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Ocean Girl · 19-05-2010, 18:34

Hummingway, I love it! Still at work but stuck behind a computer waiting for the IT guy to call (yuk!). Enjoying the posts, oops there is the IT guy..see ya
Cheers,
E

osirissail · 20-05-2010, 05:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by bvimatelot

. . . Surely the idea is to get the boat that you want and are happy and confident in . Then the partner will eventually fall into place, No? If he/she doesnt like the set up then that eliminates him/her. . . .Tony

- - Your priorities change as the years roll by under your keel. Single-handers are a breed unto themselves. They have a confident nature and are content/happy with their own company. They love the freedom of coming and going when the mood stirs them without having to deal with "baggage." But youth is fleeting and old age inevitable.
- - If you are an active actual single-handing cruiser who sails from country to another country rather than a static -never leave the harbor live-aboard- then you will be socializing and interacting with some of the most unique and beautiful couples who are also cruising the seas and oceans. Unless you are so totally self-aborbed and anti-social you will start to appreciate that a real, positive and fulfilling relationship with a partner onboard is actually obtainable. However, the supply of such partners is microscopic in comparison to the bevy of one-nighters and weekend party partners. Different strokes for different folks.
- - Since this thread is about finding a soul-mate and not a short-term playmate, then suggestions on how to actually find one and "keep" one are relevant.
- - Start a different thread if you are trolling for a playmate or just are not interested in "seeking a soul mate."
- - It takes work and a willingness to accommodate, cooperate, and appreciate the needs and desires of another person if you are seriously seeking somebody to share the rest of your life (and vice versa). And that requires a major re-adjustment in the mental processes of a die-hard single-hander. And it starts, as it does with most all the other animals in this world, with preparing a "nest" that is attractive and desirable to a prospective mate. Soul-mates don't "fall" into your lap very often if ever - nobody gets out of this life alive, so you have to do some work if you want to find a soul-mate before your soul meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

bvimatelot · 20-05-2010, 06:58

Quote:

.
- - Start a different thread if you are trolling for a playmate ...

My dear chap!! Surely that can't have been aimed at someone who has been married, once, to the same lovely girl for 34 years and who is lucky enough to sail 15 odd thousand miles a year (a few single-handed when the insurance company allows it)?

I really must learn to operate these smiley thingeys.......Tony

Ocean Girl · 20-05-2010, 07:17

bvimatelot, did ya post a story about your name? bvi? mate? lot? or b? vima? love the bvi's? see how we get it wrong when we guess (especially if you are a bit sleepy from working late

).

By the by, I think the posts about creating a space for your mate is a fantastic one. Here is my paltry attempt (hopefully you see a picture of two travel mugs), don't laugh! I decided to work on this area a bit more seriously but not sure what that is yet.
E

David_Old_Jersey · 20-05-2010, 07:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

By the by, I think the posts about creating a space for your mate is a fantastic one. Here is my paltry attempt (hopefully you see a picture of two travel mugs), don't laugh! I decided to work on this area a bit more seriously but not sure what that is yet.
E

Please please start a dedicated thread

bvimatelot · 20-05-2010, 07:27

bvimatelot: bvi, 'cos that's where I live and matelot (you dont pronounce the last t) is French for sailor.

Well done on the photos - I'm still working on that one and, yes, I thought the post was, as usual, from him, pretty good!! (though I wasnt quite so happy about the implied suggestion that I was trolling for females....!!!) Tony

Ocean Girl · 20-05-2010, 07:55

Man oh man David...I just don't know where you are going with that and not sure if I wanna know. My brain wants to believe you are innocently refering about a good thread but then again..it is DOJ and he loves to take me where no man has gone before...that was a play on space, as in outter space! Be good David, awe heck I am just digging deeper and deeper..
Lord you must be a hoot offshore, and a scourge to your momma growing up...
Erika

