorite local]?
A: It caused about 10 million dollars worth of improvements.

Q: What's Irish, sits outside, and rarely survives a Florida hurricane
A: Paddy O' Furniture.

Q: What's one thing, you need to watch out for, during a Jewish hurricane?
A: The flying de-bris.

[GordMay]

[jeanathon]

Gord,

I am without words.

[Montanan]

The Most Ethnically-Diverse Joke Ever Told

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Apache, an Argentinean, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Cherokee, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Cree, a Croat, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dakota, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutch, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Englishman, an Equatoguinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, an extraterrestrial, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadan, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, an Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kosovar, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Lakota, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monegasque, a Mongolian, a Montenegrin, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Myanmarese, a Namibian, a Navajo, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Ni-Vanuatu, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Sammarinese, a Samoan, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scot, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tadzhik, a Taiwanese, a Tanzanian, a Tobagonian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Turkmen, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, an Uruguayan, an Uzbek, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemeni, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean walk into a restaurant.

The maitre d' apologizes, "I'm so sorry, but I can't let you in without a Thai."

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[Montanan]

Feeling my age.

[mlydon]

Wrong, very wrong