Apparently I am losing my people skills.

[Chotu]

OK. Yes I know. There will be some jokes. I don’t have any to begin with. Right? Lol

but today I pissed off my Rigger. And I’m not exactly sure how it happened.

I was in the middle of very intense work. I have had to put in 10 and 14 hour days this week. And not on the boat. This is office work while I am here at the boat. it’s 10 PM now and I’m just wrapping up after starting at 8:30 AM. no breaks.

in the middle of all my hectic stuff he knocks and I have to open up and answer some questions and things like that. I don’t have my mind quite on what he is talking about because I am really busy. My phone is exploding

at the end we get to a point where something needs to be purchased.

he asked me for the money to purchase it. It’s like $300. It’s a VHF antenna and mount. It sounds very expensive but it’s like the way he wants to do it or something.

i’m good with that because I am very busy and it sounds like he has a good plan worked out. so I say OK. Sounds good. Let’s go with that.

so I have already wired him $21,000+ for parts.

He has purchased a roller Furler and some lines. And I think maybe a new forestay. I think. I have only seen the roller Furler and a spool of line.

I have seen no accounting of what has gone on with the purchasing other than the Furler. And the only reason I knew about the furler is because we hammered the price. So I know what it cost. It was like $6000 and change.

so I was really busy and I was like just take the $300 out of the $15,000. Because that’s what was left after the Furler. 15,000.

and he’s like no that money is already accounted for. But he didn’t actually order anything with it yet. So I’m thinking you can use that until we get to a point where we are running low.

and he got really mad. I saw his face turn red.

and he raised his voice. But I was holding my ground that we should use that money and that I need an accounting of the spending. to know what we have purchased and where I stand, financially.

and he got really mad and yelled fine and walked away.

I really don’t know where I went wrong.

Any ideas?

I think this is the part of Boat building that I hate the most. Dealing with other people. In the marine industry. It’s so stressful. It nearly makes me sick to my stomach. There are problems everywhere you go. It’s hard to work through them.

and I am well aware of the fact that if you are having problems everywhere you go it’s not them it’s you. But I don’t know how to be fake and put on that sailor act that all the people around the water use. you can see them filling up every bar in the area. They are all dressed the same. And they all talk the same. They are often drunk, very gregarious and outgoing. And that’s what makes people like you in the marina and sailing world apparently. I don’t know how to fake that.

i’m in this for the sailing. For the boat. For the water. Not for the atmosphere or whatever people do on land. To make it look like they are part of a sailing social group.

I am plenty likable in every other world. I don’t have any trouble in life with that. but not this one I guess.

I am already forking over tens of thousands of dollars but I don’t know what else to do to get someone to like me.

I can see the guy is very annoyed with me. And doesn’t really enjoy working with me. Or maybe it’s not me? Maybe it’s just the project. Either way it doesn’t seem like he’s having a good time with it.

His will is there to do a good job but I feel like I am in the way. Like he doesn’t like me or he doesn’t like the project or doesn’t like the boat or something.

I really can’t afford to have this go wrong.

Not sure how to work properly with him. There are things I need to ask for such as knowing where all my money went. I feel like that’s not wrong. But maybe it was?