PS
Tony, that is not how I read it, He was just pointing out the original path of this thread (finding our soul mate) you are clearly no troll. have fun with the boat preps

osirissail · 20-05-2010, 08:19

bvimatelot - the quoted lines from your post - without any further information about whether you are single or a couple - suggests the typical male single-hander mindset of only I exist and anybody else on the boat does not have to be considered and will just appear by magic.
- - For sure, if you have been married for 34 years to the same woman while living all that time on a cruising boat - then - you logically must have made considerable efforts to accommodate, cooperate, and appreciate your partner over the years. And you started at a very young age and grew together - probably - to a perception that now you both are parts of each other more times than not.
- - That puts you squarely in the group of cruiser couples that single-handers seeking a soul mate envy and would like to join.
- - But 34 years ago the culture and attitudes of males and females was drastically different from now in 2010. Very few "modern women" can adjust to the "down-sizing" and deprivation of "modern conveniences" in the average cruising sailboat. I have seen and been friends with many cruising couples who after 5 or 10 years have to give up the lifestyle as the wife suddenly announces to their mate "Okay, now you have lived your dream, we are going back to living on land."
- - After 34 years with your mate living on a cruising sailboat I would suggest you "wash and kiss" her feet frequently as you have someone who is statistically rarer than hen's teeth. That is quite an accomplishment.

bvimatelot · 20-05-2010, 08:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by osirissail

bvimatelot - the quoted lines from your post - without any further information about whether you are single or a couple - suggests the typical male single-hander mindset of only I exist and anybody else on the boat does not have to be considered and will just appear by magic.
- - For sure, if you have been married for 34 years to the same woman while living all that time on a cruising boat - then - you logically must have made considerable efforts to accommodate, cooperate, and appreciate your partner over the years. And you started at a very young age and grew together - probably - to a perception that now you both are parts of each other more times than not.
- - That puts you squarely in the group of cruiser couples that single-handers seeking a soul mate envy and would like to join.
- - But 34 years ago the culture and attitudes of males and females was drastically different from now in 2010. Very few "modern women" can adjust to the "down-sizing" and deprivation of "modern conveniences" in the average cruising sailboat. I have seen and been friends with many cruising couples who after 5 or 10 years have to give up the lifestyle as the wife suddenly announces to their mate "Okay, now you have lived your dream, we are going back to living on land."
- - After 34 years with your mate living on a cruising sailboat I would suggest you "wash and kiss" her feet frequently as you have someone who is statistically rarer than hen's teeth. That is quite an accomplishment.

Ah well.....that's the trouble with forums (fora?) I suppose.

I wish we lived on a boat but we never have. My wife is a good sailor (and cook) but she suffers the same as Admiral Lord Nelson by being horribly ill for the first 3 days - so, although she will come along, she doesnt really enjoy it and I would never force her of course.

I often think (whimsically) that the reason I've been able to stay married for so long is due to the fact that I have hardly ever been at home!!. A 20 year RN career including submarine time and now yacht delivering on a pretty much world-wide basis, has made me miss out on a lot of the joys of connubial bliss. My wife however, knew what she was getting herself into by marrying a naval officer. You are so right when you say attitudes have changed!!!!

David_Old_Jersey · 20-05-2010, 12:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

Man oh man David...I just don't know where you are going with that and not sure if I wanna know.

Meant well

...........just thought that a thread by a female looking for ideas to fit out a vessel to suit a fella (rather than vice verce) might

attract some entertaining thoughts...........

Your pic made me smile though, as coincidently I have also recently been doing some mug holding modifications onboard. Decided I didn't really need dedicated storage (up to 90 degrees)..............for 8 mugs. Nor likely to ever have the guests onboard to use them

...........so am adopting the approach I use onshore to minimise washing up. Minimal crockery

FxdGrMind · 20-05-2010, 12:49

Quote: "8 mugs"

What no "Harem"???

I'll give ya 8's an awful lot!

Christian Van H · 20-05-2010, 14:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

Here is my paltry attempt (hopefully you see a picture of two travel mugs), don't laugh! I decided to work on this area a bit more seriously but not sure what that is yet.
E

What am I MISSING? I see a banana hammock and two coffee cups...

Ocean Girl · 21-05-2010, 07:53

Look closer...

just kidding. IF DOJ is serious and would like to hear about how a sailor gal gets her boat ready for her soul mate then I will oblige... hope you don't mind it here though, I just don't see an entire thread about this and the other sailor females may want to contribute, especially the ones who are actually cruising..

~Some thing I have done to get ready for my Soul Mate~
1) my mugs, you saw the picture already. It was a symbol of things to come, coffee and tea in the cockpit, breakfast while at anchor, I thought it was kinda cool idea and I smile when I look at em.
2) This one is a work in progress. I know he will just love it and drop to his knees for bestowing such a prize...I have developed an extensive boat projects list for him

Off to work, see ya
Erika