The Dream Has Died

[CREX]

Lots of great stories and experiences so I'll just tell you what I've done and doing being you asked.

Burned out too. Liveaboard on my sailboat, 100 ton captain multiple charter boats, deliveries, teaching sailing/all boat handling, just burned out.

Met my true love but was burnt out. She loved Dauntless but change was needed. Got RV and did work camping. Travelled alot thru the country and settled NM. Unbelievable right? Bought a C-27 in slip and picked up a Venture of Newport to restore, year's ago.

But mostly I got my fix by going thru various motorcycles. Like sailing and powerboating combined. Settled on our 2009 Victory Vision 10th anniversary. Google it up, only 100 built. "SweeDee". Luxury and handles like a small bike. 900lbs. Gets me my wind and angles, lot's of twistie open roads and fresh air out here.

Dee passed 1.5 year's ago and I need a knee. So after much thinking of who I am again and alone I'm starting to restore that Venture, but not loving it so much but I have SweeDee to ease my stresses and give pure pleasure. Next I'll go to a pick up truck and put SweeDee in bed and trailer my Venture.
All on a low budget.

Good luck brother and burn out is ok, just don't let it rule you. Your love and passions always return when allowed.
59 in a couple weeks and 40+ more years to go. I work out. LoL...

[DocHolliday]

I haven't yet read all the responses, but if I remember correctly, you might be able to sail to Switzerland....depending upon the width of your boat...

[bumpman]

This thread certainly has hit a chord with us older folk. You are not alone! Just look at any harbor and ask yourself about how many hours all those boats spent cruising during this past summer - why on a perfect sailing weekend so many boats sat at mooring or in the slip. And what about all the boats that don't show up next Spring? So a couple of decades ago I sold the big boat, bought a small one and started a new type of sailing adventure. 1/10 the fuss and 1/50 the cost, and easy to build, use, maintain, repair, and sell if needed. Every new bay, little cove and harbor can be a new adventure. And small boats have a friendly, welcoming, laid-back community. And when the urge comes to sail some new exotic place, I charter with friends and family in even larger boats than what I've owned.

[hzcruiser]

Given all the great responses here I trust you'll overcome this "little mid-life crisis" very soon.

[weavis]

I used to rebuild old cars from the ground up. Id make them beautiful. Then I would drive them and the thrill was not there. Figured out the joy was in the restoration.

Ive had a few boats. Found out Im really a coastal, near country sailing sort of sailor.. NO interest in traversing oceans. 200 mile trips suit me.

Finally realised I love anchoring out or being dockside tinkering around the boat, taking coffee and going for day sails when it suited me. I like sleeping on the boat... I like the smell of the sea, I like the water life. Where I live in Sevilla there is a river to the sea... 90 miles. I Love going on the river..

Find what you love and do it. No rules...

[Jolly Roger]

I’ve read all the responses to this thread because I’m just coming to the end of an eight year restore and rebuild of my old 45 footer. I’ve had moments of despondency, especially on some of the bigger projects, which not many 50 year olds would even undertake, let alone finish. I took breaks, then just cracked on. I had to, there's no much point having a un-sailable sailboat.
I’m also old enough to be the OP’s father, (what was the maiden name of your mother again?), and I don’t know what all the moaning is about. I can’t remember turning 50, it’s too long ago.
“If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” is a good maxim for owning a boat and if you've got two, who's fault is that? So is, “Be careful what you wish for”. If you’re knocking-on 50 or 60 you should be mature enough to estimate the consequences of either of these.
There’s some sage advice here, but sometimes this forum sounds like a “ask Abby” column.
By the way, Switzerland is no different from any other mountainous area, except it’s full of Swiss people.
Just get on with it mate, and call back when you've sorted it!

[sailstoo]

Priories change as one ages. I've sailed since I was 12 and will never give it up but now am looking at 80 just a few years away. While I still enjoy racing our Sonar the (not so big - 34') cruiser always seems to have some maintenance issue that's gonna give me a sore back and sore knees. Or it's gonna cost me $$$. Trawlers are looking better every day.

[montenido]

There have been some great responses so far. Apparently, the OP is in a fairly common situation. I've had 5 large boats, 3 sail, and 2 power. I spent a couple years getting my last sailboat (CSY 44) ready to cruise the world. Then, I got stuck in the Sea of Cortez, in what is called the "La Paz Vortex". So many cruisers get waylaid in the Sea, and they just choose to cruise that area, and forego the rest of the world.

