The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Montanan]

Dark, very dark.

[Montanan]

[VWKDF]

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The bartender says "What a strange pet, what's his name?"
"Tiny." the man replies.
"What an odd name, why do you call him tiny?"
"Because he's my newt."

[dfelsent]

Originally Posted by VWKDF

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The bartender says "What a strange pet, what's his name?"
"Tiny." the man replies.
"What an odd name, why do you call him tiny?"
"Because he's my newt."

Ouch.

[Stingo]

Originally Posted by carlosproa

Attachment 279861

Nope, that can't be a Hawaiian Pizza because there's no pineapple on it

[Jamme]

[Jamme]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[chrisr]

A man has just bought an E-type Jaguar convertible and has taken it for a spin. He's on the motorway, empty as far as the eye can see, cruising at 70mph & enjoying the wind in his hair & the silken purr of the 3.8l straight six. He stretches out to turn the radio on when he looks in the rear view mirror and sees this three legged chicken behind him. He looks again, and as he does so the chicken puts its right wing out & overtakes him doing 90mph or more! “Bugger me!” he thinks and drops a cog & floors it. Within seconds both the E-type & the chicken are doing 130mph+ & the chicken is still accelerating. As they approach a turn off the chicken’s left wing indicates & it's up the slip road, round the roundabout & off into the country lanes. The bloke in the Jag follows it, screaming down narrow lanes at insane speeds when suddenly the chicken indicates again & disappears through a gate into a farmyard. The bloke follows, screeches to a halt in a cloud of dust and sees… Nothing. He climbs out of the car & looks around only to see a farmer leaning against the gate chewing an ear of corn. “I say” he says “that was EXTRAORDINARY!! I've never seen anything like it in my life! Wha,.. What was it, where did it go?“ “Arrh” says the farmer “that be one o’ my special chickens. I breeds ’em you see, special like.“

“But why? “says the bloke. “Well, it's quite simple" says the farmer. “I likes a leg o’ chicken. My wife, she likes a leg o’ chicken and my son, he likes a leg o' chicken too. So I bred ’em special with three legs so as we could all’ ave one you see.”

“Well that's absolutely extraordinary” says the bloke “What do they taste like?”

“I dunno” says the farmer “I've never caught one”…

cheers,

[Montanan]

[Montanan]

[Montanan]

Price reduced for quick sale:

[Montanan]

I am old enough to know better but I don't let that get in the way when it comes to making poor decisions.

[Bullshooter]

Archie and Edith!

Damn, I must be old.