Even though I would love to see the rest of the world by boat, mine is staying in La Paz for the foreseeable future. I'm good with that.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but perhaps some professional counseling might help you get your priorities in order. It wouldn't mean you are crazy, just that you might use some guidance.

Anyway, this is a great thread, and I thank you for starting it. Good luck in the future, and please let us know how things turn out.

Cheers, Bill

[Jolly Roger]

I’ve no wish to snatch this thread, but this trawler idea may be of interest in another five years, when I’m eighty.
Surely though, there must be no lack of maintenance problems on a twin engined Grand Banks? It’s still a boat, it needs antifouling, has complicated instrumentation, plenty of wood to varnish, Biminis to repair, heads to keep working, etcetera.
And what about the cost of fuel, getting from A to B? How much would it cost to go 1800 miles to Bermuda, (which is gorgeous), and back from Florida? We reckon about $300.00 or so, depending on winds.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by Jolly Roger

I’ve no wish to snatch this thread, but this trawler idea may be of interest in another five years, when I’m eighty.
Surely though, there must be no lack of maintenance problems on a twin engined Grand Banks? It’s still a boat, it needs antifouling, has complicated instrumentation, plenty of wood to varnish, Biminis to repair, heads to keep working, etcetera.
And what about the cost of fuel, getting from A to B? How much would it cost to go 1800 miles to Bermuda, (which is gorgeous), and back from Florida? We reckon about $300.00 or so, depending on winds.

I've never owned a large power boat, but I would imagine the amount of maintenance is about the same if not more than a cruising sailboat, and the money expenditures certainly no less with larger, often multiple engines & related gear. I only assume this because I find the time & money I spend servicing my rig to be rather low (on avg). Less work operating a power boat when underway to be sure, but with the increasing prevalence of powered furlers and/or winches, even many larger sailboats have become much easier to operate under sail.

[Jolly Roger]

The same applies to an RV.
My daughter has just bought the largest, really fancy RV, (used, but in tip-top condition—so she was told). First they had to find a place to berth it, which costs more than my 50 foot boat. It uses an astronomical amount of fuel to go from A to B, so I suggested they might rig a square sail for down wind travel. It is about as difficult to drive in traffic as any sailboat. The generator broke, so they can’t use the AC at the moment, except on shore power. The holding tank needs emptying frequently, which needs a shore pump out. I actually foresee it costing as much in time and maintenance as my boat. And they can’t go to Bermuda in it either.

[Polux]

You have some valid points there and it all depends on what you like and want to do. A sailing boat is not the best tool to see the world or any country. It is limited to shores, ports and the places where you can anchor or leave it on marinas.

On many cases a marina is as expensive as a room or even a small apartment and you will have to leave the boat on a marina (for safety) while you rent a car and tour the land having to rent rooms too, if you want to go far on the interior. All that is expensive.

Cruising is mostly about enjoying shores anchorages, ports and sailing. If you have not pleasure in sailing anymore what is the point of having a boat?

Regarding touring with a RV I guess that can be the most economic way but many places are forbidden to RV and in those countries you will have to have it on RV parks.

For the ones that like as much driving a car as sailing, a RV is not a nice option: no fun to drive. If the pleasure of driving is important then it will make sense having a car or motorcycle and spend the extra money it costs a RV in cheap rooms and apartments all along the road. More interesting also to know the country since a room or an apartment will allow you an easier communication with people.

It is up to you. Only you know what you like and what you want to do. A mistake will cost you a lot, so, think well about it.

[Morequestions]

Originally Posted by ponderings

For 25 years now, I've had some sailboat or another. They've been getting bigger and bigger.

I built my nearly finished, most recent boat myself. It's one of the top boats of its kind in the world. Not joking. It's a performance boat.

I recently also bought a boat to flip. I haven't been out in years because it takes years to build a boat. I went out with the boat I bought to flip and it just wasn't fun. Building the boat has turned me off on nearly all manual labor. It used to be fun to create things by building them for me. After building a boat, I no longer feel enjoyment or satisfaction from doing any repair work, modifications or systems on boats. Or on land.

I didn't really enjoy sailing on this trip on the boat I bought to flip. I didn't feel like I wanted to battle bad weather, rough seas and all the things to repair and that will break taking a boat around the world to see things. I was thinking I want to see Switzerland too. Can't sail there.

I'm burnt out.

However, I'm comfortable at the dock with the boat I bought to flip. It's finished inside and roomy. Feels like a house. The wife wants to keep the new boat I built and spend the time finishing the inside. Thousands of hours (and dollars) to get it all nice inside. She doesn't like the boat I'm flipping to be ours. She has no experience on boats and prefers (of course) the super nice new boat. At the same time, I realized that what I have always liked about boats was the solitude. It's very private. You're on your own without annoying neighbors. Feels great to me. Plus, you can move it if you don't like your surroundings.

I'm feeling comfortable on the boat I bought to flip. I don't want to build out anything. Just fix the occasional pump here or there that needs fixing or things like that. But the wife wants to have the new boat finished.

In any case, I have come to a huge realization.

The dream of sailing a boat to various countries around the world and traveling has died for me. It's just too hard. I'm not up for the challenge, given all the other challenges in life. I'm also barely up for the challenge of building out the interior of the new boat I built. I'm thinking of (GASP!!) converting the new boat I built to be a highly efficient powerboat with all the conveniences. Generator, air conditioning and heat, unlimited hot water, watermaker etc.

I'm starting to see boats as less of a traveling adventure and handyman thing and as more of a (GASP AGAIN!!) condo I can put wherever I want, moving it with the seasons for maximum comfort.

Now, I can certainly take the seamanship I've learned over all these decades and apply it to this high performance powerboat condo I'm thinking of. I can also say this boat I built is very capable of world cruising. But, -I'M- not capable of world cruising anymore. I just don't have it in me. I'm tired. I'm done. Boats are starting to bore me. Sailing is boring me.

Has anyone here ever come to this point after decades of doing the same thing? Do you ever dream of living in the mountains? Of seeing all the stuff we can't see because we're on boats? Of driving around to all sorts of towns and natural wonders that we can't see because we're always in a harbor, in an anchorage, in the water and by the beach?

I'm looking for any comments at all that might help me make sense of this sudden loss of the dream. For me, it's over. I want to see the world but I don't want to spend extra decades fighting to do it. Fighting to get a boat ready (never seems to be), fighting the weather and elements and fighting the fact that a lot of things are made poorly and break quickly in the marine world.

Time and time again we hear "just go now, life is too short." Well, life IS too short. Too short to spend decades getting to destinations I can get to in hours by plane or at least in days by RV.

I think I'd like to RV around the world so I can actually see it, which gives some of the same opportunities for the solitude, but not nearly in the same dosage of solitude a boat provides.

Is this just because I'm getting older? I'm approaching 50.

I've been working to fix up a house not quite 2 years now. It's getting me down, worn out depressed I'm tired of it.I'm 63. So I have a inkling how you feel but you do have a much bigger project then I do. I have no choice but to finish it now but I did learn somethings about myself and hopefully will never take on a big project again. Smaller stuff might be ok but I need a VACATION!

[Tricolor]

I know your feelings, in 1998 I found myself in the same situation. I sold my company and our house and bought a 15 tons 4x4 expedition truck with the target to travel from Europe to China on the trail of Marco Polo. In 1999 our new adventure started, we traveled through Turkey, Iran, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kirgistan, Kazakhstan where we entered China following the China Wall to Beijing from there trough Inner-Mongolia to Mongolia where we crossed the Gobi Dessert to Ulaanbaatar. Finally into Siberia and 6 time zones back to Europe. 12 months and 35.000 km later we where back in Europe. Did it solved anything, no. Not long later divorced after a 25 years long marriage. Now re-married I found my rest again, but all in all this whole depression have costed me 15 years and a broken family.

[waterman46]

I can see getting burned out with house-building/renovating but how could one who loves the water, the sea, boats and anything to do with them, get burned out on working on your own boat? Beats me. 72 years and the best part of my life, other than family, is when I get a free day to go down to my boat and just do whatever needs doing. For the fun of it!

You who have so many boating opportunities at an early age, are extremely lucky. During my working years I managed to take a few months off, twice, to do serious cruising with my wife and daughter. Time of our lives, and best time in my life to look back on after my wife passed away. Taking such time off was not conducive to being promoted to management and a higher salary, so I remained a "working engineer", but I was happier that way, I believe.

Now daughter is grown up, I have new wife, making new plans, going on new cruises, never giving up the dream. My point is, you didn't mention health, but if you have that you can do anything you make up your mind to do, so stop whining and just go do it!